@LuckyCharms Said
Be selective. Choose your partner with care. Chemistry is important, but chemistry isn't enough. You need communication, compatibility and compromise.
So what does that mean?
It means pay attention to how well you two actually get along. Infatuation is often confused with love but infatuation usually leaves out those three crucial items. People make excuses or don't see clearly because hormones and the desire to be in love blind them.
Communication. When the going gets tough, the tough communicate. It's hard to expose yourself and your innermost feelings to another. Do you trust your partner to take your feelings into account? And moreso, do you trust yourself and your partner to work through it when we all fall from grace occasionally and screw up?
Compatibility. How do you handle being together? Can you figure out what TV to watch together without an argument? Can you work together to come to mutually satisfying activities?
Compromise. What's the give and take in your relationship? It doesn't mean that you always have a 50/50 balance but that you share the sacrifice and rewards of being together. If you give 70% and they give 30%, are there roughly the same amounts of experiences where they give 70% and you give 30%? And can it be done without score keeping? You don't want to run tabs and you don't want them to run tabs on you.
And speaking of score keeping, can you forgive them when you feel you have given more? And can they forgive you?
Remember that love is wonderful, titillating, even all-consuming. But to be in a relationship and make it work requires a large amount of pragmatism. Keep your negative emotions in check and they should too.
In my experience, if you've covered these bases your relationships will be a lot more satisfying.
And one last bit - if you've got it, drop the Disney fantasy crap. I've never heard of one Cinderella irritated that she cleaned the toilet when he could have and I've never heard of one Prince Charming b****ing about the bra in the shower. People aren't fantasy creatures and as a result, neither are relationships.
Be open to learning from your partner but don't lose yourself. In the process you'll both learn a lot about each other and yourself.
I agree with keeping your negative emotions in check. Don't battle your partner with your little devil when she pulls her little devil out. Just turn the other butt cheek and weather the storm until she calms down and puts it away again.
After awhile of practice you'll easily be able to take her little devil without getting hurt by it and she'll start to learn that she doesn't have to pull it out as often.