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rondetto On about 18 hours ago




Wrexham, United Kingdom
#1New Post! Feb 23, 2025 @ 11:22:14
The hardest part of a long distance relationship is persuading the wife to move away.

___

I once had a fling with a woman from my fencing club.
It was a rather sworded affair.

___

I'm looking to buy an old disused lighthouse.
You know, nothing too flashy.

___

I paid a chap to do some house clearing , when I came back from work my house had gone !

___

One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend.

"Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"

___

My mate just phoned to tell me he had changed his name to spinal column.
"Can I call you back”? I asked.

___

Went to the doctor today and asked him; Do you treat alcoholics?
We do, he answered.
I said; Great get your coat, I’m skint!

___

Last time I was in Paris they were filming an underwater version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.
It was called “Ringing in the Seine”

___

My mum and dad were dwarfs.
All their lives they struggled to put food on the table.

___

Awful news from my mate and his wife on honeymoon in Croatia.
He's just sent a text saying that tomorrow they're going to Split.

___

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

___
Darkman666 On about 15 hours ago




Saint Louis, Missouri
#2New Post! Feb 24, 2025 @ 01:49:25
@rondetto Said

The hardest part of a long distance relationship is persuading the wife to move away.

___

I once had a fling with a woman from my fencing club.
It was a rather sworded affair.

___

I'm looking to buy an old disused lighthouse.
You know, nothing too flashy.

___

I paid a chap to do some house clearing , when I came back from work my house had gone !

___

One evening I was in a bar talking to my friend.

"Last night, while I was out drinking, a burglar broke into my house.."
"Did he get anything?" asked my friend.
"Yes," I said.
"A broken jaw, six teeth knocked out, and a pair of broken ribs. My wife thought it was me coming home drunk!"

___

My mate just phoned to tell me he had changed his name to spinal column.
"Can I call you back”? I asked.

___

Went to the doctor today and asked him; Do you treat alcoholics?
We do, he answered.
I said; Great get your coat, I’m skint!

___

Last time I was in Paris they were filming an underwater version of “The Hunchback of Notre Dame”.
It was called “Ringing in the Seine”

___

My mum and dad were dwarfs.
All their lives they struggled to put food on the table.

___

Awful news from my mate and his wife on honeymoon in Croatia.
He's just sent a text saying that tomorrow they're going to Split.

___

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."

___




The hardest part of a long distance relationship is persuading the wife to move away.

you know what the harder than that, my wife sent my six pack of beer to my brother in law. i wonder if my brother in law would trade my beer back to me. i sent him, my wife!
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