@Nanato3 Said 
A close family member, who I get on with just fine has a couple of habits that is bothering me to no end and I would just like to know if I should ignore it or say something.
Unfortunately their house does not have central air conditioning and all they have is one portable air conditioner. With the heat we've had this summer and with 3 little ones you can imagine how unbearable it has been for them. I like to help out when I can but I just can't afford to get them central air so I did not next best thing and bought them another portable one.
When talking to her yesterday all I got from her when I told her was where she was going to put this unit and how hot it's been there......not one word of thanks. This is not the first time she's done this, it's like it's expected of me and I do get so very annoyed. The same a couple of weeks ago after buying shoes for the children, not a simple thank you from her.
I honestly do not mind one bit buying things for them but all I want in return is a simple "thank you".........is that really asking to much?
The other thing that is really bothering me is when she asks me to pick something up for her, she seldom pays me for it, again I get so annoyed at that and keep saying "never again". She asked me to get something a couple of weeks ago which came to $37, I've asked her a couple of times for it and all I get is "oh that's right, I owe you ..."
I honestly don't expect any payment at all when I choose to buy something but when I'm asked to buy then yes I do expect payment back.
I was bought up to say a simple thank you and I don't think that's too hard to expect back.
Am I being too picky or what? any suggestions other than talking to my son? I don't want to embarrass him
I know what "I" would do
but it sounds like you are tying to salvage the relationship, not sever it.
Each time you do something for her that is costing you, I would first say things like "I can't do this all the time, it's getting too expensive" - things to that nature.
That should set off an alarm in her head and she should, if she's normal, begin to have appreciation, or at least to start showing it as she realizes it may soon not be there anymore...
And even if she does thank you; it's a way of getting her used to the idea that you simply can NOT always be there for her in that way. (and she should not expect you to be; no matter if you are in the position to be or not; it is her responsibility, so don't feel guilty about it. )
In the case of the things you pick up for her. If you choose to continue doing these things, then tell her "sure, I'll do it, give me the money."
Don't agree to get it later when you return with the stuff. If you have to lie and say you have no money on you, then do it. Or acutally leave your money/credit cards at home so you don't have to lie.
We really do have to
teach people how to treat us...Things don't always come natural. And quite frankly, some are simply jealous; also, instead of the natural feeling of gratitude they instead may have resentment.
So show her by your own actions that you matter to yourself, and that you will no longer be taken for granted.
Why feel guilty for this treatment? Does she feel guilty for her treatment of you?
Jul 20, 2012 @ 04:56:13
all you'll do is make a servant of yourself to them. I'm sure your hearts in the right place with this lot,but if they can't look after themselves,look after Number 1 instead and let them fend for themselves their own way.
