how do i "get along" with my husband who always tries to speak against

I don't feel that my husband( who I know since one year) and I " SYNCHRONIZED" while having conversation.
I have friends with whom I feel I gel with while having CONVERSATION.with them its like for example I say something then my friend would say something showing she agrees with what I say may be humoursly and we ll laugh and laugh.
But with my husband if I tell something he waits till I finish speaking and then he would always try to speak opposite of my point to view.so its like battle for next round as to whose point of view we conclude with mine or his. Most of the time I quit because I don't wana argue.it becomes so serious
I feel uncomfortable now what to tell him or what not.

Have u suffered with situation like this with spouse ???? Any suggestion

it sounds to me like he is using the age old technique in controlling a wife / partner/girlfriend ....the 'treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen ' technique ......either that or your opinions aren't very valid ..if it doesn't change in a year then get a divorce ..don't have any kids first because they will suffer with two parents who always have opposite views ...it'll be very confusing for them

you say the arguing becomes so serious, how so? does he ever get physically violent towards you?

No thanks

He doesn't get violent anytime just that we don't get to laugh or enjoy the conversation .so we become quiet.many times I would nod my head when he tells something.these are times when he is speaking about electronic gadgets ,technology or politics. I don't know how to make these topic funny.please Correct me if I m wrong .
Then when I m talking about neighborhood or someone he always tries to say opposite of my point of view.now I don't know if he does it to keep conversation going or he say to demean me. But when he says he is serious and then there is nothing to laugh about
Does anyone experienced or familiar with what I m saying ?? Pleeeeease reply

Or those could simply just be his true feelings. We don't always have to agree with each other, you know?
As for his talk about electronics; maybe try learning up a bit about them too? So that you will understand. And then contradict things he is saying.

Of course, I don't know you two; so there is always the chance that it is in his nature to simply be disagreeable. But maybe not too. Just something to consider. (Only your gut can tell you which is which. )

You are getting confused between your friend who always agree's and your husband. A lot of times friends are "yes men" they always agree so they get along with you and they don't tell you truly how they feel because they don't want to argue. With your husband, he is being honest and tell you what he knows, facts about electronics and stuff. He has the right to his opinion and you have the right to yours. If you are discussing things that are not opinions maybe he does happen to know more about it than you and you should learn more about it, he is trying to teach you what is true about them. If you are talking about opinions about things then you can't be wrong, it is how you feel and no one can control that. He can't tell you what your opinion is on things and that is all you have to say to him.

Relationships are not perfect, you are not going to be happy laughing all the time, they are work. You will have arguements and disagreements...if they happen to get to be too often and there are more quiet upset times than there are happy times maybe it is time to re-think the marriage.

You should talk to him and tell him how you feel.

Out of curiosity, was this something like an arranged marriaged sort of situation? What is your background with your husband? You say that you've only known him for a year, and yet you are already married. Don't get me wrong, that works well for some people, but you sound to be struggling to get to know this person that you're married to, and struggling with trying to figure out how your relationship with him is going to work.

These are usually things that people learn while they are dating. There is usually a gradual increase in the ammount of commitment as we learn more about each other and how we work together. You sound as one that never went through this process and is now married to a man that she never knew before. It sounds like you just jumped into commitment with a stranger.

It's going to make everything more difficult. You're basically skipping that whole learning process that people generally spend a few years on and jumping right into the full committment, and then trying to go backwards and learn what you need to about your husband and relationship in order to make the marriage work.

I may be totally wrong about this, but from past posts the impression I get is that she is sort of a mail order bride who married to get citizenship.


To the OP--

You seem to post about nothing but problems between you and your husband, but leaving doesn't seem to come up as an option (at least not in any of your initial posts). If you're having this many problems and you've only known him a year, isn't it possible you shouldn't have married him? That may sound blunt, but there's no other way to put it.

Ooh !! That's very confronting.
My husband is not u.s citizen and not even applied for green card.he was infact in full mood to do MBA schooling from India .this was the time when we started our long distant dating .but then he changed his mind saying it would be a big change for him.during this 2 years of long distant relationship he played romantic guy sending me roses every month and frequent chatting.I had never thought ofiving far away from my parents .infact I had told my dad to buy me a house next to theirs so that I ll be near them always to take care of them .once I start earning I ll repay the money back.now I meet this guy who seemed so romantic that I felt I would do all chores to not burden him and will support him .now that I moved with him I realized things about him like he wouldn't even come to know if I ate anything even if he was home, not get me medicine or ask until he sees me crying in the night.forget roses I didn't even cut cake on my birthday because he forgot .

Not trying to be confronting, but there's no point in dancing around the subject. I've not seen you post anything positive about your marriage to your husband. Each time you post you're bringing up something negative and talking about how miserable you are, so I ask the question: why are you still married to him?

I did say that I may have been totally wrong about the "mail order bride" thing, and I honestly didn't mean it to come across as insulting at all...it's just the impression I got and if it's wrong I withdraw it.

I m gona try it for few Months coming by.see if he changes.till then I even have to watch myself as in if I m expecting too much .so comes this forum in my mind .