A few more

@rondetto Said

I wasn't planning on going for a run today.
But the Police came out of nowhere.

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My great uncle drowned so at his funeral we had a wreath made for him in the shape of a lifebelt....well, it's what he would have wanted.

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I went to buy my wife some new lingerie.
I asked the assistant if a pair of knickers were satin, she said "No they're new."

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I often get a 147 when I play snooker.
Although there are other buses that stop outside the snooker club.

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I went to a Cannibal wedding in the Amazon jungle last week!
It was all going very well till the best man said he was going to Toast the Bride and Groom!

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I was in a restaurant yesterday and I said to the waitress "Can I ask you a question about the menu please?"
She said "The men I please has got nothing to do with you keep your nose out of my business."

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