Daft and meaningless sentences

Let's make up sentences that mean nothing but might be funny. Always keep your ducks under control: you can never have too many ducks but they shouldn't be allowed to run riot.

pissed much?

Actually I'm more or less sober, but I'm bored rigid.

At the end of the day yeah right innit Craig...cool

After a fashion, up to a point, in a manner of speaking.....yeah, it's cool.

Between 0 and giraffes, new effects manage infinite topics.

Mind the curve of the arc over there because the pattern on the giraffes will migrate to next week.

Healthy Scottish diets...

What the helicopter??

The beginning has ended. Bring on the middle, maestro.

Once upon a time, time wanted to be on top for once.

This seems like a good place for a story that appeared in my football team's end of season fanzine one year:

Once upon a time there was a fish called Colin who ate nuts when he drove his washing machine to his mum's garden. He was always in trouble because his granny liked tomatoes grown in the kitchen. When his legs fell off a bicycle his head landed first. This was an unhappy wedding as his team lost 3-0, so he paid the pizza man and ate his dog. Once he finished his exams he gave up being a pensioner and farted several clouds of pineapple which made him stand on a coat hanger.

I'm so confused.

Nothing is making sense therefore everything does, at least inside the kettle of my second head.

Smiling at flowers makes squirrels blink excessively.