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Domestic violence against men

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twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#16New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:00:12
@white_swan53 Said

That's jus it, the wife doesn't have to be able to over power him physically . She knows he won't fight back , that is a the same reason men will continue to abuse their wives for years . The abuser found out in the beginning that the other wouldn't fight back . There are lots of stories of a woman taking her husband beating her down for decades and then one day or night she snaps . and one of them wind up seriously injured or dead. Men are less likely to snap because of shame and the general feeling of taboo they face that women don't in our society. It's pretty damn Sad to think that a man will continue to take abuse from his wife because o the way he would be treated by the public if he were to fight back , isn't it.


yes, is unfortunately, men were taught by society not hit a woman. but the society never told a woman not to hit a man.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#17New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:18:00
@white_swan53 Said

Yes I'm sure wen have the same laws or very similar ones here . But here as well as there , when the cops show up and find it's the husband saying he is the one who called and it is him that that is being abused . The cops tend to treat him and his report as a joke or at most like he's lying about who started the fight and who it is that needs their protection .


I'm sure the same thing happens when a women accused someone of r*pe. The police don't take the victims statement seriously and would still make them feeling guilty for being a female.

That's not an excuse to justify the way the male victims are treated. It just goes to show how the society hold on to blind codes and beliefs when it comes to different situations about men and women.

The problems to do with male- and female-inflicted violence are stacked with theories of essentialism and myths that must be demolished.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#18New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:23:47
@Leez Said

I'm sure the same thing happens when a women accused someone of r*pe. The police don't take the victims statement seriously and would still make them feeling guilty for being a female.

That's not an excuse to justify the way the male victims are treated. It just goes to show how the society hold on to blind codes and beliefs when it comes to different situations about men and women.

The problems to do with male- and female-inflicted violence are stacked with theories of essentialism and myths that must be demolished.



look like more double standards that society does for or against men and women. than how men and women treat each others.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#19New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:35:59
@twilitezone911 Said

yes, is unfortunately, men were taught by society not hit a woman. but the society never told a woman not to hit a man.



not all of society taught everyone that. my dad told my brothers
to never hit girl unless she has put herself in a mans place. meaning if a woman throws the first punch then she has just put herself in a man's place. then he told me, to never wait for that first punch , if a guy grabs ahold of me and I'm scared he's going to try and knock me around , to poke his nose with a good solid punch and get the hell out of there . I can't count the times that being able to land a good solid punch has saved me from some a** wipe who thought 'woman' was a another word for punching bag .
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#20New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:45:49
@white_swan53 Said

not all of society taught everyone that. my dad told my brothers
to never hit girl unless she has put herself in a mans place. meaning if a woman throws the first punch then she has just put herself in a man's place. then he told me, to never wait for that first punch , if a guy grabs ahold of me and I'm scared he's going to try and knock me around , to poke his nose with a good solid punch and get the hell out of there . I can't count the times that being able to land a good solid punch has saved me from some a** wipe who thought 'woman' was a another word for punching bag .



that make a lot of sense, a women should defend themselves. when the word " no! ' not listen to by a man.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#21New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 19:50:10
@Leez Said

I'm sure the same thing happens when a women accused someone of r*pe. The police don't take the victims statement seriously and would still make them feeling guilty for being a female.

That's not an excuse to justify the way the male victims are treated. It just goes to show how the society hold on to blind codes and beliefs when it comes to different situations about men and women.

The problems to do with male- and female-inflicted violence are stacked with theories of essentialism and myths that must be demolished.



I totally agree.
One very telling example of how the deck is stacked on this topic is ,
When most men hear that their daughter has been sexually assaulted they go ape s*** crazy and either demand the law do something NOW or take it into their heads they are going to do something.
If that same dad hears that his son has been sexually assaulted, he is so ashamed , that all he wants to do is for everyone keep quiet about it and let the dust settle and blow over.
That's before the cops get involved and treat the girl like she asked for , and the boy like he deserved it if he's to wimpy to have been able to fight back and stopped it from happening and it's all down hill from there.

the case where the guy was convicted of 3 felonies and was sentenced to 6 months ,out in 3 at the county jail,, proves what I mean by all down hill...
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#22New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 20:21:31
@twilitezone911 Said

yes, is unfortunately, men were taught by society not hit a woman. but the society never told a woman not to hit a man.



I have been brought up to be self reliant / standing, and my grandfather rightly or wrongly taught me to treat every male as a potential predator until proven innocent through their actions and character on the long run.
So far, it kept my sanity and saved me from pointless arguments with males, that can escalate to heating arguments.

I wait before engaging into something, and I don't regret the outcome.
Therefore, violence isn't in my bokk as I walked out on first signs of low self esteem.

In other cultures, men are taught to be the 'head' of the family by many parents, and women to be submissive and revolve their life around the men. Or, the cultural practice outweights common sense and human rights.

This practice is often adopted by other cultures, especially by men.
Instead of defeating this practice by working more on the self awareness, women in return have started to do the same as men.

Sometimes, I feel that it's like a battle of power between men and women.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#23New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 20:42:29
@Leez Said

I have been brought up to be self reliant / standing, and my grandfather rightly or wrongly taught me to treat every male as a potential predator until proven innocent through their actions and character on the long run.
So far, it kept my sanity and saved me from pointless arguments with males, that can escalate to heating arguments.

I wait before engaging into something, and I don't regret the outcome.
Therefore, violence isn't in my bokk as I walked out on first signs of low self esteem.

In other cultures, men are taught to be the 'head' of the family by many parents, and women to be submissive and revolve their life around the men. Or, the cultural practice outweights common sense and human rights.

This practice is often adopted by other cultures, especially by men.
Instead of defeating this practice by working more on the self awareness, women in return have started to do the same as men.

Sometimes, I feel that it's like a battle of power between men and women.



your grandfather taught you are right, you be careful about men. men can unpredictable like women are.

men can be immature at times, that depend how they raise. maybe depend who more dominating in the family. the mother or father.

men have low esteem because of lack of male roles in the life. someone to look up to. mothers can dominate men that men have low-esteem from them. so they problems dealing with women aren't their mothers.

society teach men to be head of the family, back then, men wouldn't consider women as a equal or have a job.

nowsdays, women have a career and a family, they not always need a man in their life. men are more confuse by this, a threat by women.
LuckyCharms On July 31, 2021
Magically Delicious





,
#24New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 20:46:09
@Leez Said

I have been brought up to be self reliant / standing, and my grandfather rightly or wrongly taught me to treat every male as a potential predator until proven innocent through their actions and character on the long run.
So far, it kept my sanity and saved me from pointless arguments with males, that can escalate to heating arguments.

I wait before engaging into something, and I don't regret the outcome.
Therefore, violence isn't in my bokk as I walked out on first signs of low self esteem.

In other cultures, men are taught to be the 'head' of the family by many parents, and women to be submissive and revolve their life around the men. Or, the cultural practice outweights common sense and human rights.

This practice is often adopted by other cultures, especially by men.
Instead of defeating this practice by working more on the self awareness, women in return have started to do the same as men.

Sometimes, I feel that it's like a battle of power between men and women.



In many ways it is. But it really shouldn't be. It's just a conceptual shift.

I feel it goes back to how we value "masculine" and "feminine" in society. Specifically how the "masculine" traits tend to be given higher value and rewarded more than the "feminine" traits.

Men can't appear "weak like women" so they don't get support when abused. Even feminism focused for so long on women acting like men in order to make headway. We naturally assign leadership traits to men and follower traits to women.

It's just one big f***ed up gender paradigm that hurts everyone.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#25New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 21:23:34
@twilitezone911 Said

your grandfather taught you are right, you be careful about men. men can unpredictable like women are.

men can be immature at times, that depend how they raise. maybe depend who more dominating in the family. the mother or father.

men have low esteem because of lack of male roles in the life. someone to look up to. mothers can dominate men that men have low-esteem from them. so they problems dealing with women aren't their mothers.

society teach men to be head of the family, back then, men wouldn't consider women as a equal or have a job.

nowsdays, women have a career and a family, they not always need a man in their life. men are more confuse by this, a threat by women.



I think of a man as being capable of anything because their actions are generally related to their ego and/or low self esteem.

Although women can be unpredictable, they don't go around to r*ape and beat up people at any given time. Women even have restrictions on their freedom of movements for safety reasons. Men can just go anywhere and don't have the same worries like women.

You're right, back then, the society had a different view about the value of a man and woman.

However, education is available freely in many countries, therefore, no excuse for men to justify their lack of education and self awareness by saying their is no role model.

Some men grew up without any parents and are a role model to the society and humanity.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#26New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 22:08:06
@Leez Said

I think of a man as being capable of anything because their actions are generally related to their ego and/or low self esteem.

Although women can be unpredictable, they don't go around to r*ape and beat up people at any given time. Women even have restrictions on their freedom of movements for safety reasons. Men can just go anywhere and don't have the same worries like women.

You're right, back then, the society had a different view about the value of a man and woman.

However, education is available freely in many countries, therefore, no excuse for men to justify their lack of education and self awareness by saying their is no role model.

Some men grew up without any parents and are a role model to the society and humanity.



agree with you, you are said.

that is true about kids that can grew up without parents ore even without role models are good example for their kids to a good role models.

boys go through a lot of phases in life. peer pressure is among to build their ego. stand up on their own. especially with bullies in their life at school.

team sports go either for boys teach works a team, self esteem be part of a group, or even work in a class or afternoon clubs. outside active with other boys help learn leadership and follow the leader.

men have different ideas about a role models even women has their views of role models , they want look up to.

i am not sure boys understand role models to get self-esteem. you right, role model probably not the best word for it.

both men and women are to something that believe in doesn't hold up to your standards, it's fall off. so a man or a woman exception is lower because if a role model. or someone you look show that they are human.

your values are lower, so does your ego. you found out that you have always have stand up yourself.

a lot of problems of men with the kind of person , they are or they want to be. that come from early age. why men are more frustrate and lash out at women in domestic violence, maybe lack of something. there are some pros and cons, that are there, i don't have a one answer to give you.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#27New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 22:55:14
Men and women who use domestic abuse and violence as a way of making a point, lack self awareness and have low self esteem in my opinion.

It's about control and power to have a sense of identity or belonging.

I don't believe for a second that the education of men and women should be in any way different, or they have different issues. Both are humans and should be treated equally with same standards and education.

That's possibly how unity is formed and respect maintained in a society.

Now values, that's something different. There is no set codes about having similar values or moral codes, it's something built up with time, experience, education and knowledge in my opinion.

The lack of it doesn't mean a person's standard is lower. But the lack of same level of education and having genders in different educational categories, creates division and makes some feel superior or inferior.

I like the idea of mandatory national military service, community work and scouts groups activities.

It's very helpful and enables many to learn disciplines, break old habits and blind beliefs, be faced with situations to act independently, use the common sense and show self responsibility.
The self awareness is shaped.
Working for free also make some learn compassion, empathy and develop their listening and social skills.

I'll consider being in the politics in about a few years, then, I may implement all of them
Ratty On March 22, 2021




So Cal, California
#28New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 22:58:41


Maybe it works for men too.

j/k
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#29New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 23:18:42
@Leez Said

Men and women who use domestic abuse and violence as a way of making a point, lack self awareness and have low self esteem in my opinion.

It's about control and power to have a sense of identity or belonging.

I don't believe for a second that the education of men and women should be in any way different, or they have different issues. Both are humans and should be treated equally with same standards and education.

That's how unity is formed and respect maintained in a society.

Now values, that's something different. There is not set codes about having similar values or moral codes, it's something built up with time, experience, education and knowledge in my opinion.

The lack of it doesn't mean a person's standard is lower. But the lack of same level of education and having genders in different educational categories, creates division and makes some feel superior or inferior.

I like the idea of mandatory national military service, community work and scouts groups activities.

It's very helpful and enables many to learn disciplines, break old habits and blind beliefs, be faced with situations to act independently, use the common sense and show self responsibility.
The self awareness is shaped.
Working for free also make some learn compassion, empathy and develop their listening and social skills.

I'll consider being in the politics in about a few years, then, I may implement all of them



i agree with that.

lack of awareness who you are and what you can be issue to a person. with self esteem is probably is the major factors of domestic violence.

wife and male beating , i believe also, that it is self-esteem and some sense of lack awareness is a major factor.

if the wife has lack of self esteem and lack of awareness. if the husband is much stronger than woman. if the husband has bad childhood or angry at the world. he would take on her, she would let him. would apply to husband , if he is weaker than the wife. and she beat him.

many ways, sound really wrong to us. psychology is the marriage is a perfect fit like a a glove fit on a hand. in sense, they belong to each other in many ways in harmony. they feed on each other, that could explain why they stay together.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#30New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 23:57:48
@Leez Said

I have been brought up to be self reliant / standing, and my grandfather rightly or wrongly taught me to treat every male as a potential predator until proven innocent through their actions and character on the long run.
So far, it kept my sanity and saved me from pointless arguments with males, that can escalate to heating arguments.

I wait before engaging into something, and I don't regret the outcome.
Therefore, violence isn't in my bokk as I walked out on first signs of low self esteem.

In other cultures, men are taught to be the 'head' of the family by many parents, and women to be submissive and revolve their life around the men. Or, the cultural practice outweights common sense and human rights.

This practice is often adopted by other cultures, especially by men.
Instead of defeating this practice by working more on the self awareness, women in return have started to do the same as men.

Sometimes, I feel that it's like a battle of power between men and women.



My daughter was confident m she knew who she was and what she could do and she knew she could learn anything she was interested in learning.
She knew her self worth didn't come from what others thought of her it came from knowing herself and what she was capable of. And most important she was comfortable in her own skin . I taught her that while there are predators we all have to watch for . that for every predator she met up with there are a hundred non predators. . For her to keep alert and aware of her surroundings . The fact that she could flank a 350 lbs. yearling by herself didn't hurt her chances of survival a bit.

I guess the reason I shared this about my girl is this part of your post is really setting off some red flags for me .

Quote:
to treat every male as a potential predator until proven innocent
Did your grand dad ever explains why he would teach you this. ? It would be deeper then ' I just want you to know or be on the look out ' did he also teach you any sort of physical self defense skills , while teaching you that every male you meet is a potential predator ?
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