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chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#1New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 17:25:07
I would like to know when guidelines were created for custodial & non-custodial parents, did those who designed the rules really know what they were doing?? Do judges really hear what is being said in the divorce hearings? When one parent demonstrates real concern for the child well being...and is not showing or saying that visitation should be taken away... doesn't the judge listen closely? I mean when the child is very young - under the age of 3/4 - I would think it is the duty of the judge/court to really pay attention to all testimonies that is given before rendering a decision that could impact a child.
chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#2New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 17:26:33
gotta go to work now... but i am very interested in hearing anyone/everyones thoughts on this topic... have a good day everyone
garfunkel On December 29, 2008
my beautiful rescue


Deleted



Sydney, Australia
#3New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 22:51:25
I think the child should have equal visitation rights with both parents unless the childs well-being is compromised or being abused with one.
angelcake On January 18, 2016
Say whaaa





Eastleigh, United Kingdom
#4New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 22:53:54
@garfunkel Said
I think the child should have equal visitation rights with both parents unless the childs well-being is compromised or being abused with one.


or if work commitments from one parent stop them being able to have joint custody of the child. i mean if one works shifts due to being a policeman or something, then it might not be possible to split it 50/50 obviously if they changed out of shift work it should be reviewed.
donna_j On January 29, 2008




Adelaide, Australia
#5New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 23:12:46
I think in most cases, the judges do have the child's best interests at heart.

I don't agree with a child being in 50/50 care with both parents. I think in most cases, it would disrupt their routine and schooling and, like angelcake said, both parents would have to sort out their work schedule which is not always viable.
angelcake On January 18, 2016
Say whaaa





Eastleigh, United Kingdom
#6New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 23:16:55
@donna_j Said
I think in most cases, the judges do have the child's best interests at heart.

I don't agree with a child being in 50/50 care with both parents. I think in most cases, it would disrupt their routine and schooling and, like angelcake said, both parents would have to sort out their work schedule which is not always viable.


i think 50/50 could work once the child got to school age and both parents decided on a standard routine and stuck to it, eg homework times, and bed times. as well as ground rules and boundries. It would take work on both sides, but if that's what was decided then as long as both parents take into consideration they're shaping another human being and that the child is not a possesion then it's cool. They put the hard work in the they reap the rewards! oh and it would have to be set days, theres no way you can just pass a child around it's too disruptive for them.
donna_j On January 29, 2008




Adelaide, Australia
#7New Post! Nov 01, 2007 @ 23:50:45
@angelcake Said
i think 50/50 could work once the child got to school age and both parents decided on a standard routine and stuck to it, eg homework times, and bed times. as well as ground rules and boundries. It would take work on both sides, but if that's what was decided then as long as both parents take into consideration they're shaping another human being and that the child is not a possesion then it's cool. They put the hard work in the they reap the rewards! oh and it would have to be set days, theres no way you can just pass a child around it's too disruptive for them.


True - I guess it could work in a good failed relationship lol. It would have to be an agreement between the two parents and it would have to be set in stone. Both parents would also have to live relatively close to the school.

I find that most people who separate are sort of out to get the other parent, so I think in a lot of cases it wouldnt work and just cause extra stress for the kids.
chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#8New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 02:38:45
our child is a young toddler... no where near school age. i have no prob having the father bond w/ the child. what i do have a prob w/ is overnite stays... the ex is a porn addict. the judge was once someone who prosecuted child molesters & such... yet he is saying that it is okay for the father to have overnite stays w/ the child. i don't agree w/ this cuz he has that crap in the home (his bedroom) & the child will be sleeping in his bed for a time period... and even if the child has his own room - waking up in the middle of the nite looking for me & (possibly) walking into the father doing his thing (spanking his monkey) & watching porn can be detremental to the child!...i have proven in court w/ physical evidence that he is NOT an occasional viewer of porn like the ex claims...
chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#9New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 02:41:22
and ontop of it all... the child is going from a visitation schedule which was once a day during the wk for 3 hrs & alternating wks 4 hr per day... to now, according to the parenting guidelines, 10 hrs per day on the alternating wkends (the wk day 3hrs is the same)... tell me jumping from 8 hrs total on alternating wkends to 20 hrs total on alternating wkends is not going to disrupt our childs routine.
mark_is_god On June 26, 2015




antrim, Ireland
#10New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 02:42:47
how do you prove that someone is or is not a "occasional" viewer of porn.
chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#11New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 02:44:16
i have given - freely - extra time for the ex to spend w/ our child... and i have been very considerate when he wants to switch times cuz his family flies in... yet i have not asked for anything except for him to put our childs needs first. i WANT the child & father to bond - no question there & God knows this to be true in my heart & soul. i am very reluctant about the porn & overnite stay... am i being foolish?
chuckie On February 13, 2010




NoWhereVille,
#12New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 02:46:15
when someone has a very devoted & loving partner (and by no means am i in any way ugly/fugly) who likes sex just as much as he does; yet feels after sex & getting off w/ his partner has to go get off again w/ porn immeidately after the sex that is... and has to watch porn everyday @ work & home... what do u call it...occasional... BS - think NOT
donna_j On January 29, 2008




Adelaide, Australia
#14New Post! Nov 02, 2007 @ 05:33:15
I hope he won't leave porn lying around, I really do. Children should not be sexualised or see sexual images before they are emotionally ready. It can cause great intimacy problems in later life.

Have you had a serious chat with the ex? Maybe you could ask him to lock his porn away and only look at it when your child is with you. If he says he can't, well that sounds like an addiction. You don't have to look at it a million times a day to be an addict. Being addicted means that you need to look/do it to feel better.
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