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Confused feelings for a Friend

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cm91 On March 12, 2014




base of the mountains,
#1New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:30:27
Hello, Im new here, but this is why Im here. Im a Guy, and have a Friend whos a Girl..... We get along great, and Shes so adorable and sweet. I honestly didnt have feelings romantically for Her for the longest, but something keeps nagging at Me! I keep thinking about her. But, its not a sexual attraction. She is a very attractive girl, but not the hotest by means.. There is something I cannot put My finger on that makes Me really drawn to Her. Its a complex situation. No, She isnt seeing my best friend, and NO she isnt dating anyone. I dont understand these feelings atall. I havent had em before... She IS A DEAR FRIEND. We havent dated, or kissed, or nothing. I dont understand WHY I think of Her so much. Where is it coming from? Im so cunfused. Normally these things are easy. I can tell if I like someone romantically or not, but this is too complex!

What do you make of it? Anyone ever experienced this???

thanks, cm
angelcake On January 18, 2016
Say whaaa





Eastleigh, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:31:23
You might just really like her as a friend.
shadowy On March 20, 2014




Glasgow, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:32:39
Nah you fancy her, nobody thinks about a friend all the time. It doesn't matter how attractive someone is, once you get to know someone the ugliest person can look beautiful and the hottest person can look like a troll.
mousebox On February 04, 2022




Tickle Harbour, Canada
#4New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:37:41
Chemistry has finally kicked in ... go with the flow!
angelcake On January 18, 2016
Say whaaa





Eastleigh, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:38:48
I still say he might just really like her as a friend, you can confuse the feeling of being romantically drawn to someone as being drawn in for a close friend.
calonso On January 16, 2014




Orlando, Florida
#6New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 21:50:45
You can't help but admire a beautiful, wonderful person. I'll put it quite simply. You love her. I have friends that I think of often and the love is deeper than family love, or even romantic love, which is not the deepest love by the way. I'm in love with some friends on this very site. But that doesn't mean you have to change anything, or take the "next step" or anything like that. What you have with her seems to be a very beautiful thing just let it go where it may. I wouldn't suggest a romantic involvment just yet, those things have a habit of hurting friendships. You two would have to be certain that's what you want to do, and you have to agree that sometimes these things just don't work out and that you shouldn't loose your awesome frienship no matter what.
cm91 On March 12, 2014




base of the mountains,
#7New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 22:15:26
I like what Im reading... this is what I need! Support and thoughts and opinions to help clear the thoughts and feelings! thank You all. Keep em coming! Maybe I do... love Her.......
cm91 On March 12, 2014




base of the mountains,
#8New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 22:18:05
Oh, and rather it be in friend way or romantic way.. THAT is what I gotta figure out next!
calonso On January 16, 2014




Orlando, Florida
#9New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 22:25:45
@cm91 Said
Oh, and rather it be in friend way or romantic way.. THAT is what I gotta figure out next!


you know that you love her in a friend way ofcourse and you always will, even if you get romantically involved. But do you fantasize being bf and gf? Can you see your first date, kiss, prom or whatever you kids do these days? (I'm not that old but I talk like it don't I?) But you won't really know the romantic part until you go through with it. And the only advice i could give on that note is to tred lightly on that subject, the last thing you want to do is loose her altoghether, and misplaced romanticism (infatuation, i now you've heard it before) can do that.
jeanettesianrachel On September 16, 2016




Medway, United Kingdom
#10New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 22:28:19
my hubby and i loved each other as friends for a while and then i fell in love with him,it didnt feel much different but a few months later when he said he felt the same,its like getting a big green go light,so if you have feelings like shes so beautiful,i couldnt live without her and start day dreaming about her its love,love,if its not like that its love of a friend.
littlebear On May 02, 2008

Deleted



, Canada
#11New Post! Apr 13, 2008 @ 22:41:32
Ha ha ha it's got ya. If you cannot pinpoint exactly what you like about a person but you like that person as much as you're saying, then that is the perfect example of LOVE for them, not because she's got a nice butt, or a nice body but all around and cannot be pinpointed. That said as previously stated tread very lightly, don't rush anything take the time to find out exactly how YOU feel first, for instance hypothetically. Let's say tomorrow she called you up and told you she met this really nice guy and she wanted to go out with him, how would you feel?? find out where you're at then proceed with caution.JMO Good Luck.
cm91 On March 12, 2014




base of the mountains,
#12New Post! Apr 14, 2008 @ 00:22:14
Thank You all sooooo much. I feel better now, having talked about this, than I have for the past few month (yeah.... I think its been almost 6 months) since these feelings started surfacing.

I talked to Her (we will call her "K" for simplicity's sake, ok?) earlier, because I have to go away for an undetermined amount of time, starting tomorrow due to some health issues I have. And I wanted to make Sure and chat before I left. I had a sense of urgency to make sure I tied that loose end before I left. Things seem great. I can describe Our friendship a bit here:

We have what K and I call a "Circle of friends" Its us and a few other close pals, and We are all very close and supportive of one another. Its very nice. Ive been in the circle longer than all, especially K, whom is the newest member. We are a group of people who have simular issues with depressions and such, you get the pic? And We all talk often, so we make great Friends Well, K isnt quite as "open" as the rest of them..... except with Me, it seems. I have spent more time with Her, and it seems to be paying off in that We are becoming ever closer pals. I havent EVER EVER even hinted at being romantically interested in Her. Ive told Her how adorable She is, for sure. But this is a normal compliment. Though I have alot of meaning behind it. She deffinatly talks to Me more than with the others. She is a short reply type person. Never elaborates much You know? Answers are short and sweet, yes or no, ect. But I seem to be able to get whole sentences out of Her, even paragraphs LOL! It makes one of My best Friends a bit jelous, so I have to be carefull about what She divulgaes to Me to the rest of the circle. PLUS Id NEVER betray trust. She hasnt asked Me not to tell anything We've talked of, but as She is obviously a quiet type, I think it best I keep what She shares between Us. Dont You? Plus I see it, Her very WORDS as prescious little gifts..... OMG I sound so dorky. But She is just such a wonderful person! I do... I love Her. That feels good to say.

Do I fantasize about Us dating, kissing ect ect? Well, not really. My mind hasnt drawn out plans for She and I like that. My heart seems to be forcing the wheel on this one. Its like My mind is turning a blind eye, and My heart is pushing the ship. K and I have talked a couple of times about how long Our friendship will last. We agree that it is a "LIFE LONG" endevour. I know that I never want Her to be out of My life. Yeah, We are young to say such things, but how else are life long friends life long frineds? They have to be that way from day one LOL. In all honesty, I do not know what Id think to see Her with someone. Like if She was dating someone. My first instinct is to say "They better be good to Her,and I hope they are happy" and Yet, maybe inside I wanna be the one too. But that seems way down inside.

Im so lost and confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
calonso On January 16, 2014




Orlando, Florida
#13New Post! Apr 14, 2008 @ 00:45:39
Well then you are perfectly happy with the way things are in your relationship with her, as well you should be, you're like best friends. All you need to do is just let it be what it is. You will find that TRUE love is only strengthened by time and the stuff you will go through together. So if you have that bond now, there is no need to take it anywhere else. In other words, let's just cross that bridge when we get to it.
cm91 On March 12, 2014




base of the mountains,
#14New Post! Apr 14, 2008 @ 15:08:20
thanks calonso. I am happy with how things are now, but not "perfectly". I want Our relationship to keep growing, You know? I dont want this to stop where it is. We still need to grow closer and get to know one another even better. It takes a long time to get to know someone very very well. I really want mine and K's to be a very special friendship for Us both..... and Who knows what the future holds. I thought about Her alot since My last post here, taking in what You all said.... Its helping, and I see that I have yet to get to the level with Her Id like, friendship wise, for certain. After that, as You say, We will see what happens then.
calonso On January 16, 2014




Orlando, Florida
#15New Post! Apr 14, 2008 @ 18:25:56
You don't make a relationship grow, you LET it grow and that only happens over time and events. Maybe you could start hanging out more, go to the movies, arcade, window shop at the mall etc. Spending more time together could help things along, but you don't want to smother her unless you're sure she also wants to go in that direction. I know she's intoxicating but now that you know that you love her doesn't mean you have to overdose on her.
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