As your therapist, ask me anything?

I shall be your therapist for the night. Anything you want to ask me or discuss, please do.

NB: Questions may be answered with immense vagueness and clarity won't be achieved. In fact, anything I say in return will be silly.

Go!

Why do I always get the cheap laundry detergent when the expensive stuff smells better?

Sorry, I don't trust shrinks.

Because you are trying to avoid bankruptcy in this current economic climate.

There there. I have no qualifications at all, but ush-hay on the ecret-say!

Oh, good. I thought it had something to do with father issues.

Of course not silly. It's more to do with pocket money.

Why do I rent at least 3 movies a week (often ones I have already seen) when I own over 150 movies myself?

Because some porn is worth seeing over and over again and you're too embarrassed to buy some porn straight up.

Why do i feel so bad

I always buy the Asda lavender one and it's great - my clothes smell lovely for ages after they've dried and the best bit is that it's 79p!!

Oh. In that case, why do I constantly make sculptures of Winston Churchill with my boogers?

Ew. I never rent porn. That's like borrowing a used condom.

Because you're not satisfied with your jiggy life.

1. Jiggy?
2. Its illness bad (hangover to be precise), and i want sympathy from people.