sigh been one of them days i havent had a good one felt wrong all day and my slideshow i made my friends well i sent it to some of them and i am not 100% sure what ive done for 3 of them to ignore me
but at this very moment in time i dont care.
I was in such a down mood a few hours ago that i sent a desprate plead to my ex boyfriend through email saying i needed to talk to him and some other stuff about how i dont need him as a boyfriend i need him as a friend at this moment in time and that i was having rather a bad time and i needed his friendship so much and that i know he doesnt like me that much at the moment but i really did need someone because i wasnt sure on what i was going to do and stuff like that. i dont feel stupid for doing it i still trust a love him but to my suprise he wrote back and re-added me on msn and that friendly feeling he gave me back he arraged to meet me because i needed to get out for a bit and the hug he gave me he wasnt joking with the hug i didnt want to let go i felt so safe and secure right there he said he had a feeling something wasnt right with me when he saw me the other day and i was constantly looking at the ground i guess mine and his friendship runs through the roots when i needed him most he came running back with a hug and a warm smile he'd seen me cry before but never like i was in that very moment i told him everything that was going on and he looked horrified that he'd abannonded me as a friend when things didnt work out between us he said he was sorry but i dont understand what he had to be sorry for? i told him what i had planned to do what id been thinking for a few days had everything planned out how it would all workout for the best and then i thought of him and i needed him more than he needed me.
I know alot of people say they feel stupid about having to run back to someone for help but in someways i am glad i did or i guess i wouldnt really be around to type this?
It was just his hug it felt like he would never let me get hurt and that he'd never let go of me i didnt want him to let go it was kind of like he was the one thing protecting me from everything ive never felt that secure before like my feelings of everything gave into that hug the warmeth he gave me i was freezing cold enough to be shivering and his hug made my heart skip a beat i just wanted to stay like that with him forever he didnt pull away either it was almost like one of the hugs that you could fall asleep in and thats what i wanted to do
ive never said ive needed someone but at that moment i needed him as i said before i wouldnt b here to type this if he hadnt emailed me back i dont know what i would have done if he hadnt answerd that email..