1st love lost love really need some advice here !

ok were do i start i just want your honest veiw on this ok really would help.....

I have been talking to my 1st love for 21 years we 1st got together at 16 we was young and we went seperate ways sadly, but we still kept talking on phone and via text.... then at 21 we tried to get together but at the time he was going through a divorce, 2nd time we did get together in our 30's and i saw him for 3 months and things were great !! but i got scared and left and couldnt tell him how i felt because i didnt feel at the time we wanted the same thing i wanted a future with him, but didnt think he wanted the same.... so i brushed him off and didnt contact him for 4 months then i realised i made a mistake and texted him telling him i was sorry and loved him still....
he told me he had met someone else and i had broke his heart cos he wanted to marry me etc so he did want the same thing as me...... well the past year i have kept in contact and it was just the odd ello now were flirting alot more, and he told me he missed me...

Lastnight i went round to his as hard as it was to see him and said it had to stop because i was still in love with him and he was with someone else....
we had a huge heart to heart and i asked him if he was happy and he asked me not to back him in a corner i asked again and kissed him and he freeked saying ok ok obviously i am not happyand he was near to tears he ran out the house saying i was killing him and i wasn't helping him, i was so upset to see him this way.. it was only in june he told me he loved me but when i asked lastnight he said i am not answering that one i said do you miss me i am not answering that either....

Anyway after he calmed down i asked why he reacted like that he said it was an emotion he hadnt felt before and it freaked him out, and to him it brought back the feeling he had for me when we were together....

Anyway i left shortly after and asked what happend now his replie was he needed to think about things he looked really upset and now i am not sure what any of that meant..... and what shale i do now ....

i went round there on my birthday in june and he kissed and told me he loved me then without freaking out so why did he freak lastnight??

and what do i do now so confuised

i reckon coz hes afraid.
hes in a relationship and probably doesnt want anyone to get hurt but someone is whether its him, you or his gf.
its scarey stuff love

guys once hurt are very hard at forgiving. by the sound of it u make him confused and guys hate being confused. he obviously still has deep feelings for you but he felt betrayed so has tried to move on even though it must be difficult. he has since been seeing someone else...you make him doubt his feelings for the person he is seeing and you bring back the emotions he feels for you. he is most probably scared of how you make him feel and doesnt want to hurt or betray the person he is with.

i dont know what you should do all i no is both of you are confused

good luck

It freaked him out because when he said it this time he felt his heart sank & rose-up repeatedly & he had palputations & cold sweats. When he said it before he THOUGHT he loved you, but now with heart, body & soul, he DOES love you. It is a beautiful feeling that when he understands it all will be walking around like a young child with a permanent smile. I have been there & would not swap that feeling for anything in any universe.

Why is she listed as a troll?

EH? Where does it say she is a troll?

I truly believe being a man myself that he is unsure about you. You don't seem to be very commited to just up and leave him like that, he would be a very stupid individual or very desperate to take you back now sry if this seems harsh but love isn't something you just throw around like a football and hope that you catch it. Although you have feelings for him and he has for you, you really screwed up and you'll be lucky to find any kind of mate if you treat them like that.

See her avatar and stats have jail bars on them?