The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums: Religion & Philosophy:
Religion

Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for not killing me before I had a chance to accept you

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
Pages: 1 2 3 · >>
bibie On November 18, 2010

Banned



Waxhaw, Ohio
#1New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:18:49
my
Personal Savior.

I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.

I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the
sadistic
hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or
waiver in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax
of Jesus' anointed.

Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican? and a Real
American?. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.

I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy
Ghost's subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early
Republican
prophets looked on.

I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
God.
TenaciousDave On August 11, 2016
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#2New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:21:01
@bibie Said

my
Personal Savior.

I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.

I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the
sadistic
hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or
waiver in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax
of Jesus' anointed.

Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican? and a Real
American?. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.

I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy
Ghost's subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early
Republican
prophets looked on.

I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
God.


Because we all know that God is a republican.
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#3New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:22:08
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!
TenaciousDave On August 11, 2016
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#4New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:23:19
@BozieFozie Said

What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way
HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!!



Joan Osbourne
davii On January 14, 2013
I'm Awesome


Deleted



London, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:23:54
Oh no...she's started singing
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#6New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:24:20
@TenaciousDave Said

Joan Osbourne


TenaciousDave On August 11, 2016
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#7New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:24:31
@davii Said

Oh no...she's started singing



Run away.
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#8New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:25:02
davii On January 14, 2013
I'm Awesome


Deleted



London, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:25:02
@TenaciousDave Said

Because we all know that God is a republican.


...and Jebus was born in America, yadda yadda
butthurt On April 04, 2011




, Belarus
#10New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:27:42
@bibie Said

my
Personal Savior.

I believe that Liberals and Democrats are under the control of Satan
and his sneering minions, the educated and the well-traveled.

I do not want to be tossed into the incandescent flames of the
sadistic
hell you created for those who did not vote for George W. Bush or
waiver in their faith by questioning the honesty, competence or syntax
of Jesus' anointed.

Please Lord Jesus, I want to become a True Republican? and a Real
American?. I accept you as my Lord and Savior.

I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day and floated
off to your invisible, exquisitely decorated mansion in the Holy
Ghost's subdivision in the clouds while an audience of early
Republican
prophets looked on.

I believe that in voting Republican, I am doing the implacable will of
God.

God f***ing fails!!!

He has unimaginable brain power and creates the universe, laws of physics and life forms. But when he creates his son Jesus, all that f***er can do is change water to wine
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#11New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:28:56
@butthurt Said

God f***ing fails!!!

He has unimaginable brain power and creates the universe, laws of physics and life forms. But when he creates his son Jesus, all that f***er can do is change water to wine




LuckyCharms On January 22, 2020
Magically Delicious





,
#12New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:30:01
You're not really much of a Christian.
TenaciousDave On August 11, 2016
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#13New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:31:26
@davii Said

...and Jebus was born in America, yadda yadda



I though Jesus was a Canadian?
BozieFozie On August 08, 2017
Life's a Beach





Paradise, Florida
#14New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:32:07
Jesus is Lebanese. He likes girls.
TenaciousDave On August 11, 2016
The Anus Of Satan





Jeffrey Dahmer's Lunchbox,
#15New Post! Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:32:10
@LuckyCharms Said

You're not really much of a Christian.



Most Christians aren't.
Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>
Pages: 1 2 3 · >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Random
Fri Mar 02, 2012 @ 02:56
2 423
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Mon Feb 27, 2012 @ 07:01
100 7140
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Sun Dec 11, 2011 @ 01:05
195 9836
New posts   Religion & Philosophy
Sun Sep 04, 2011 @ 12:08
2 520
New posts   Conspiracies
Fri Sep 24, 2010 @ 21:18
1 1476