Scrambled Eggs

We hadda open all of the windows on the house.

Scrambled eggs, omelettes and quiche are all evil and not fit for human consumption. Egg should only be eaten raw or, at worst, fried in pig fat until semi-cooked...

Just let it all slide from the pan down your throat.

All you have to do is chuck in some mushrooms, and you have the perfect meal... bacon, eggs and mushrooms swimming in so much pig fat you have to drink it...

*drowns in own drool*

And so much gas all of the windows on the house remain steamed for several days in a row.

Also even more enjoyable sliding out than it was sliding in.