The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums: Society & Lifestyles:
Kids

Does Corporal punishment do more harm

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
Pages: 1 2 · >>
futilevoice On October 07, 2016

Deleted



, Illinois
#1New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 17:48:34
than good?

"It is claimed that children subjected to corporal punishment may grow resentful, shy, insecure, or violent. Adults who report having been slapped or spanked by their parents in childhood have been found to experience elevated rates of anxiety disorder, alcohol abuse or dependence and externalizing problems as adults.

Some researchers believe that corporal punishment actually works against its objective (normally obedience), since children will not voluntarily obey an adult they do not trust."

Do you spank your kids? Would you, if you had kids?
Would society be better off if spanking/beatings were banned in the home as well?
JR_Sanford On August 02, 2017




Portland (St. Johns), Oregon
#2New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 17:55:36
@futilevoice Said

than good?

"It is claimed that children subjected to corporal punishment may grow resentful, shy, insecure, or violent. Adults who report having been slapped or spanked by their parents in childhood have been found to experience elevated rates of anxiety disorder, alcohol abuse or dependence and externalizing problems as adults.

Some researchers believe that corporal punishment actually works against its objective (normally obedience), since children will not voluntarily obey an adult they do not trust."

Do you spank your kids? Would you, if you had kids?
Would society be better off if spanking/beatings were banned in the home as well?


I believe that if you resort to physical violence in disciplining your children then YOU have lost control of the situation and will install fear/resentment in them.

J.R.
futilevoice On October 07, 2016

Deleted



, Illinois
#3New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 21:27:45
@JR_Sanford Said

I believe that if you resort to physical violence in disciplining your children then YOU have lost control of the situation and will install fear/resentment in them.

J.R.


I couldn't agree more. I have personally seen what bringing up a child in a violent home can do. It's not pretty.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#4New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 21:42:12
The difference between raiseing children in a violent home and raiseing children in a home were a swat on the butt is applied once in awhile, is like night andday or apple and oranges .
Electric_Banana On January 10, 2021




, New Zealand
#5New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 21:44:56
Depends on the child and how wild they are and spankings should be just that. Problem is parents take it too far often times.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#6New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 22:07:33
If a parent never uses anything except their bare hand and never applies that hand to anything except the butt . It will never be more then a couple of swats .
If a parent becomes angry while dealing with their child , ,,it's to late,, they have already lost the 'war of wills' and need to take a time out .
Send the kid to his/her bedroom and go somewhere and start counting , and count until your no longer angry. A few times I would be close to 250 before I would be calm enough to go back and be the adult/parent in a situation dealing with one or more of my kids .
alk1975 On August 11, 2016




Jackson, Missouri
#7New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 22:14:48
I used to spank. I don't anymore for a couple of reasons. My kids have reached an age where there are other more effective punishments and I no longer agree with it. Their behavior improved tremendously after I stopped spanking.

I don't think that all spankings are violent. I don't think any spanking actually teaches a child any type of problem solving or reason for a rule, etc.

I think that the purpose of spanking (all punishments in general actually) is to get a child to obey. I think the purpose of discipline is to teach a child to make wise choices on their own so that as they become adults they are self-disciplined. Therefore, I think that in many cases, punishment and discipline are counter to each other. At this point I would choose a punishment that was as close to a natural consequence of their behavior as possible so that they learn that consequences are not arbitrary. They are related to their behavior and will happen even if a "punisher" is not readily available to punish them.

Besides research about the connection between violence and spanked children, there is also evidence that when parents rely primarily on punishment as a means of discipline, what children learn most is to avoid the punisher. They avoid the person in general, they avoid them when they want to do something that would not be approved as opposed to avoiding the behavior that would lead to punishment, and they avoid being punished by lying, concealing, and using emotional distance. That is not the relationship I want fostered in my children.

I want them to see me as a guide. A person who can help them to figure out their own messes, who can help them to think through the consequences of an action, a person that can be trusted to teach them, not just punish them.

When my son was not turning in assignments he did lose screen time, but not as a "punishment" but as a portion of a time management activity. It served as a punishment, yes, but he saw the connection and understood that it was a lesson in responsibility. That is how I want things to be between myself and my children, and it works well for me.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#8New Post! Nov 01, 2012 @ 22:38:00
I agree that the purpose of discipline is to teach a child to make wise choices .I would tell the kid " you need to quit/stop that now" if they continued then " If I have to tell you again ,I will be spanking your butt as I'm telling you" if it took 3 times then I was swatting their butt as I said "I told you to quit that" . It wasn't very often they would push the edge of the envelope . They each learned early on that if they choose to listen the first time , then it was the choice for all concerned.
I stopped spnking each of my kids when they reached the age of 7 years old. I figured if I had to use spanking at that age then I had been doing it all wrong for 7 years.
JR_Sanford On August 02, 2017




Portland (St. Johns), Oregon
#9New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 01:27:33
@white_swan53 Said

The difference between raiseing children in a violent home and raiseing children in a home were a swat on the butt is applied once in awhile, is like night andday or apple and oranges .



As long as the "swat" is not to cause pain but to get their attention.

J.R.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#10New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 01:38:36
@futilevoice Said

I couldn't agree more. I have personally seen what bringing up a child in a violent home can do. It's not pretty.



I do not think a parent who gives a light slap on the behind of a child on ocassion as punishment equals the same as child growing up in an abusive home.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#11New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 02:05:19
@white_swan53 Said

If a parent never uses anything except their bare hand and never applies that hand to anything except the butt . It will never be more then a couple of swats .



@JR_Sanford Said

As long as the "swat" is not to cause pain but to get their attention.

J.R.



When a bare hand is used a parent has no problem knowing exactly how much force or pain is being applied in the swats.


My grand dad had a theory about spanking, he pointed out that 'god , in his wisdom' made a parents hand and the childs bottom ,a perfect fit. That's proof of why the bottom is the only place a child should ever be struck and only wit the bare hand.
futilevoice On October 07, 2016

Deleted



, Illinois
#12New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 02:22:23
@DorkySupergirl Said

I do not think a parent who gives a light slap on the behind of a child on ocassion as punishment equals the same as child growing up in an abusive home.


I don't really see the point in doing that at all except that the parent has not found a more constructive way to discipline the child.
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#13New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 02:27:54
@futilevoice Said

I don't really see the point in doing that at all except that the parent has not found a more constructive way to discipline the child.



I have no problem that you think spanking is wrong. I just take issue, for lack of a better word, with you trying to equate a spanking here and there with a child growing up in an abusive home. A child beaten every day for no reason at all and witnessing his mother being beaten is not at all the same as a parent spanking a child once and while if the child acts up. If you would not spank a child, that is fine and if you do not think anyone should spank a child, that is fine but to compare it to a child growing up in an abusive home is an injustice to the kids who are severely beaten every day.
white_swan53 On October 07, 2020




n/a, New Mexico
#14New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 02:30:46
@DorkySupergirl Said

I do not think a parent who gives a light slap on the behind of a child on ocassion as punishment equals the same as child growing up in an abusive home.



You are 110% correct.
I have personal knowledge of this.
My siblings and myself had a step mother who thougt nothing of picking up whatever was close to hand to apply her special brand of discipline whenever one of us had done something that annoyed her. Electric cords, sticks of fire wood, a leather belt etc...
After dad divorced her , we went to live with our paternal grand parents .
The form of discipline went from beatings to swats .
DorkySupergirl On November 02, 2017




, Canada
#15New Post! Nov 02, 2012 @ 02:36:08
@white_swan53 Said

You are 110% correct.
I have personal knowledge of this.
My siblings and myself had a step mother who thougt nothing of picking up whatever was close to hand to apply her special brand of discipline whenever one of us had done something that annoyed her. Electric cords, sticks of fire wood, a leather belt etc...
After dad divorced her , we went to live with our paternal grand parents .
The form of discipline went from beatings to swats .



I was spanked two times in my entire childhood. I did not grow up in a physically abusive home. I remember exactly what I had done to get those two spankings and maybe it was harsh, maybe it could have been handled better, maybe it was the right thing to do, IDK, I do not have kids so I have no idea what I would do but I do know, its not right to equate my two spankings to a kid who regularly get the snot beaten out of him or her because daddy is a drunk and got mad they were not quiet enough.
Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>
Pages: 1 2 · >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Parenting
Tue Apr 21, 2009 @ 17:05
46 3803
New posts   Random
Fri Jan 02, 2009 @ 23:32
28 991
New posts   Kids
Tue Dec 23, 2008 @ 04:21
4 907
New posts   Poetry
Fri Aug 01, 2008 @ 15:39
0 724
New posts   Parenting
Sat Jan 08, 2011 @ 23:18
39 5032