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B & Q Job application

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Silver_Lining On July 30, 2021
RIP Boobie





STOKE-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom
#1New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:29:16
B & Q JOB
APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a
75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells










They hired him because he was so
funny.....



NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy
Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I
am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will
cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief
Executive or Managing Director.



But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I
wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I?


DESIRED
SALARY: ?150,000 a year plus share options and a Tony Blair style
redundancy package.



If that's not possible, make an offer and we can
haggle.


EDUCATION: Yes.



LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management
hostility.


PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than
I'm worth.


MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My
incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it
notes.


REASON FOR LEAVING LAST POSITION: It was a
crap job.


HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:
Any.


PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30
p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.


DO YOU HAVE ANY
SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate
environment.


MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:
If I had one, would I be here?


DO YOU HAVE ANY
PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50
lbs.?:
Of what?


DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more
appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that
runs?'


HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION?:
I may already be a winner of the Reader's Digest
Timeshare Free Holiday Offer, so they tell me.


DO YOU
SMOKE?: On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!


WHAT
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:
Living in the Bahamas
with a fabulously wealthy Swedish supermodel with big tits
and who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced
bread.
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.


NEAREST
RELATIVE?: 7 miles



DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE
TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:
Oh yes,
absolutely.
x_Laura_x On July 30, 2021




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#2New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:32:00


I live well near Tunbridge Wells!
MlissaBeth On February 13, 2013
Wait for it!





Tucson, Arizona
#3New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:33:10
Wow that's great! Maybe I should try that sometime and see how it works.
sidus On January 23, 2009




UNTITLED!, United Kingdom
#4New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:34:01

haha that's great!!
Silver_Lining On July 30, 2021
RIP Boobie





STOKE-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom
#5New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:36:03
I'd employ him
x_Laura_x On July 30, 2021




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#6New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:36:51
I might print that out and take it into Tunbridge Wells to see if it's true
angel21 On May 22, 2009




Co. Durham, United Kingdom
#7New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:38:46


ive seen a similar one for MacDonalds
Silver_Lining On July 30, 2021
RIP Boobie





STOKE-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom
#8New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:44:14
@x_laura_x Said
I might print that out and take it into Tunbridge Wells to see if it's true


It probably isn't
Lord_DJ On January 13, 2009

Deleted



you really want to know =$,
#9New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:46:22
@silver_lining Said
It probably isn't


@silver_lining Said
B & Q JOB
APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a
75-year-old pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells
x_Laura_x On July 30, 2021




Nowhere, United Kingdom
#10New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:46:27
@silver_lining Said
It probably isn't


I wouldn't have thought so
Jaimie On September 18, 2016
Pushed by Boredom





St. Louis, Missouri
#11New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:46:53


I think I found my new resume.
Silver_Lining On July 30, 2021
RIP Boobie





STOKE-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom
#12New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 14:53:54
@lord_dj Said


And? That means f*** all!

I recieved it by e-mail, copied and pasted.
JGurl86 On December 18, 2011




CandyLand, Texas
#13New Post! May 12, 2008 @ 15:33:59
thatd be an awesome resume to look at
pearl_of_light4 On January 22, 2009




, Canada
#14New Post! May 14, 2008 @ 15:43:36
Kudos Good one View Image View Image
Silver_Lining On July 30, 2021
RIP Boobie





STOKE-ON-TRENT, United Kingdom
#15New Post! May 15, 2008 @ 08:11:37
@pearl_of_light4 Said
Kudos Good one


Thanks
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