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Alcohol Warning Labels

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paramour On July 30, 2014




Purgatory Beach,
#1New Post! Mar 06, 2006 @ 14:48:26
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe ex-lovers are dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alochol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster, and better looking than most people.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

EDIT: To add additional warnings!

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember).

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cuase you to believe you are invisible.

-- WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
bendover On November 25, 2007

Deleted



Muff, Ireland
#2New Post! Mar 06, 2006 @ 14:50:38
Or all of the above
natasha_masson On October 31, 2012

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Arbroath, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Mar 06, 2006 @ 14:50:50
Lol!! Very good! And very true!!
bendover On November 25, 2007

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Muff, Ireland
#4New Post! Mar 06, 2006 @ 14:52:27
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make some other people appear beautiful.
lupinstar On April 16, 2023




Wigmore, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Mar 06, 2006 @ 15:10:45
He he he, i think ive been ignoring many of thes warning for years.
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