@spellchick Said
I didn't mean for my comments to sound harsh. Of course you care about your dad and value his opinion but really, you can't help who you fall for.
An anecdote for you about my best friend: After her divorce, her dad told her the same thing...date a black man and you'll be out of my life forever. Well, she met a guy at work, fell in love, and they ended up moving in together. Of course, he is black. She never mentioned this fact to her dad and talked about him like she would have any other guy she was crazy about. Her brothers and sisters had tried to tell her dad he was black but he thought they were joking because she would NEVER cross something he said. When the time came for her dad and D to meet, you can imagine his shock when she showed up with a black man to a family gathering. Her dad was stunned, obviously, but he handled it with grace and they (D & her dad) now get along great.
I tell you this to say we all have preconceived notions of the way things are, even if they are way off base. All it takes is a positive experience to change a long-held view. Make sure your dad knows this man makes you happy and that you are sorry he feels the way he does, but that doesn't change how you feel about your boyfriend and it never will. He will get used to the idea and he'll come around eventually.
Quite honestly. Its not as easy as you make it seem. The just forgetting about what your parents think and doing whats right for you...well obviously. I think most people have their head on their shoulders to KNOW that. But the emotions in a subject like this is so tense and being in a situation where ITS BEEN my life.
Its not easy. Because these are your PARENTS. I'm just trying get over the fact that these are your parents that standing in your way. People who should support you no matter what. It's an extremely hurtful feeling...especially when they add threats like "get out of my house" or "i won't support you anymore."
Its hard dealing with all that.
And just like in the case you described. The daughter did what she wanted right? But the daughter did not have courage to tell her parents from the get-go that she was dating a black person. She brought him home finally after SO MANY months of living with him and even then she just sprung it her dad and decided to face the whatever her dad would do.
Its an extremely "predictable" choice for the daughter. Why? Because even I know that if I'm dating someone outside of my race, I'm not going to introduce them or tell my parents about him UNTIL I know that he is the one.
Its not so black and white as you're making it seem.