Did She Flake On Me

So I have barely spoken to any of my friends from Old Navy since I left. I saw a few of them in the past few weeks and been speaking to one a few times via snapchat. We’ve been trying to hang out for a while. We made a plan to meet today around 12. When I was ready to meet with her, she end up cancelling on me. She told me she had to meet with her professor so she could take part in her research and today was the only day to meet with her. Not gonna be able to reschedule since she leaves tomorrow. Most likely she could be telling the truth, but I’m wondering if she flaked on me.

I had a friend who once told me that:

"If people want to see you, they will make the time. Friends make the time. People that don't make the time can make excuses, but the bottom line is that they didn't make the time because it wasn't important to them...they are not your friends."

(Obviously there are emergency situations that over ride the above.)

This friend of mine also said to me:

"Friends lift you up. Anyone who does not lift you up is not your friend. You should only spend your time (outside of things like work/public service/volunteerism) on friends.

Not sure if any of that is valuable, but maybe worth consideration.

Do not allow yourself to make someone a priority who makes you an option.

Her loss not yours

A flake may have mental health issuers.

A flake is not necessarily a bad person.

…and now (as usual) I will expatiate. (I learned the word expatiate and do not get the opportunity to use it much)

One thesis is that a persons behavior patterns are (to a considerable extent) scripted. The script, bequeathed by parents, is inherent, written in DNA, and the result of millennia of evolution. There is no possibility of deviation except maybe with the use of drugs or behavior modification therapy (e.g., Clockwork Orange).

There is also (of course) free will. The script (that may not be the correct word) …the script is like the hand that is dealt in a card game. How the cards in the hand are played is the behavior patterns exhibited.

And (of course) how a hand is played is programmed (to a considerable extent) by parents at first and then society in general (I believe that it is called imprinting). Free will (in my experience) is an option that is seldom chosen. We (well maybe not you but at least I am) compelled to respond to situations in a way that I have been programmed to. Alas…

The behavior patterns of a flake seem (to me) to be self defeating but OCD’s (in many cases) cannot help behaving as they do.

Anyway, you (CPat) are a psychology student. What do you think?

I am stating think that it is possible that she told me the truth. She used the nickname that she gave me. She called me boo. It may still stay in the back of my mind that she decided to flake due to other reasons.

1: Maybe she misinterpreted our conversations and had an expectation she did not want to meet.

2: She decided to go to lunch with someone else and didn’t want to tell me.

3: Possible she caught feelings for me and it scared her a bit (this is the least likely to occur)

When you find the right person you won't have these questions
They'll usually return your call or even be in touch with you before you manage to try and contact them

I remember your age; I was desperate to find long-term company I could rely on but I was so desperate that I was attaching myself to any little slobbering groblin that would wink at me and then cry for days to my friends when my prospects wandered off following a long trail of shiny objects.

My friend would say 'Why do you call me up every day to cry about that person you were dating who looked and acted like a fat little angry man in drag as if it were the best and only thing that god will ever be able to muster? Are you staging this dilemma to piss me off??'

Below everything you just need stable affectionate company so personalities should be seriously considered and not just shrugged off as something easily tolerable which they'll eventually overcome when they mature a bit more.

But before you can make that judgement call you need to know who you are
and I don't mean that you're 'god' or anything stupid like that but rather know what you like/dislike, what you find fair/unfair and which team you root for as liberal-non-conformists usually don't mix well with Draconian-authoritarian-conservatives, etc ,etc

Actually, better yet ---> Just read the quote in my signature

If it sounds like she s*** the bed
smells like she s*** the bed
feels like she s*** the bed
then there is a very good chance that the bed has been shat