Breaking up is hard....telling others secrets

Tell her, she as the right to know, i would want to know. He should have tell her already, but if he is to chicken, to tell her, somebody else will. And it could be you. C.

Nice thread, these things are important to, peoples hapiness are at stake. C. 8)

Ok, well i just got finished telling her. She said they are mostly broken up as of today and she didnt really like who he was becoming.

I thought that was an open door to show her she was right all along.

What about the possibility that the girl will be more upset after hearing the info? She's already messed up because the relationship ended - couldn't new information that her boyfriend was a jackass make her feel even worse?

I know I'd feel worse if I knew the person I cared about didn't care too much about me. I'd also feel bad that the person lied to me so often, and I didn't notice or say anything.

I understand what you're saying. But that's how life is sometimes. It kicks you when you're down. Personally I'd rather be kicked when I'm down on the ground than kicked in the nuts standing up.

Valid, but maybe the girl wouldn't want to be kicked in the nuts at all. (That sure sounded weird.)

I'm losing myself here - - perhaps the girl wouldn't want to know the truth?

I thought about that too. But in the end its much easier getting over someone when you realize they were a total d*** and you are much better off without them.

I invited her over to just hang out for the night.....I hope she will be ok.

I hope she is okay.

That's true..it makes it much easier.

My other concern was that he told us all this stuff expecting it not to get back to her....we arent total jerks....of course Im not gonna let him lie to her.

Eh, there's a fine line between gossip and telling people something they need to
hear.

It seems like this guy needs a reality check anyway though, so I wouldn't be too
worried about how he reacts if you tell her.

Im not as worried as my bf. Its his friend we are ratting out. So I will let him deal with it.

Yeah, well fortunatly she said she appreciated us telling her so it was a worthy gamble.

what gives him the right to put you into that position?? because he is a friend...nope sorry. being a descent human being comes first.

Yeah, that it was. I'm glad it turned out well at least in that regard. No need for even more tears for the girl.

Update:

The s*** hit the fan last night. We talk to "M" and she was very appreciative that we were honest with her. We also found out that he has been lying about more than just the few things we were aware of.

He has been using Eli and I as and excuse to where he is at night. Telling his gf and even his mom that he is staying over at our place when we havent seen him in weeks.

We went to his place, he came home and we had a mini intervention.

He freaked out, Im suprised he didnt punch anyone, he is also very violent so its good we were all there.

"M" got to say her peice and so did Eli on our behalf.....then we left.

I hope she has the strength to let him go. He's a serious LOSER!!!