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Divorce trauma : real or not?

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sunandsurf13 On June 29, 2009

Deleted



Sydney, Australia
#1New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 07:54:27
Are you a product of divorced parents?
Were you impacted by it?

Perhaps you have been divoreced yourself, and have children.
How do you think it impacted on you and them?

All views welcome.
PS: please, dont neg a statement just because you disagree. If you disagree, tell us why. The thread will be a lot more interesting for your POV.
treebee On April 13, 2015
Government Hooker

Moderator




London, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 08:42:20
My parents divorced when i was 8, it did impact me although at the time i didnt realise. I didnt play up or steal anything or even play up at school. I think repressing it did me some harm. I saw my parents going through a hard time and even at 8 years old i knew not to give them any more bother. It was like losing both parents because my mother kinda shunned me and acted like a single woman again and then the bond was broken. Nobody explained to me why dad had gone so i assumed he had abandoned me.

This made me very clingy with boyfriends for a while, if they went home i would need to know when i was going to see them again.

Its sad because i split from my children's dad and i knew it would impact my children too. But i realise that it was a case of damage limitation. To stay with him would cause more damage to my children than to break up with him.

I love my children so much, i cant say i regret it but i wish i had waited until i met the right man.
crankshaft On May 10, 2009

Banned



,
#3New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 14:42:03
My divorce hit me pretty hard, though I don't blame her one bit. I was gone too much, mostly working. Drinking lots. Never did get over it. Couldn't stay attached to any woman for more than a few dates.
My X is fighting cancer now, and I pray for her every day.
trustingsoul On May 07, 2009

Deleted



anywhere, Pennsylvania
#4New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 14:49:55
I've been with the same man for fifteen years, but my parent's marriage really put me off. If we were to have children I'd think about it, but that's not the issue. I want things the same as they are; we're very devoted to each other. The fact that he's asked but doesn't pressure is enough for me.
annski729 On July 24, 2016




, United States (general)
#5New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 14:56:05
My parents separated when I was about 3 and then divorced two years later, I think. I'm like Tree - at the time I didn't realize it had any impact on me. I was in a program for a couple years in elementary school that was meant to help kids cope after their parents divorce, but at the time I saw it as a waste of time. Now I'm beginning to realize that maybe it had a bit of a bigger impact on me than I ever realized. That being said, I think I would have been worse off had they stayed together.
WildChild On February 16, 2013
Perv Magnet





Southern Middle, Tennessee
#6New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 14:58:13
My parents divorced when I was ten years old. It was a very hard time for me because even though they fought all the time and it was the best thing for them it took me away from my whole family.

We lived in Alabama and my parents were both from the same area there . Both sides of my family lived within a 20 mile radius so when my Mom divorced my real dad she moved me two hours away to TN. I was moved away from all my grandparents , aunts , uncles , cousins , friends. It was just crazy.

Later on both my parents remarried and though I still can't stand my step mother , my step father was the best. I loved this man with all my heart and he showed me what unconditonal love was right up until the day he died.

I've been married and divorced and it was tough on my kids I know They've done well because no matter who I was with in my relationships I was always with my kids.

Divorce is just hard.
SimplyxComplicated On June 28, 2023




Fort Worth, Texas
#7New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 14:59:28
My parents divorced when I was 5. My mom got custody, and my father was in and out of my life, way too much. I sometimes think that it did affect me more than I think it did, and sometimes I think its just me being silly thinking that I could be affected by something that happened when I was 5 years old.
spellchick On October 02, 2012
Go away, I'm baitin'





, Oklahoma
#8New Post! Feb 27, 2009 @ 15:42:59
My parents divorced when I was almost 3. I don't remember them ever being together, but it did impact me in that were constantly fighting when my brother and I were younger. We always felt caught in the middle and like we would disappoint or hurt one if we wanted to do something with the other. When I was about 15, I finally stood up to both of them and told them to knock it off. Now they just ignore each other, even though my mom still tries for some reason to speak to my dad. He just acts as if she's not there.

I got divorced several years back when my son was 5, and I know it was hard for him. Ex and I have an agreement though that we will always be civil to each other, at least in front of our son, to minimize the impact. It was very much a conscious choice to be that way to each other because I didn't want my son growing up in the environment that I did. We're friendly and have learned to work out our disagreements maturely which is a win-win for everyone involved. I think sometimes it might be hard for my son because he sees us being friendly and he can't understand why we aren't still married.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#9New Post! Mar 18, 2009 @ 01:19:44
@sunandsurf13 Said

Are you a product of divorced parents?
Were you impacted by it?

Perhaps you have been divoreced yourself, and have children.
How do you think it impacted on you and them?

All views welcome.
PS: please, dont neg a statement just because you disagree. If you disagree, tell us why. The thread will be a lot more interesting for your POV.


Yes, my parents are nto yet divorced, but separated about 3 years ago. It's not the first time they've done so for a long period of time, but I think it's the last.

No. Of course it'd be nice to have my dad back home and sober, but s*** happens, both of my parents love me and are at least civil with each other.

Most of the time, the 40 year olds in therapy, b****ing about their parents' divorce, are overly-dramatic.
It's not the end of the world.

My dad was sometimes physically abusive to my mom and I watched it right in front of me. I found my dad's heoine needle and his bong when I was 8 or 9.

Things are far different now with our family now, but like I said s*** happens, life goes on, put on your big kid pants and get over it.
iwannano On May 19, 2010
Mountain William


Deleted



,
#10New Post! Mar 19, 2009 @ 01:11:38
My dad was working on his 6th divorce when he passed away. The first divorce was before I was a year old . All the marriages after the first one were to women that had from 3 to 5 kids of their own. The impact of dads divorces was that my 2 brothers and me had a very wierd childhood. between the last divorce and the next marrige we lived with our grandparents from dads side.If it hadn't been for those two people in our lives , it's scary to think what would of happened to the 3 of us.
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