The Forum Site - Join the conversation
Forums:
Random

Pulling a perfect sick day....

Reply to Topic
AuthorMessage
markfox01 On October 23, 2021
innit!





Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
#1New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 10:41:18
Here's a bunch of my fav. ways of pulling a sick day...


Extreme Tonsillitis
Inflamed tonsils hurt. If you still have your tonsils, they?re bound to get inflamed one sunny Friday morning. If you no longer have your tonsils, they?re bound to get inflamed one sunny Friday morning.
How long you can take off:
Tonsillitis is contagious. So, heck, you?re doing them a favor by staying out of work for three, four or eight days. Call in your excuse with an entire Twinkie stuffed down your pie hole. When you finally return to the dream factory that is your cubicle, keep an economy-size bottle of vodka-laced Cloraseptic on your desk. If anyone asks how you?re feeling, squirt liberally. Encourage questions.

Ate Bad Seafood
Perfect if you?re hungover: You were puking your guts out last night, so you aren?t technically lying.
How long you can take off:
Bad seafood will level you for at least two days. Unless you say you ate the Japanese blowfish, in which case you can call in dead. Tell the boss, ?I went to this half-price sushi place at Target?ugh, not again?I gotta go?? When you get back to work, flinch every time you walk by the office aquarium.


Migraines
They just happen. Nobody knows why, but everybody knows someone who suffers from them. The pain is so intense that the hum of the printer could send a workaday Joe like yourself into a full-on psychosis.
How long you can take off:
Migraines can last up to a week. When you?re faking it back at the office, think one-sided pain. ?It feels as if someone?s sawing my right temple with a dull knife? will do. Just remember which temple it was.


My Big one is... you wanner go out on the piss thursday night, but you have ran out of leave and cant get out of the piss up.. well...

Monday:- turn up like normal do a normal day, but say that your wife/husband/girl/boyfriend is ill with a stomach bug.. and phone them all day...

Tuesday:- try and get an hour off to take them to the doctors... this plants a image that there really ill

wednesday:- mention to some people that there still ill, but mention your not doing to goood today.. dont eat your sandwitches and spend 10mins in the toilet..

thursday:- come into work, and complain your really ill, then go home half day.. PArty Hard!!!

Friday:- call in sick.. with your hang over you'd sound really ill...

then monday everyone will be concerned!!! try it...
lily On April 21, 2009




, United Kingdom
#2New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 10:44:12
sounds like you make a hobby out of it lol
stefficles On January 18, 2009




Somewhere, United Kingdom
#3New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 10:48:21
WildChild On February 16, 2013
Perv Magnet





Southern Middle, Tennessee
#4New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:12:56
Oh you have no idea how much thought I have put in to calling in sick today. I just don't feel like working today. I'm not sick , I just hate these long a** busy Fridays. I know it'll pass by quickly but I still hate the thought of going in today. I think I have "can'tgetmyassofftfsalitus" wonder what the boss would say if I told her that. Hell she'd say get your a** in here now , I know her to well.
keighley On June 15, 2006




Newton Stewart, United Kingdom
#5New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:15:45
@markfox01 Said
Here's a bunch of my fav. ways of pulling a sick day...


Extreme Tonsillitis
Inflamed tonsils hurt. If you still have your tonsils, they?re bound to get inflamed one sunny Friday morning. If you no longer have your tonsils, they?re bound to get inflamed one sunny Friday morning.
How long you can take off:
Tonsillitis is contagious. So, heck, you?re doing them a favor by staying out of work for three, four or eight days. Call in your excuse with an entire Twinkie stuffed down your pie hole. When you finally return to the dream factory that is your cubicle, keep an economy-size bottle of vodka-laced Cloraseptic on your desk. If anyone asks how you?re feeling, squirt liberally. Encourage questions.

Ate Bad Seafood
Perfect if you?re hungover: You were puking your guts out last night, so you aren?t technically lying.
How long you can take off:
Bad seafood will level you for at least two days. Unless you say you ate the Japanese blowfish, in which case you can call in dead. Tell the boss, ?I went to this half-price sushi place at Target?ugh, not again?I gotta go?? When you get back to work, flinch every time you walk by the office aquarium.


Migraines
They just happen. Nobody knows why, but everybody knows someone who suffers from them. The pain is so intense that the hum of the printer could send a workaday Joe like yourself into a full-on psychosis.
How long you can take off:
Migraines can last up to a week. When you?re faking it back at the office, think one-sided pain. ?It feels as if someone?s sawing my right temple with a dull knife? will do. Just remember which temple it was.


My Big one is... you wanner go out on the piss thursday night, but you have ran out of leave and cant get out of the piss up.. well...

Monday:- turn up like normal do a normal day, but say that your wife/husband/girl/boyfriend is ill with a stomach bug.. and phone them all day...

Tuesday:- try and get an hour off to take them to the doctors... this plants a image that there really ill

wednesday:- mention to some people that there still ill, but mention your not doing to goood today.. dont eat your sandwitches and spend 10mins in the toilet..

thursday:- come into work, and complain your really ill, then go home half day.. PArty Hard!!!

Friday:- call in sick.. with your hang over you'd sound really ill...

then monday everyone will be concerned!!! try it...


Class Act!
markfox01 On October 23, 2021
innit!





Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
#6New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:16:53
@wildchild Said
Oh you have no idea how much thought I have put in to calling in sick today. I just don't feel like working today. I'm not sick , I just hate these long a** busy Fridays. I know it'll pass by quickly but I still hate the thought of going in today. I think I have "can'tgetmyassofftfsalitus" wonder what the boss would say if I told her that. Hell she'd say get your a** in here now , I know her to well.


you need my master class...
lily On April 21, 2009




, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:18:10
what rates do you charge
markfox01 On October 23, 2021
innit!





Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
#8New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:21:11
@lily Said
what rates do you charge


first class is free, then ?9.99 after that... i'll even have a certtificate for you...

The first lesson is:-

1. How to call in sick
2. How to doctor your doctors note
lily On April 21, 2009




, United Kingdom
#9New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 14:23:21
@markfox01 Said
first class is free, then ?9.99 after that... i'll even have a certtificate for you...

The first lesson is:-

1. How to call in sick
2. How to doctor your doctors note



chuck in a free gift for signing up and its a done deal
gossip_girl On October 03, 2006




, Florida
#10New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 15:28:49
I find that the more embarressing the problem the less arguement your boss will give you about staying home.
markfox01 On October 23, 2021
innit!





Welshman in Brum.., United Kin
#11New Post! Feb 24, 2006 @ 15:29:50
@lily Said
chuck in a free gift for signing up and its a done deal


well you can have a big snog from me...
Reply to Topic<< Previous Topic | Next Topic >>

1 browsing (0 members - 1 guest)

Quick Reply
Be Respectful of Others

      
Subscribe to topic prefs

Similar Topics
    Forum Topic Last Post Replies Views
New posts   Animal Rights
Sun Apr 10, 2011 @ 23:47
9 1565
New posts   Jokes & Humor
Tue Apr 05, 2011 @ 16:51
2 1223
New posts   Jokes & Humor
Mon Aug 30, 2010 @ 06:05
1 511
New posts   Random
Thu May 29, 2008 @ 00:50
3 551
New posts   Politics
Mon Jul 03, 2006 @ 15:13
15 1208