Nice Guys finish last, The truth. And being "Yourself"

Indeed. Classes/workshops/seminars on communication works tremendously as well.

Once you learn how to not be a push over and be more communicative, then things shall be easier. I'm working on that right now.

Yep. This is why when I get the advice "Just Be yourself" I disagree.

Sure dont be a faker, but theres nothing wrong with improvement. And I think a lot of guys who recieve this excellent advice dont actually get what it really means.

Ahh yeah. Quite the different interpretation. I can see where the signals get crossed.

no. I'm not attracted to jerks. I tell them what I think of them. I am attracted to nice guys...you don't ALL finish last. I can't find my man either because it seems like all you guys want to do is get in my pants

You must have nice pants...

Actually, there are women who prefer nice guys. You seem to forget that everyone has different tastes, and what's appealing to one woman may not appeal to others.

I remember watching one of the Amazing Atheist's "Penetrating Teenage Girl's Brains" videos, and I scrolled through the comments and found one guy who said, "Remember when girls liked real men like Arnold Schwarzenegger? Now they're into pretty boys like One Direction and Justin Bieber."

And I was thinking to myself, "Dude, there's plenty of girls who like tough guys. Not every girl is some brain-dead idiot who blindly follows what the media thinks girls should be like. A lot of them just want to be themselves and don't care about social trends or lame pop music." I wanted to reply to this chauvinist, but he disabled replies, and it's probably best that I didn't start a flame war over some random misogynistic comment on YouTube, since they're really not worth it. He was basically saying, "Remember when all girls conformed to strict societal standards and couldn't be themselves? Now they're conforming to other strict societal standards and aren't being themselves!" when in reality, all girls have different tastes in guys. Some women like brawny, tough guys, while others like soft, sensitive guys, and others don't even really care what their man is like, as long as he's genuinely kind and sweet. That's all it is; we all have different preferences, whether we're men or women.

Anyway, that is my say on the matter. If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

(P.S. I know this is another thread that hasn't been touched for years, but I thought I'd give my say on the matter, since I deeply care about women, and the whole "be yourself" thing. I just want to share my opinions, mmkay?)

Wow, Newt.... you really are bumping the old ones today, aren't you. Careful mate, you might just make TFS interesting again..!!

I look on this as a bit of an outsider. I'm not really interested in what men think of me in a romantic sense (for obvious reasons) but I do find myself interested intellectually in what men say or how they think.

It doesn't matter to me if a man is brash or shy... muscle bound or not..... If he treats me with respect and gives me a fair hearing then I will do the same for him. It's how I treat women too.

No, people don't have to be "intelligent" (whatever that means) but I do like it when they tell me what they think fairly and honestly, and are prepared to accept that my argument may be different to theirs. We can exchange views and opinions and either find common ground or agree to disagree. That's fair enough.

The unfortunate thing is that some men (and women, come to that) feel a need to force their view on others. A sort of "You WILL agree with me or else" and if they can't bully their way into making you submit to their view, will hate you for it. That's their insecurity showing and frankly, it's sad.

Another unfortunate aspect is the individual who feels they have to "win" a discussion as if it was some sort of football match. They want to come out of it punching the air, hoisting some imaginary trophy above their heads and taking a lap of honour in full view of the rest of the forum. That's infantile.

The men I mix with in real life are warm, friendly, confident and intelligent. I like them, I enjoy their company and we share good times. I'm glad I have them in my life. I don't want a man to perform press-ups with one hand or show me his war medals. In the words of the song; "That don't impress me much". I just want him to be around to be my friend, with honesty, decency and compassion.

For me, that's a REAL man.

Well, it's good to see that we finally got the lesbian view on what makes a man desirable. I guess we can put this topic to bed now, since Jenny has spoken.