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Declining to accept hospitality and impromptu visits

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Conflict On July 26, 2020




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#1New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 10:38:56
I am experiencing something very funny in my life. For the past three years, I have made a friend who is the nicest person you could ever meet and she has been a source of inspiration for both my mother and I. However, there is one thing she never does, which seperates her from many other people we have met...

She doesn´t accept tea or coffee from us. We have offered it, but not once, on no occasion, has she ever said yes. One time, we went out to eat with a relative of hers. Said relative ate with us, but our friend didn´t. She had nothing at all.

Also, she tends to drop by our flat without calling us first. Occasionally, she does call to say she is coming, but such instances have been rare.

Could anyone here please explain why my friend is behaving this way?
Erimitus On about 21 hours ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#2New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 12:13:15
@Conflict Said

I am experiencing something very funny in my life. For the past three years, I have made a friend who is the nicest person you could ever meet and she has been a source of inspiration for both my mother and I. However, there is one thing she never does, which seperates her from many other people we have met...

She doesn´t accept tea or coffee from us. We have offered it, but not once, on no occasion, has she ever said yes. One time, we went out to eat with a relative of hers. Said relative ate with us, but our friend didn´t. She had nothing at all.

Also, she tends to drop by our flat without calling us first. Occasionally, she does call to say she is coming, but such instances have been rare.

Could anyone here please explain why my friend is behaving this way?


Programming
mrmhead On about 9 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#3New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 12:49:46
Eating: Medical condition / strict diet
Why not ask her? Or could you pick up any clues from conversations?
"I was at my Gastroenterologist the other day...."

Stopping by: Although it is polite to call ahead, some people just don't.
Just like some people tend to just walk into others' (friends) houses without knocking.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#4New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 15:23:19
it look and sound weird, it has happen and family off and on over years in my life. somewhat normal behavior.

it is a form of proper manners, that parents teach their children. it is a little rude for unexpective visits without warning. but, usually, you put with it to be polite.

she be alone or really enjoy your and your mother's company. you, when it's time, she been to much for you handle, that's time, tell her to take a hike.
chaski On about 11 hours ago
Stalker





Tree at Floydgirrl's Window,
#5New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 15:46:31
She's either a CIA agent or a Deep State agent stalking you...


{Sorry... joking... couldn't resist. }
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#6New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 16:36:28
I wonder if she is bolemic or the like because if she ate she would "have" to follow that ideal & being "out" away from home would hardly be convienient. Have you actually been inside her house? Perhaps she does not want you to see it for some reason? I would just ask why does she not eat or drink or before doing that ask her where/what does she like to eat etc. If you were to take her there & she still eats nothing then unless its a financial problem (she cannot afford it) then I would think you may well see something of the problem. I can only hope it gets better.
mrmhead On about 9 hours ago




NE, Ohio
#7New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 16:52:51
Maybe she has really bad eating habits

Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#8New Post! Jan 31, 2018 @ 16:55:24
I did not know my picture was out there!!!
Conflict On July 26, 2020




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#9New Post! Feb 01, 2018 @ 20:13:06
@Komentenmelodie Said

I wonder if she is bolemic or the like because if she ate she would "have" to follow that ideal & being "out" away from home would hardly be convienient. Have you actually been inside her house? Perhaps she does not want you to see it for some reason? I would just ask why does she not eat or drink or before doing that ask her where/what does she like to eat etc. If you were to take her there & she still eats nothing then unless its a financial problem (she cannot afford it) then I would think you may well see something of the problem. I can only hope it gets better.


My friend is a 1st generation immigrant, not born in the country she moved to, for those who want to know what I mean. She grew up in a poor home without electricity in Africa and came to Spain about seven years ago. She began working at a hospital as an auxiliary and then became a social worker.

No one could be kinder than her, which makes the issue I have raised even more perplexing. I was hoping to understand it better.
Erimitus On about 21 hours ago




The mind of God, Antarctica
#10New Post! Feb 01, 2018 @ 21:46:55
@Conflict Said

My friend is a 1st generation immigrant, not born in the country she moved to, for those who want to know what I mean. She grew up in a poor home without electricity in Africa and came to Spain about seven years ago. She began working at a hospital as an auxiliary and then became a social worker.

No one could be kinder than her, which makes the issue I have raised even more perplexing. I was hoping to understand it better.


Ahhh... Maybe it is a cultural thing.
twilitezone911 On March 25, 2019




Saint Louis, Missouri
#11New Post! Feb 02, 2018 @ 00:05:14
@Conflict Said

My friend is a 1st generation immigrant, not born in the country she moved to, for those who want to know what I mean. She grew up in a poor home without electricity in Africa and came to Spain about seven years ago. She began working at a hospital as an auxiliary and then became a social worker.

No one could be kinder than her, which makes the issue I have raised even more perplexing. I was hoping to understand it better.



I don't think you need worry about her. you put more into this, you should. she out of her element, that only explain, I come up with her. with the jobs that she had, she learning to adapted to her environment.

obviously, she is ambitious to climb the ladder to get ahead. she learning the culture around her, in her own way.

she doing fine. just be patient. maybe, you would more comfortable, she teach her culture to you, and you teach more of your culture to her.
Conflict On July 26, 2020




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#12New Post! Feb 02, 2018 @ 21:32:16
@Erimitus Said

Ahhh... Maybe it is a cultural thing.


Please explain.
Conflict On July 26, 2020




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#13New Post! Feb 08, 2018 @ 19:20:53
Well, the saying that lightning strikes twice should be changed to again and again. The other day, my friend came round and when my mother offered her a cup of coffee, she said no thank you.

What is going on? Once, the result of an illness, twice, stress, but three times and more? Why?
Komentenmelodie On May 25, 2018




,
#14New Post! Feb 08, 2018 @ 20:21:27
Perhaps she does not like coffee?? Ask her what she would like to drink? Alternatively just ask her why she never wants anything, it would get me peeved never to get any further with this!!
Conflict On July 26, 2020




Alcalá de Henares, Spain
#15New Post! Feb 11, 2018 @ 10:43:41
@Komentenmelodie Said

Perhaps she does not like coffee?? Ask her what she would like to drink? Alternatively just ask her why she never wants anything, it would get me peeved never to get any further with this!!


My mother has asked our friend to call before she comes more than once. She keeps saying she will, but has only done it once every now and then for the past three years. Here's a little info on her.

She was one of five children who grew up in a home without water or electricity. Her father didn't have regular employment and the mother had to do the lion's share of the work. She and her siblings had to do their homework in the streets using the street lamps to give them light. She came to Spain 14 years ago without documentation and worked as an auxiliary at a hospital before becoming a social worker.

With this in mind, could someone please shed some light on why she prefers not to contact us before dropping by?
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