My wife

My wife said: "When I'm gone, you won't find another like me."
I said: "What makes you think I'd want another like you."

My wife said that we don't spend enough time together, so I had the football channel put on the tv in the kitchen.

this above remind me this:

a couple walking down a dark alley. all sudden, a man pop up in front of them. it was a robber. the robber said to the man, " your money or your wife? "

few minutes ago by, the robber said again to the man, " your money or your wife? "the man said to the robber, " give me more few minutes, I am still thinking about it! "