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Kels8786 On December 02, 2011




Montgomery,
#1New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:45:22
The man that I am seeing is black I am white. Last night my father found out that the guy have been talking about all summer is not a white boy from the suburbs but a black man from the city. He then said that I have disgraced our family and that if i pursue a relationship with him that he would kick me out of the house. He then rationalized this by saying people should keep to their own and that the bible supports this.

This obviously was a shock since both my younger siblings have children to individuals they are not in relationships with. I have no children and am very careful to prevent pregnancy. Yet me dating a responsible independent man of a different race is a black mark on our families morality.

I live in the twilight zone. I plan on visiting my man regardless of my fathers threat to remove me from his home. If he makes good on it then I will simply find another way even if it means not finishing my last year at college.

So here I will end with a question to all of you out in TFS land, has anyone else experienced this in their own family? and if so do you agree that people of different races should not be together? if so why?
......................................................................

Just wanted to update this post and let everyone know that I have not been kicked out of the house. My mother sat down with my father after he calmed down. I guess he just wasn't expecting me to date a black man, and he did what all parents tend to do and assumed the worst. Meaning he thought I was seeing a hoodlum, a gangster, a bad ass, drug dealing, inner city thug that was taking advantage of his poor little girl.

This assumption is almost laughable since Austin is a hard working, self efficient, army officer, college grad earning his masters and possibly going for his doctorate. So once my father learned a little more about who the man was... even though I've talked about him to my father before only leaving out the minute detail that he is black... my father seems to be more open and accepting to the idea.

We have not had an outright conversation about it since the fight but I have already went to visit Austin and things went smoothly.

Thank you to everyone who posted. I am glad to know that racism is something that only a few hold onto.
boobagins On August 03, 2013
SPICY HOT TAMALES





Astral Weeks, Florida
#2New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:49:42
Yes..I have. Its a double standard that gets my blood boiling.

Its like anybody outside of the my race is shameful. Add in arranged marriages and all the other hoopla that took place generations before and its even worse.

Times are changing, generations are changing...but I'm still battling those in the older generation that still think the old way is the right way.

Ahh...I don't think my parents would go as far as disowning me or something...but I know they'll always see it as a disappointment, at least my mom will.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#3New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:51:39
Why the f*** not? It's not like if you're a different race you're a different species.

Personally, Idk if I'd date interracially (unless it was Tyra Banks, I'd go lesbian for her), it's just not what I'm into.
someone_else On August 30, 2012
Not a dude.


Deleted



American Alps, Washington
#4New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:51:40
I don't know if I should or for you hun.

My white dad married my full blood Vietnamese mother and we live in NW Hickville. Obviously, I don't agree that people of different races shouldn't be together and I have no idea where the Bible would support that.

However...the Bible does say this:
Quote:
Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.


So, as far as your dad goes...screw his opinion.
TransBunny On September 20, 2011




Bunnyland, California
#5New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:53:38
I was with a black woman once, and although my family didn't object, they sure made a lot of jokes. This is a gray area for me, and I'm prob gonna sound horrible. I have no problem with people of different races being together. What I do have a problem with is the idea that one day in the distant future, after years of biracial couples and biracial children, everyone in the world is going to be the same color. Sure, I'm not going to live to see that, and maybe it isn't so bad, but I love the diversity of the world. And it's going to be such a boring world without different races. Idk, it may just be a stupid idea, but that idea scares me
magically_delicious On October 27, 2020




, California
#6New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 18:53:40
Ah yes, I remember is clearly "YOU MARRIED A MEXICAN????!!!"

and my cousin's snide remark to my mother "is her husband really Mexican?"

Gotta love retarded family.
spellchick On October 02, 2012
Go away, I'm baitin'





, Oklahoma
#7New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:04:07
My thought is...you're 24. Who cares what your dad says? Maybe it's time to move out and get your own place so he can't threaten you with that ridiculous nonsense. Chances are he won't do anything about it anyway. If you like the guy and you see a future with him, don't cut if off for your dad. He's not the one that your choices affect.
Dark_Tink On December 30, 2018
<3 Boobie <3





, Canada
#8New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:05:21
@TransBunny Said

I was with a black woman once, and although my family didn't object, they sure made a lot of jokes. This is a gray area for me, and I'm prob gonna sound horrible. I have no problem with people of different races being together. What I do have a problem with is the idea that one day in the distant future, after years of biracial couples and biracial children, everyone in the world is going to be the same color. Sure, I'm not going to live to see that, and maybe it isn't so bad, but I love the diversity of the world. And it's going to be such a boring world without different races. Idk, it may just be a stupid idea, but that idea scares me


More then likely, with all the people out there like the OP's family(since there are people like that from all races) there will still be diversity.
Kels8786 On December 02, 2011




Montgomery,
#9New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:05:35
@Kristy69 Said

Why the f*** not? It's not like if you're a different race you're a different species.

Personally, Idk if I'd date interracially (unless it was Tyra Banks, I'd go lesbian for her), it's just not what I'm into.



I do believe that a geneologist found that really all humans are of one race the skin color difference is simply a genetic code like that of eye color or hair color. So really we are not even different races lol.
Kels8786 On December 02, 2011




Montgomery,
#10New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:08:51
@spellchick Said

My thought is...you're 24. Who cares what your dad says? Maybe it's time to move out and get your own place so he can't threaten you with that ridiculous nonsense. Chances are he won't do anything about it anyway. If you like the guy and you see a future with him, don't cut if off for your dad. He's not the one that your choices affect.



I never had any plans to end it with him due to my fathers warped opinions and I don't really care about what my father deems right or wrong. But he is my father and I do care about him regardless of his craziness lol. And moving out wasn't in my plans till i was through college but I think in light of this it might be for the best.
Johnny_shade On October 28, 2011




Casper, Wyoming
#11New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:15:24
You can tell your father that the bible is outdated. If you love someone, then stick with them. Tell him to stop being a d***
spellchick On October 02, 2012
Go away, I'm baitin'





, Oklahoma
#12New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 19:16:37
@Kels8786 Said

I never had any plans to end it with him due to my fathers warped opinions and I don't really care about what my father deems right or wrong. But he is my father and I do care about him regardless of his craziness lol. And moving out wasn't in my plans till i was through college but I think in light of this it might be for the best.


I didn't mean for my comments to sound harsh. Of course you care about your dad and value his opinion but really, you can't help who you fall for.

An anecdote for you about my best friend: After her divorce, her dad told her the same thing...date a black man and you'll be out of my life forever. Well, she met a guy at work, fell in love, and they ended up moving in together. Of course, he is black. She never mentioned this fact to her dad and talked about him like she would have any other guy she was crazy about. Her brothers and sisters had tried to tell her dad he was black but he thought they were joking because she would NEVER cross something he said. When the time came for her dad and D to meet, you can imagine his shock when she showed up with a black man to a family gathering. Her dad was stunned, obviously, but he handled it with grace and they (D & her dad) now get along great.

I tell you this to say we all have preconceived notions of the way things are, even if they are way off base. All it takes is a positive experience to change a long-held view. Make sure your dad knows this man makes you happy and that you are sorry he feels the way he does, but that doesn't change how you feel about your boyfriend and it never will. He will get used to the idea and he'll come around eventually.
boobagins On August 03, 2013
SPICY HOT TAMALES





Astral Weeks, Florida
#13New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 20:01:38
@spellchick Said

I didn't mean for my comments to sound harsh. Of course you care about your dad and value his opinion but really, you can't help who you fall for.

An anecdote for you about my best friend: After her divorce, her dad told her the same thing...date a black man and you'll be out of my life forever. Well, she met a guy at work, fell in love, and they ended up moving in together. Of course, he is black. She never mentioned this fact to her dad and talked about him like she would have any other guy she was crazy about. Her brothers and sisters had tried to tell her dad he was black but he thought they were joking because she would NEVER cross something he said. When the time came for her dad and D to meet, you can imagine his shock when she showed up with a black man to a family gathering. Her dad was stunned, obviously, but he handled it with grace and they (D & her dad) now get along great.

I tell you this to say we all have preconceived notions of the way things are, even if they are way off base. All it takes is a positive experience to change a long-held view. Make sure your dad knows this man makes you happy and that you are sorry he feels the way he does, but that doesn't change how you feel about your boyfriend and it never will. He will get used to the idea and he'll come around eventually.


Quite honestly. Its not as easy as you make it seem. The just forgetting about what your parents think and doing whats right for you...well obviously. I think most people have their head on their shoulders to KNOW that. But the emotions in a subject like this is so tense and being in a situation where ITS BEEN my life.

Its not easy. Because these are your PARENTS. I'm just trying get over the fact that these are your parents that standing in your way. People who should support you no matter what. It's an extremely hurtful feeling...especially when they add threats like "get out of my house" or "i won't support you anymore."

Its hard dealing with all that.

And just like in the case you described. The daughter did what she wanted right? But the daughter did not have courage to tell her parents from the get-go that she was dating a black person. She brought him home finally after SO MANY months of living with him and even then she just sprung it her dad and decided to face the whatever her dad would do.

Its an extremely "predictable" choice for the daughter. Why? Because even I know that if I'm dating someone outside of my race, I'm not going to introduce them or tell my parents about him UNTIL I know that he is the one.

Its not so black and white as you're making it seem.
TaraLovesLiam On March 02, 2014




Portlaoise, Ireland
#14New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 23:30:19
@Kels8786 Said



So here I will end with a question to all of you out in TFS land, has anyone else experienced this in their own family? and if so do you agree that people of different races should not be together? if so why?



its mostly got to do with religion in our family but my perants dnt care about religion or race.your dad say your a disgrace well he needs to look at himself. he does like that your going out someone whos black well thats his problem.you need to sit him down and say " dad you gotta acept that im in relationship with someones whos black or lose me " i dnt think he will want to lose you.
Yodogs On December 26, 2023




Sturgis, South Dakota
#15New Post! Aug 04, 2010 @ 23:55:14
4 words, "your dad is racist"
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