Secret Bank accounts

When married, I would actually respect her need to manage her own money however she wants, and would have no problem with her setting up her own account to do so. So she wouldn't need to keep it a secret.

This doesn't mean that we still couldn't come up with a mutual budget to meet our needs as a couple/family, and a determinition of how each of us will contribute to it. And as long as each of us is following through on that, then I would have no problem with what she does with extra money on the side.

I wouldn't say that i have a secret bank account...I have 2 separate bank accounts from my current account. My other half knows that they are there but we don't discuss what is in them.
I do have to admit however that with the one account...if something goes in, it is extremely unlikely to EVER come out!! ha ha!! Enter at your peril!!

thief cat in yer bank stealing your monies lol

I don't think I would be bothered if my other half had a secret account, I would however be pissed off if we hit hard times and had to get family to bail us out of a sticky spot just to discover he had a secret stash! Actually, I hope he does have a secret account with a 6 figure sum in it

i suppose it would be kind of hard to have a go at them if something like your boiler broke on christmas eve and you were skint from christmas shopping and your other half just went "it's alright, i've got it"

you couldn't really go "well why the hell have you got a secret account?"

though i still don't see that there would be any need to keep it secret.

I understand having separate accounts - it is extremely difficult to access someone else's accounts through the bank , so if you don't write down your internet/telephone banking details or card pin then it is very secure.

But having a secret account, I wouldn't like. It suggests mistrust. If you are using it for presents or surprises, I don't see how it would work because you would eventually have to explain where the money comes from - and to me that would ruin the surprise. Otherwise, it seems like you are waiting for the relationship to fail. And I get that they do, but going in with the attitude that it will isn't going to help.

Well...personally, I'm not. But if I found out that my husband has had a secret account all this time, I probably would be pretty suspicious as we've constantly been barely treading water.

Regardless, keeping long-term secrets will do that to a person. I can understand not revealing past secrets (although after 15 years of marriage, you expect to hear most of your spouse's past), but having an ongoing secret is deception, plain and simple. Deception is something to be suspicious about.

I think having something to fall back on it good and a safe maneuver. As someone who's planning on being a SAHM, I'm probably/definitely going to have a secret account.

I think it's a great idea.

Yep, I won't be caught with my money all gone again. The house is mine and I have money of my own. Once burned, you learn fast.
My husband caused the situation, I don't feel guilty at all. Besides, I usually spend it on him.

My friend had one. Mostly because he husband wouldn't give her any money. Like she'd beg to buy their daughter shoes. So she started stashing money away. When she got enough...she left his sorry ass.

Been there done that and she did the right thing in her case. Hope she's ok now.

She's great! So happy to be done with him and has moved on.

Right now, my boyfriend and I have separate personal accounts and 1 joint account for the mortgage. Once we get married, I'd like to have only one account. I would be still be ok with continuing to use separate accounts, although I don't see why we would need to have secret accounts, he can do whatever he wants with his personal account, I don't check his spending, nor he does with mine.

My mother taught me and my sis to keep a seperate account, you never know when s***s gonna happen.

Unfortunately a majority of men are the bread winners in most families and when relationships break down so does financial support.