why do we push away the people who love us?

why is it when we need our family and friends the most we push them away??

why is it when we no were not going to see the people we love for a long time instead of enjoying the time we have together we start fights with them for no reason??

and why is it we dont feel any better when we have pushed everyone away even though we thought it would make it easier as then we would have know one to miss??

I don't share much with my family, not really sure why. I probably should. I think I do this because I don't really think they can help me if there are any problems, as I am pretty independent and have found that it is better if I do it myself for the most part. This doesn't mean I don't spend time with them and all and am not in good terms with them, it just means I don't talk much about what's going on inside.

ino what u mean sometimes family is just to hard to talk to about feeling

I think this type of behavior is the exception rather than the rule.

oh i didn't realize that's its just me that does it i thought it was the normal thing to do

Maybe it does go on more than I realize?? Just in my own world, people tend to talk more, and don't push away the things they love most.

yes but if i tell them how i feel they will try and make my stay and they wont understand why im feeling like this as this is what i want or what i think i want.

Then just tell them that...That you love them, but need to find your own place in the world..
Believe me, they will be able to relate...And there is no shame in missing the people that we love, and telling one another that you will...
I think you will find this to be a comfort in your alone time once you are in your own space; rather than memories of fighting...
With having first talked things out, it will give you feelings of peace; and comfort to fall back on when the feelings of missing them sets in; and vice versa for them.

This is the perfect way for things to be with family but unfortunately not all families are close enough to even talk to or even want to talk to because of long time estrangements for reasons that go way too deep to overcome in their own minds or hearts.

If you can then stay close to family, but also realize that family is not necessarily only because of the 'blood' people share. At times we have family in people we aren't related to by any biological means at all and that's perfectly fine also..

they no i travel alot and usaly im fine but this time im not im emotional im scared and more importantly i feel guilty not being with them at Christmas. i would love to tell them how i feel but then they will worry about me and it will make it harder for them to let me go.



i am close to them and there always there for me but my mums a worrier and if she thinks im worried about something it will make her worry more so iv but this shield up and act like a heartless b**** so she things im strong and can look after myself and that she has nothing to worry about.

i usaly would talk to my best mate about all this but she heavily pregnant and is very emotional so i dont wont to bother her with my problems

Tnen just go...and act as natural as you can...Once there, call them often. You will be surprised at how just hearing their voices will make things so much easier...
Your first Christmas away from them...will be hard as to be expected; but you are together in spirit,..and of course, as I've said, will be able to chat to one another...
Don't let your fears and worries stop you from livig life though...Your family would want for you to find your happiness. Remember that.