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Five Principles of Civil Dialogue

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someone_else_again On May 20, 2021
Really. Not a dude.





, Washington
#1New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 20:34:03
A friend of mine posted a link to this story on Facebook and I instantly thought of TFS. We would all do well to read it but here is the short version.

Five Principles of Civil Dialogue

1. Truth is not My Truth, it’s Just Truth.

My ideas were not really my invention. Even if I was the first person to consider an idea, it’s still something I stumbled upon. I shouldn’t take it personally when somebody doesn’t agree. They aren’t rejecting me, they are rejecting an idea.


2. Methodology is Part of the Message

When I get defensive and then condescending, I associate my ideas with an offensive subtext, and that association is very strong to the hearer.


3. Without a Loving Heart, I am Like a Clanging Cymbal

If I don’t genuinely care about the people I’m talking to, I’ll be received like a guy standing there clanging cymbals together.


4. The Other Person has Sovereignty

Even if I think the other person is completely wrong, they have a right to their beliefs. If I’m trying to bully somebody into my way of seeing things, I’m not respecting the sovereignty of the person I am talking with.


5. I Could be Wrong

What we most want from the person we are talking to is for them to see things from our perspective and agree. That being said, though, are you willing to see things from their perspective?



https://storylineblog.com/2014/02/17/five-principles-of-civil-dialogue/


Thoughts?
Hypnotica On October 08, 2023

Banned



Steel City (Sheffield), United
#2New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 20:37:05
Change the mood not the mind.

Have a stronger frame.

Control the frame.
someone_else_again On May 20, 2021
Really. Not a dude.





, Washington
#3New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:02:58
@Hypnotica Said

Change the mood not the mind.

Have a stronger frame.

Control the frame.



It's not about changing people, it's about being a nice person while you're talking to others.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#4New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:04:37
@someone_else_again Said

A friend of mine posted a link to this story on Facebook and I instantly thought of TFS. We would all do well to read it but here is the short version.

Five Principles of Civil Dialogue

1. Truth is not My Truth, it’s Just Truth.

My ideas were not really my invention. Even if I was the first person to consider an idea, it’s still something I stumbled upon. I shouldn’t take it personally when somebody doesn’t agree. They aren’t rejecting me, they are rejecting an idea.


2. Methodology is Part of the Message

When I get defensive and then condescending, I associate my ideas with an offensive subtext, and that association is very strong to the hearer.


3. Without a Loving Heart, I am Like a Clanging Cymbal

If I don’t genuinely care about the people I’m talking to, I’ll be received like a guy standing there clanging cymbals together.


4. The Other Person has Sovereignty

Even if I think the other person is completely wrong, they have a right to their beliefs. If I’m trying to bully somebody into my way of seeing things, I’m not respecting the sovereignty of the person I am talking with.


5. I Could be Wrong

What we most want from the person we are talking to is for them to see things from our perspective and agree. That being said, though, are you willing to see things from their perspective?



https://storylineblog.com/2014/02/17/five-principles-of-civil-dialogue/


Thoughts?



I agree with these. I feel its important to begin each conversation/debate with civil and polite attitude. However, I am not a doormat and do not appreciate how some chose to speak to others so the moment someone makes the choice not to speak in a polite and civil and respectful manner to me, we are going to have a problem.

I think we all just want to be heard and understood and our view respected even if someone disagrees. There is a right and a wrong way to disagree with someone.
someone_else_again On May 20, 2021
Really. Not a dude.





, Washington
#5New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:25:01
@DorkySupergirl Said

I agree with these. I feel its important to begin each conversation/debate with civil and polite attitude. However, I am not a doormat and do not appreciate how some chose to speak to others so the moment someone makes the choice not to speak in a polite and civil and respectful manner to me, we are going to have a problem.


Of course we have to draw a line when the discussion becomes an attack. I would hope most people are mature enough to know the difference.


@DorkySupergirl Said

I think we all just want to be heard and understood and our view respected even if someone disagrees. There is a right and a wrong way to disagree with someone.



Exactly. I thought this article seemed like it would help both in the reception and the delivery of "arguments." Of course, like with so many things, those who would benefit from the advice won't listen and those who listen won't need it because they already practice it. Exercises in futility? Perhaps.
yami On September 11, 2016

Banned



grimsby, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:27:58
Arguments about how to be civil...oh the irony!
No, on a serious note, keep any debates about these 5 points civil. Remember to see the other point of view. Except for Nazi's and pedo's.
someone_else_again On May 20, 2021
Really. Not a dude.





, Washington
#7New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:33:43
@yami Said

Arguments about how to be civil...oh the irony!
No, on a serious note, keep any debates about these 5 points civil. Remember to see the other point of view. Except for Nazi's and pedo's.



Who is arguing?
yami On September 11, 2016

Banned



grimsby, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:37:36
@someone_else_again Said

Who is arguing?



Oh, it always ends in argument, but the link, is this to a religous site?
someone_else_again On May 20, 2021
Really. Not a dude.





, Washington
#9New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 21:43:03
@yami Said

Oh, it always ends in argument, but the link, is this to a religous site?


Umm. I shy away from the word "religious." I thought you'd know this by now...

Anyway, this is my first time having been to that site. The person who shared it on Facebook is Christian. The contributors to the website seem to be more...humanitarian? Spiritual? I'm not sure. Their bios are varied and I think what they have in common is that they want to impact the world in a positive way.

They also seem to be writers. That might go without saying as this is a blog site.
yami On September 11, 2016

Banned



grimsby, United Kingdom
#10New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 22:08:57
@someone_else_again Said

Umm. I shy away from the word "religious." I thought you'd know this by now...

Anyway, this is my first time having been to that site. The person who shared it on Facebook is Christian. The contributors to the website seem to be more...humanitarian? Spiritual? I'm not sure. Their bios are varied and I think what they have in common is that they want to impact the world in a positive way.

They also seem to be writers. That might go without saying as this is a blog site.



That's me, always putting my foot in it, you should know this by now too...
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#11New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 22:16:26
@someone_else_again Said

Of course we have to draw a line when the discussion becomes an attack. I would hope most people are mature enough to know the difference.





Exactly. I thought this article seemed like it would help both in the reception and the delivery of "arguments." Of course, like with so many things, those who would benefit from the advice won't listen and those who listen won't need it because they already practice it. Exercises in futility? Perhaps.


You are spot on in the last post and I think the expression is leading a horse to water but you cannot make it drink.

There are some on here and in real life who feel its their job to be smartasses and rude to people for no reason at all. They speak to people as though they are above them and the rest of us are just idiots who need to be talked down to and of course, we are wrong as we possibly cannot be as intelligent as they are. They speak so mean and rude to others and do not even seem to care how they treat anyone and it leads me to think for some its not just how they are on the internet but how they are in real life.

Interesting is on CNN today they were talking about internet trolls and studies showing these people are unhappy, miserable and mean people in real life as well.

@yami Said

Arguments about how to be civil...oh the irony!
No, on a serious note, keep any debates about these 5 points civil. Remember to see the other point of view. Except for Nazi's and pedo's.



My English could be flawed but I am pretty sure the topic is about civil dialogue and Someone Else put the word argument in " " and I called it a discussion/debate so I fail how to see this is about arguments and I am not sure but I do not think that is the proper use of the word irony.

Your post is actually the essence of what is being discussed. People have civil dialogue and someone coming into the thread and not being civil.
chaski On March 28, 2024
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#12New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 22:30:22
When people fail to treat me civilly in their discourse, I just shut down...



Or was that the gloves that go down...



DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#13New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 22:36:03
@chaski Said

When people fail to treat me civilly in their discourse, I just shut down...



Or was that the gloves that go down...






I knew I liked you my little snickerdoodle.
chaski On March 28, 2024
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#14New Post! Feb 19, 2014 @ 23:28:52
@DorkySupergirl Said

I knew I liked you my little snickerdoodle.


I am indeed a snicker doodle.
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#15New Post! Feb 20, 2014 @ 00:03:18
@someone_else_again Said

A friend of mine posted a link to this story on Facebook and I instantly thought of TFS. We would all do well to read it but here is the short version.

Five Principles of Civil Dialogue

1. Truth is not My Truth, it’s Just Truth.

My ideas were not really my invention. Even if I was the first person to consider an idea, it’s still something I stumbled upon. I shouldn’t take it personally when somebody doesn’t agree. They aren’t rejecting me, they are rejecting an idea.


2. Methodology is Part of the Message

When I get defensive and then condescending, I associate my ideas with an offensive subtext, and that association is very strong to the hearer.


3. Without a Loving Heart, I am Like a Clanging Cymbal

If I don’t genuinely care about the people I’m talking to, I’ll be received like a guy standing there clanging cymbals together.


4. The Other Person has Sovereignty

Even if I think the other person is completely wrong, they have a right to their beliefs. If I’m trying to bully somebody into my way of seeing things, I’m not respecting the sovereignty of the person I am talking with.


5. I Could be Wrong

What we most want from the person we are talking to is for them to see things from our perspective and agree. That being said, though, are you willing to see things from their perspective?



https://storylineblog.com/2014/02/17/five-principles-of-civil-dialogue/


Thoughts?



I would agree with all of it but #5 - I don't wanna be the new Jesus. I only wish to circumvent people from scrambling to create (yet) more inane laws which allow them to shove their d***s in the potatoes of my life's party.
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