Its funny that you ask an age old question and so few seem to understand why it is the way it is. I can tell you some of the reasoning, if not most of it. I got to warn you though, its not based on opinion, rather on research (some mine, most scientific community). I'm not going to link articles or anything because if you really want to know, you can check up everything I am explaining to you and you'll see what I mean.
Anyways, your asking about a guy who you want to be sweet and mushy "sometimes" right? Well, the thing is though, what most likely attracted you to this particular man was his masculinity and even more likely, his aggressive masculinity. This is one of the odd paradoxes of human sexuality. In some sense, many of the men on TFS are actually accurate in what they say in that "real men" don't get mushy. Although the actual terminology is a little off base, the assessment is accurate, but for clarity's sake, I'll clean it up. The real terminology is actually "alpha-males" don't get mushy.
An alphamale is usually the charismatic, and physically charming and aggressive leader of a pack. The same characteristic appears in humans as well. Many women look for the "chiselled physique" or the "rippling abs" and such when they look for a mate. The female body actually craves this sort of entity when they are ovulating and the most fertile. This preference changes when the woman is either not ovulating or pregnant.
When a woman is pregnant or not ovulating (or even when they are on (The Pill) they will seek out men who are more closely related in their MHC which is a short way of saying, a male who does not want to mate. They will look for a male who is more effeminate which is called, the beta-male. The evolutionary reason for this is the alpha-male is only useful to procreate. Normally the alphamale is showcasing superior physiological genetics for a superior offspring. The cost of these superior genetics is a male who is more or less incapable of being a "household male" or, to put it more accurately, a father. THIS is the reason why girls like bad boys, but settle down with good boys.
So, to answer your question, in a sense, your not really being a girl, you're kind of just, non-ovulating. You aren't sexually driven in the sense of a guy who would be sexually driven. When you are feeling like this, you are in beta-male hunting mode. When you want sex, you will be back to alpha-male hunt mode.
My advice to you? Umm... sorry. I only give advice that I really do know would work, but in this situation, I don't really know what to say. All I can do is provide you with the information and hope you make your choices being better informed.
What MAY be problematic is that your boyfriend has a very high testosterone level at time when you want a beta-male. It may be that he exercises very frequently. Perhaps you could talk him into exercising less which might bring down his testosterone level. Also, different foods like Soy milk or Soy yougurt drinks also bring down testosterone levels slowly by providing phyto-estrogens into the body in small amounts. These tend to reduce the aggressive and contra-girly behaviors and essentially make him somewhat more predisposed to "snuggly, cuddly, mushy" behavior. If you can talk him into changing his habits a few times a month, (when you are at your most cuddle-desiring), then it might work. If you cannot talk him into changing his behavior for your sake... Well, relationships are about compromise. Your partner should love you enough to atleast try
Mar 04, 2012 @ 02:50:00
