Friends watching your kids...I need advice!

For the last few months, my friend has been watching my daughter a couple days a week. Last week, when I came to pick her up, madeleine was all upset, and babbling and crying, and so my friend explained to me that Madeleine had thrown a small rock at the TV, so she smacked her hand lightly to "shock" her, not to hurt her. Madeleine was acting weird around her for a few days after that. So I told my friend that I don't want her to hit her for any reason because all it does is teach her to hit people if she doesn't like what they're doing. So my friend agreed not to do that again. Then today I went to drop Madeleine off, and she has her son watching Indiana Jones, he's only 4. So Madeleine immediately sits down next to him and starts watching it too. At that point, the characters were shooting each other, fist fighting, people were dying, it wasn't pretty. My daughter is only 2. So I asked my friend if she could change the movie. She went over to the TV, turned it off, and said, "No more movie, I guess you guys will just have to be bored now!" I said, "I don't mean to be a party pooper, but I just don't think it was appropriate for her age." She got all defensive, saying, "It's only PG13". I said, "It's a war movie, she's only 2!" And she said, "Well, my kids have been watching those kinds of movies since they were her age, and she's probably already seen it a few times since she's been with me anyway." Her youngest, who is 4, is obsessed with fighting. All he ever talks about it shooting bad guys, fighting, killing, etc. To an extent, boys will be boys, but 95% of what he says is about that, and I think I know why now.

So I want to take her out of my friend's house, and I found a daycare that I really like, so now the tricky part is how to tell my friend that I don't want her watching my daughter anymore? I don't want to burn bridges, but she probably will be upset and offended. How should I do this?

This is a good one. AND, very appropriate. Its hard to convince someone to raise them the way you would. And its her house, her rules. If you dont like them its ok to take her someone else.

HOWEVER.......if you want a "reason" just let her know you are trying a daycare because you want her "socialized" its really important for young kids. They learn to share, speak, and a lot of skills used in kindegarden. She shouldnt suspect a thing.

I did think of that, but she has 2 boys there who she gets along with just fine, they play together, and she likes them a lot. Maybe I should sayin something like her needing to be with kids her own age or something? Cause her two boys are 4 (almost 5) and 8...

I would just say that you feel that she will have more interaction with kids in this other facility and a more chance to grow and learn. Something along those lines.

I'd say that you've heard great things about this daycare, and that it'd be really great to get her involved in all the activities they can provide. I'd thank her a lot for all the babysitting she's done, and maybe allude that you might have her do it again in the future.
But if you're not comfortable with her, then don't.
If you want to be really honest, I guess you could tell her something like her two boys are different personalties than your daughter, and you really feel like you're raising your kids along different paths or something.

I think that daycare is a good idea for her...but it does seem like most 3 and 4 year old boys are obsessed with fighting, and go through phases where they turn everything into pretend weapons.

You did say that you really like the daycare though, that should be all the explanation you need. I hope it all works out well.

I suppose you could tell her that you both have different ideas on how to raise children? That you appreciated her taking care of them but you think it would be better if they went to Day care instead.. After all they are your children..

I had a similar situation, i would advise you to tell your freind that she is a very good freind to you and your child and in order to keep it the relationship that way then you have decided to put your child into day care. Thank her for all her help.

Be absolute about your decision though, tell her in a way that makes it clear you have already decided.

It also means your child has different kinds of interaction and will get her equipped for kintergarden.

be honest, truth hurts but the only way to get out of that situation is honesty.