Could you leave them behind?

My folks moved to another country when I was 18-19, leaving behind myself, my sister 21 and my brother, 27.
At the time it never really occured to me to 'mind'. I guess like a lot of teenagers I was glad of the break of constant scrutiny. My sister however feels a strong sense of abandonment.

I was thinking about it just a little while ago. I actually now know loads of parent's who have done this.

Could you do it, leave your 'kids' behind and move to another country? Obviously I say kids but I mean when they are older. Could you cope with not seeing your grandkids grow up?

What about if it was your parents.. would you mind or support their decision?

No, no a thousand times no!

No being honest I couldnt....did consider moving 250 miles away from Family and Friends once but couldnt do that either

The only time I resent it is when they visit and try to control my life. the way I see it is that I have had to support myself in every way all my adult life and they kinda lost the right to interfere when they buggered off!

The point is at what age do you leave your kids to try fend for themselves? Fair enough, they should be there in case of emergency, but you have to kind of let go at some point

I do tend to agree with you, that was always my stance when my sister would say anything. I don't know now though. Being a parent myself I couldn't put that much distance between me and my child

That may sound heartless or cruel, but I am not meaning like just forget about them or don't give them advice or anything when they are in need, by that I mean, just make sure the presence is there

I don't see the big deal. You were all adults, so it's not as if they were abandoning you. I don't have any kids. . . .I imagine it would be tough to leave them, but at the end of the day, you have to live your life for yourself, not other people.

I've no idea tbh, I'll answer properly in approx 18 years

My parents never left the Country but may as well have for all the support they gave.

I guess it depends on how well or how close the family really is. As an adult I would think that parents or children make decisions to move on a constant basis.

So what I'm trying to say is that to me it's no different than if your adult child decided to leave the country. We may not like it but it's really not our choice and shouldn't resent them for it. Miss them? Yes! But not resent them for they didn't really leave and neglect their children if their children are adults. My opinion only of course. To each their own.

I think it all depends on how close your family is....My family are very close we have always relied on each other and always will.

If my parents left the country I would be gutted, but i would respect there decision. When we leave the nest it gives our parent there lives back and what they decide to do with there time should be up to them.

I myself would never do that, I wanted kids, I will always be there for them as I am sure they will be there for me in my old age. I really couldn't miss any future grandchildren growing up, that's the good bit. You can wind them up and give them back

Great minds

I did precisely that. I didn't leave the country, just moved 3000 odd miles across it, north.
They had left home at 18+, and I hated the place we all lived, I had trained them thoroughly to be independent and they were doing quite well, so I took off for pastures new, and neither they nor I regret it. We keep in regular contact via phone and webcam, and the rest of the family is there if they need anything. They say it's great, they can be themselves, never having to be considered "my kids" at family functions, but stand-alone reps of us, if that makes any sense?, not having me looking over their shoulders etc, it gives them a freedom of mind and spirit they otherwise wouldn't have had.
It certainly leaves me free to enjoy what's left of my life, in a place and way that I couldn't have found there.

Kay, My first wife and I divorced after 16 years of marriage. She moved back to Brazil and left me with my son. Basically, when she divorced me, she divorced her son too. I think it is selfish and he has suffered greatly. The good news is, he loves his Dad and I make sure to compensate for the loss of his Mother.
She calls him sometimes, and she e-mails me and tells me what I need to do for him ( he's now 23). I have the advantage to tell her I think I know what is best for him since I am the one that has been in life.

I don't see how parents can leave the children. My parents had moved 500 miles away from us kids and I only got to see them once a year, or every other year. They are both dead now and I think about the years I missed.
I know others will disagree and the word selfish may be a little strong, but we are only on the earth for a short period and what we lose in life can never be replaced.

My ex, the alleged "mother", was like that, she took off with her new husband when the kids were only 18mths, 3yrs, and 11yrs, and apart from one one hour visit 8yrs later, was never seen or heard from again. She paid no maintenance, gave no presents, and never phoned. She is an accountant, with a high position in a major firm, but technically earns and owns nothing! No bloke could get away with it, but the Family Services won't touch a woman! My daughter, the youngest, always dreamed of finding her mother, and getting to know her. I had never bagged their mother, why hurt them more than she already had, so neither she nor I expected what happened, the (*#%+*@^*) rejected her cruelly, and immediately changed her phone number to a new silent one! It broke my girls heart, and if I ever come down with a terminal disease, that woman had better watch out, I'll be coming to have words with her!
Sure says a lot about my choices in women though!
Luckily, all the other women in my daughters life have been loving, supportive, involved people, a far better role-model, and my girl wants kids, so she can be a better mum than hers, just like I did with my own father, lol, genetic? I wonder?