A few funnies

@rondetto Said

I found this on the menu at the local cafe - idemx rilgl.
I asked the waitress 'What is it?'
She said 'Mixed grill'

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North Korea now have a missile that can reach New York, and if it can make it there it can make it anywhere.

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They say Grandmothers can't eat apples, but that's just a granny's myth.
There are rumours about a classical composer who also wrote cookery books, but that's just a Delius myth.

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I’m going on a round the world trip to prove the worlds flat.

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I was going to try cannibalism but I gave up when I got cold feet.

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Poor old bloke tripped and fell in the street.

At least I assume he was poor as I could only find £6 in his wallet.

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I asked a bloke how far to Kings Cross station. He said 'If you're rushin' 15 minutes'
I said 'How far if l'm Welsh?'

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A woman took her dog to the parlour for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her £50, she was outraged.
"I only pay 30 quid for my own haircut!" she said.
The groomer replied, "That may be true. But then you don't bite, do you?"

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What's the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.

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I always thought that the word ‘caesarean’ began with a S, but when I looked in the dictionary it was in the C section.

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