A "Neutral Message of Tidings"

This piece has been around a while, and it's always bothered me that in it's efforts to annoy nobody, it somehow surely would annoy anybody (despite it actually being a humorous piece).

I think anybody using it as a serious greeting would deserve a smack in the mouth.

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your particular choice, but with the respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion, as well as those who choose not to practice any religion at all.

Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2009, but not without due respect for the calendars of other cultures, whose contributions have made our society great, without regard to race, creed, colour, religion or sexual orientation.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not participating in or caught up in the holiday spirit.)

This would annoy anyone that would read this. I couldnt read all of it. Just couldnt. But just how the best regards for someone seem like an inslut is crazy. It seems to scartistic. I should save that somewhere. I could use that one day! =]

-Tyler

scartistic ?

for some reason it reminds me of the Judean People's Front.

I cant spell =]