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Having your first, second, third child

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beobscureclearly On August 04, 2006

Back of Beyond, Australia
#1New Post! Mar 05, 2006 @ 05:57:39
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here are some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name

1st baby: You pour over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.
2nd baby: Someone has to name his or her kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.
3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger points.

Preparing for the Birth

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette

1st baby: You pre-wash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?


1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.


1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.


1st baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first six - eight weeks
2nd baby: Sleeps in your bedroom for the first two weeks
3rd baby: Goes right from the hospital nursery into their own room

Baby Book

1st baby: You religiously make entries every day, carefully noting the number of spit-ups and bowel movements for the first year
2nd baby: You enter a few facts each week but stop after 6 months
3rd baby: You buy the book but enter the child's name, birth weight, and length on the first page


1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every 2 to 3 hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing a coin

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When 2nd child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for coin to pass.
3rd child: When 3rd child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!!

Pass this on to everyone you know who has children...or everyone who KNOWS someone who has had children... (the older the mother, the funnier this is!)
paramour On July 30, 2014

Purgatory Beach,
#2New Post! Mar 05, 2006 @ 06:01:58
Amusing, and I know people like this, but I don't seem to be guilty of any of these with my first and only one.
Lili On July 05, 2018

Sunshine Land,
#3New Post! Mar 05, 2006 @ 06:05:21
i seem to act like my only child daughter is second-born if that's the criteria. except for the rooming thing,she stayed in my room a long time cause im too lazy to walk down the hall in the middle of the night.
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker


London, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Mar 05, 2006 @ 12:05:26
wait i was a 3rd child
mosthauntedlover On March 18, 2016

My House, Ohio
#5New Post! Jul 03, 2006 @ 21:33:33
Lol i was the second child so it's not to awfully bad! That's really funny did you make that up or did u get it off a site??
WildChild On February 16, 2013
Perv Magnet

Southern Middle, Tennessee
#6New Post! Jul 03, 2006 @ 21:34:37
I'm so glad my baby having days are over.
x_chanelle_x On December 09, 2009


Untitled!, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Jul 03, 2006 @ 21:35:26
Im a first child
poshtotty On August 29, 2006

farquaad, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Jul 05, 2006 @ 15:35:56
Im not even having a third!! He is getting the snip as soon as this one is born LOL
poshtotty On August 29, 2006

farquaad, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Jul 05, 2006 @ 15:37:07
I was the FOURTH!!!!
knerba On May 13, 2011

Sandy, Utah
#10New Post! Jul 19, 2006 @ 22:59:36
Don't feel too bad. I was the SEVENTH!

But I don't really think that is the progression, though the list is funny.
dixy On September 26, 2006

newcastle, United Kingdom
#11New Post! Jul 26, 2006 @ 00:42:06
funny stuff and true too i have 3 kids and things do slacken when your onto your third somethings i havent done but some i have
megweb On September 05, 2006

Burlington, North Carolina
#12New Post! Aug 24, 2006 @ 17:29:08
... so true! Except for the baby book 1st has her name & 2nd she doesn't even HAVE one...just a shoebox full of stuff...
christa On January 14, 2009

, Canada
#13New Post! Aug 24, 2006 @ 18:14:39
lol soo true but i dident do a baby book for both and there is no way i am having a third one
julieinqld On November 04, 2006

Cooya Beach, Australia
#14New Post! Sep 26, 2006 @ 21:55:44
I love it.
It is so true.
lonestar On September 09, 2018

, Australia
#15New Post! Sep 26, 2006 @ 22:02:58
OK.........I guess it's good.
I had three children, the second being stillborn so my third wasn't born untill 6 years after the for me it was like having a first all over again! I thoroughly enjoyed both my girls as babys!
As for me, I was the sixth child!! Might explain my great need for attention these days!
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