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Domestic violence against men

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white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#2New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 15:19:50
I have no idea why the first link isn't being a link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_against_men
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#3New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 15:31:39
thank you for put this thread for me, swan. i didn't the facts to back up anything at the time, i posted before. here is the post that i was talking about that inspire this thread.


another tv movie was a taboo that men don't talk about it. it more violate than richard beck movie if is that possible for a man. or the violate is for the man. depending how you look at it.

the tv movie called " men don't tell " starring peter strauss. This movie shows another side to spousal abuse that not too many people thought is possible--the husband being abused and the wife the abuser.

men don't tell


this movie is on youtube. it is another a good movie.

" sprouse absuse " hardly probably brought up back in the 90's or even before.

who would a man turn to get help and confess that his wife is abusing him. who? a priest?

i think spouse abuser would be a taboo in this society. the embarrassment of the man, the man can't slap the wife, he would arrest for wife beating.

of course, he tell the police,that his wife is beating him. but they never would believe him.

now that spouse abuse is accept as a crime. but the taboo is still hang over this crime.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:06:19
I have no idea how it works in another country, but in the UK, I do often deal with women ordered to leave the house.

The first partner to report a domestic violence case, may also be ordered to leave the house - if deemed necessary and depending on the evidence. Some can stay and ask the abuser to be ordered out of the house.

There are different types of violence which come under Domestic Violence. It's the duty of the police officers to be in line with the laws, before ordering someone out of the house. Or give both the victim and abuser the choice to decide on the options relevant to the incident.

In many cases, victims are moved out of the house for their best interest, regardless of their decision.

It's not automatic to arrest a person. Depending on the initial evidence, it's more common for officers to give a verbal warning.

Men don't always report domestic violence or abuse, simply for feeling ashamed of being a man, yet being incapable of defending themselves.

The society expect a man to have a stronger strength of character and also be physically strong. Many women also need to review their expectations from men.

Sad reality, but men also need to break this myth about masculinity and expectations wrongly associated with it.

I know many organisations set up by women for the men in the UK. Sadly, many men would make the male victims feel less masculine and weak if they talk about it, whereas the women would be the first line of support.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#5New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:21:26
@Leez Said

I have no idea how it works in another country, but in the UK, I do often deal with women ordered to leave the house.

The first partner to report a domestic violence case, may also be ordered to leave the house - if deemed necessary and depending on the evidence. Some can stay and ask the abuser to be ordered out of the house.

There are different types of violence which come under Domestic Violence. It's the duty of the police officers to be in line with the laws, before ordering someone out of the house. Or give both the victim and abuser the choice to decide on the options relevant to the incident.

In many cases, victims are moved out of the house for their best interest, regardless of their decision.

It's not automatic to arrest a person. Depending on the initial evidence, it's more common for officers to give a verbal warning.

Men don't always report domestic violence or abuse, simply for feeling ashamed of being a man, yet being incapable of defending themselves.

The society expect a man to have a stronger strength of character and also be physically strong. Many women also need to review their expectations from men.

Sad reality, but men also need to break this myth about masculinity and expectations wrongly associated with it.

I know many organisations set up by women for the men in the UK. Sadly, many men would make the male victims feel less masculine and weak if they talk about it, whereas the women would be the first line of support.



what i see on america tv, not factual or realistic if it is true.

what you describing , i think the same laws to apply here usa, as well.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:40:04
@twilitezone911 Said

what i see on america tv, not factual or realistic if it is true.

what you describing , i think the same laws to apply here usa, as well.



I have been reading the 'Freedom of Speech' Amendment of America lately.
Not yet finished and still a long way to go.

Looking at things that can be said and deemed as acceptable, in the UK if a partner says similar things to the other partner, it can be classed as psychological abuse. Hence, it goes under Domestice Violence Act.

Therefore, I'm assuming that the laws in America may be slighlty or significantly different even for domestic violence.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#7New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:41:55
@Leez Said

I have no idea how it works in another country, but in the UK, I do often deal with women ordered to leave the house.

The first partner to report a domestic violence case, may also be ordered to leave the house - if deemed necessary and depending on the evidence. Some can stay and ask the abuser to be ordered out of the house.

There are different types of violence which come under Domestic Violence. It's the duty of the police officers to be in line with the laws, before ordering someone out of the house. Or give both the victim and abuser the choice to decide on the options relevant to the incident.

In many cases, victims are moved out of the house for their best interest, regardless of their decision.

It's not automatic to arrest a person. Depending on the initial evidence, it's more common for officers to give a verbal warning.

Men don't always report domestic violence or abuse, simply for feeling ashamed of being a man, yet being incapable of defending themselves.

The society expect a man to have a stronger strength of character and also be physically strong. Many women also need to review their expectations from men.

Sad reality, but men also need to break this myth about masculinity and expectations wrongly associated with it.

I know many organisations set up by women for the men in the UK. Sadly, many men would make the male victims feel less masculine and weak if they talk about it, whereas the women would be the first line of support.


From the numbers I found , there isn't an arrest every time the cops are called here either . But , and it's sad to say , if there is an arrest made it will be the man arrested . Do you have the any info on
the percentages of when a woman calls vs. when a man calls and how the cops react or respond to the different genders ?
I posted the info for here in my OP if you need to see what I'm talking about .
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:49:50
@white_swan53 Said

From the numbers I found , there isn't an arrest every time the cops are called here either . But , and it's sad to say , if there is an arrest made it will be the man arrested . Do you have the any info on
the percentages of when a woman calls vs. when a man calls and how the cops react or respond to the different genders ?
I posted the info for here in my OP if you need to see what I'm talking about .


I read the source and the link is flawed.
It says on top of the page (wikipedia)that information has been obtained from primary sources only.
In the UK, men don't call - they usually walk out and leave the women.
They'll only call if major injuries and escaping is made difficult.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#9New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 17:51:23
There is several different type of domestic abuse here are a few of them ,
actual violence
object throwing
mental abuse
constant bullying
constant insults

I read that men tend down play the abuse if it's not physical violence . It's one of the ways a man fibs to himself to save face .
After reading how the men that do report being abused are treated starting with the police officers to the courts to society inn general it's a small wonder most men will just basically suffer in silence .
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#10New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:01:03
@Leez Said

I read the source and the link is flawed.
It says on top of the page (wikipedia)that information has been obtained from primary sources only.
In the UK, men don't call - they usually walk out and leave the women.
They'll only call if major injuries and escaping is made difficult.



That is pretty much the same way it goes here.
Would you call to report something if there was a 99% chance you wouldn't be believed and it would be you that was charged with what you were calling to report ? That be a big, Hell no !
That is one of the favorite reasons an abusive woman will use to hold over the husbands head when she's getting violent, that if he tells any one she will just say she was acting in self defense , and no questions asked the cops automatically believe her and off to jail the man goes.
Leez On May 07, 2017

Deleted



, United Kingdom
#11New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:12:44
@white_swan53 Said

That is pretty much the same way it goes here.
Would you call to report something if there was a 99% chance you wouldn't be believed and it would be you that was charged with what you were calling to report ? That be a big, Hell no !
That is one of the favorite reasons an abusive woman will use to hold over the husbands head when she's getting violent, that if he tells any one she will just say she was acting in self defense , and no questions asked the cops automatically believe her and off to jail the man goes.


Well, I'm from the newer generation and had the opportunity of having education. If faced with such situation, I would report without thinking of the negative outcome. Simply for having learnt to stand by my rights and I always keep my optimism.

I don't have a link, but if you google information / data from Home Office statistical bulletins and the British Crime, there are reports of around 40% registered for men under domestice violence and 60% for women. (UK only)

Testimonies from males victims reveals that, at first, they have been reluctant to say that they've been abused by women, because it's seen as unmanly and weak by same sex.

I wonder the number of unreported cases of domestic violence against men for similar reasons.

However, it's true that in many cases, males victims are treated as second-class victims by different authorities. Sadly, women from unstable backgrounds, are also treated the same way.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#12New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:19:09
with the husband abuse, that it is not shocking. but the sad part that a man can't defend himself against her.

if he physically defend against and strike her back. the law will defend her than man. law would automatically will charge him for assault. the law will turn against the man as if he is lying.

i wonder if the physically evidence that he is getting abuse by his wife. the doctors that examine him, can prove that his wife did the abuse.

if the doctors were in court, on trail, and testifying that the wife actually was capable to overpower her husband in of abuse. because of her size, her strength, and being a woman.

would a jury believe that this woman could be capable to abuse her husband, and he did nothing to defend himself?
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#13New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:26:37
@Leez Said





It's not automatic to arrest a person. Depending on the initial evidence, it's more common for officers to give a verbal warning.

Men don't always report domestic violence or abuse, simply for feeling ashamed of being a man, yet being incapable of defending themselves.



Sad reality, but men also need to break this myth about masculinity and expectations wrongly associated with it.




@twilitezone911 Said



what you describing , i think the same laws to apply here usa, as well.



Yes I'm sure wen have the same laws or very similar ones here . But here as well as there , when the cops show up and find it's the husband saying he is the one who called and it is him that that is being abused . The cops tend to treat him and his report as a joke or at most like he's lying about who started the fight and who it is that needs their protection .
Like it was described in the movie 'Men don't tell' The husband had been all night telling the story of years of abuse the he had suffered at the hands of his wife. He was talking to men ( the cops) who was laughing about it and treating it as a joke not believing one word of his tale. They had actually arrested him and he was sitting in a cell . If not for the little daughter asking her grand dad ,who BTW was also convinced his daughter in law was the victim of abuse by his son, if her mommy was in trouble , grand dad ask why she thought her mommy would be inn trouble? The kid said " because she hits my daddy" the husband would have been in real deep doo doo because every one thought he was lying , trying to put it all off n his wife. After they al had heard what the kid had to say mommy and daddy traded places .
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#14New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:40:16
@twilitezone911 Said

with the husband abuse, that it is not shocking. but the sad part that a man can't defend himself against her.

if he physically defend against and strike her back. the law will defend her than man. law would automatically will charge him for assault. the law will turn against the man as if he is lying.

i wonder if the physically evidence that he is getting abuse by his wife. the doctors that examine him, can prove that his wife did the abuse.

if the doctors were in court, on trail, and testifying that the wife actually was capable to overpower her husband in of abuse. because of her size, her strength, and being a woman.

would a jury believe that this woman could be capable to abuse her husband, and he did nothing to defend himself?


That's jus it, the wife doesn't have to be able to over power him physically . She knows he won't fight back , that is a the same reason men will continue to abuse their wives for years . The abuser found out in the beginning that the other wouldn't fight back . There are lots of stories of a woman taking her husband beating her down for decades and then one day or night she snaps . and one of them wind up seriously injured or dead. Men are less likely to snap because of shame and the general feeling of taboo they face that women don't in our society. It's pretty damn Sad to think that a man will continue to take abuse from his wife because o the way he would be treated by the public if he were to fight back , isn't it.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#15New Post! Jun 11, 2016 @ 18:48:01
@white_swan53 Said

Yes I'm sure wen have the same laws or very similar ones here . But here as well as there , when the cops show up and find it's the husband saying he is the one who called and it is him that that is being abused . The cops tend to treat him and his report as a joke or at most like he's lying about who started the fight and who it is that needs their protection .
Like it was described in the movie 'Men don't tell' The husband had been all night telling the story of years of abuse the he had suffered at the hands of his wife. He was talking to men ( the cops) who was laughing about it and treating it as a joke not believing one word of his tale. They had actually arrested him and he was sitting in a cell . If not for the little daughter asking her grand dad ,who BTW was also convinced his daughter in law was the victim of abuse by his son, if her mommy was in trouble , grand dad ask why she thought her mommy would be inn trouble? The kid said " because she hits my daddy" the husband would have been in real deep doo doo because every one thought he was lying , trying to put it all off n his wife. After they al had heard what the kid had to say mommy and daddy traded places .



it been 23 years that i have seen this movie. i was surprise that i remember the movie and the subject. in the 80's, there was a movie called " something wrong about ameila " that is for another thread.

this movie was the first type of tv movie as " taboo " to talking about subject that disturbing that a father could do to his daughter. at time, it was air , i never heard about it. it was very shocking to watch. it was so powerful, it got the message out there.

the other tv movies were come out how family or couple that deals with soo many disturbing violence so many forms. abc was the first to realizes that is a problem with taboo in america. the public need to know.
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