Why is it harder to make real friends as you grow older????

....She hates time, make it stop.
When did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make them STOP!

Most of my thoughts have been stated by others. School kids have a large pool of people their own age/developmental level that they progress with over time. Adults have less time because of family and work obligations. There are differences in the developmental levels as well. Kids are more focused on learning to be social creatures, where as adults are more focused on other aspects of life, like raising families or pouring themselves into their careers. Also, the depth of friendship between adults is different than it is with kids. Kids are friends with whoever wants to play the same games as them, at least for a while. Later it starts to get more complicated, but then teens have a smaller circle of friends than young children do. Adults look for people who share more of their values, which aren't usually written across a person's forehead and can be sometimes difficult to pick out from a crowd. We tend to want to be around people who are at the same stage of life we are, going through similar things, etc. I guess what I am saying is that with adults there are more factors and that weeds out some people we would be friends with as kids.

Not as many single people around.

I don't have very many friends as an adult. And it's actually a lot easier for me to make friends now than it was when I was a kid. I had practically none then.

I do have a healthy self esteem though, which I didn't then, and I think that has a lot to do with it.

I can actually see reasons it could go either way.

It could be harder because, when we're older, we've had time to establish walls and personal boundaries. We understand that not everything is what it appears to be and so we're more cautious with who we trust.

On the other hand, we've also had more time to establish more firm "likes" and "dislikes" so we have more of a filter to use when choosing friends.

I mean, we're talking about friends, right? Not just friendly acquaintances.

That's kind of my thinking too and I can see it that way as well...as an adult for me to call someone "friend" and really mean it we have to share a measure common ground on how we live our lives or feel about the world. When people are five they call each other friends and then start associating with each other and developing those connections together because they learn them together. It's a matter of adults already having developed those attitudes about the world and other people and how they interact with each other, and kids sort of developing them as a result of interacting with each other.

That would actually explain why so few of us are still friends with our childhood friends.

I grew up in a small town (stop singing) and you sort of develop friends by proxy there. You find the person with whom you share the most interest and plod your way through school.

I had the same best friend from 1st grade all the way up until graduation. After that, our actual interests took us very far apart. In fact, we've spent just as much time being best friends as we have being not friends at all. It's not that I don't like her, I just don't have anything in common with her anymore except for our past.

It's funny you mention that because I actually ran into one of my best friends from high school last week. He lived up the street from me (we met when I was in 8th grade...he was in 7th) and he actually ended up following me to the same college where we remained very close friends. Since graduating college 16 years ago I've seen him maybe a dozen times...and running into him almost felt awkward. It was like..."HI! Good to see you....emmmm....now what?"

We did the thing where I put his number in my phone and texted him so he had my number. And now I'm assuming it will be a couple years before we have contact again.

Oh...this friend...