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Relationship Advice From Experienced People.

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kidvisions On July 01, 2014




Raoued, Tunisia
#1New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:05:54
I don't know what love really is? What relationships are and how they should be like? I don't know what to expect? What to accept? What to want? I am totally lost... I think this is the true problem now! Help help help! Can you please tell me your definitions of love, relationships, marriage... And some lessons you've learned?
Demented On January 31, 2024




, Australia
#2New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:24:38
In some cases,you being female your needs and want's are completely different to a males so in all it's something you need to find out for yourself by asking yourself those exact questions.
Set yourself ground rules and what you will and won't do for the sake of love or the relationship.

Sorry I can't be more help,but you have to decide what you want,not what we advise you to do.
chisa96 On December 29, 2014
Supreme Goddess





Out in Nature, Wisconsin
#3New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:39:27
I doubt that I really qualify as "experienced", but yours is such a broad questioning with such variation in answers that I can say that no one's going to be able to give you a definitive answer. How people define love is based on who they are. What they expect in relationships based upon what kind of people they are. What to accept is based on what sorts of things they can deal with and what bothers them too much.

You're basically asking us who you are here, and we can't answer that for you.
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#4New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:40:55
@kidvisions Said

I don't know what love really is? What relationships are and how they should be like? I don't know what to expect? What to accept? What to want? I am totally lost... I think this is the true problem now! Help help help! Can you please tell me your definitions of love, relationships, marriage... And some lessons you've learned?



During this lifetime we have the grand opportunity of being in the company other individual people.

Love begins with loving yourself enough not to feel hurt no matter what reasons are making you feel hurt BECAUSE even if you're hurt because your punishing yourself for something that you did wrong it will in turn depress you so that you don't feel that strong love for yourself which will turn you around to doing nothing wrong naturally.

Once you have that love you will realize that mass value of and worth of all those people outside your door.

And when this happens you will start respecting that value by asking what is good about each and every one of them instead of what sucks about them.

And then you will love them for that.

And when you finally stumble upon that very lucky person - when you give them their first kiss, they're going to feel the deep passion in it more so than all the previous kisses they've had before.

And they will know it is real and they will give themselves up to you unconditionally.
LuckyCharms On July 31, 2021
Magically Delicious





,
#5New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:46:17
Be selective. Choose your partner with care. Chemistry is important, but chemistry isn't enough. You need communication, compatibility and compromise.

So what does that mean?

It means pay attention to how well you two actually get along. Infatuation is often confused with love but infatuation usually leaves out those three crucial items. People make excuses or don't see clearly because hormones and the desire to be in love blind them.

Communication. When the going gets tough, the tough communicate. It's hard to expose yourself and your innermost feelings to another. Do you trust your partner to take your feelings into account? And moreso, do you trust yourself and your partner to work through it when we all fall from grace occasionally and screw up?

Compatibility. How do you handle being together? Can you figure out what TV to watch together without an argument? Can you work together to come to mutually satisfying activities?

Compromise. What's the give and take in your relationship? It doesn't mean that you always have a 50/50 balance but that you share the sacrifice and rewards of being together. If you give 70% and they give 30%, are there roughly the same amounts of experiences where they give 70% and you give 30%? And can it be done without score keeping? You don't want to run tabs and you don't want them to run tabs on you.

And speaking of score keeping, can you forgive them when you feel you have given more? And can they forgive you?

Remember that love is wonderful, titillating, even all-consuming. But to be in a relationship and make it work requires a large amount of pragmatism. Keep your negative emotions in check and they should too.

In my experience, if you've covered these bases your relationships will be a lot more satisfying.

And one last bit - if you've got it, drop the Disney fantasy crap. I've never heard of one Cinderella irritated that she cleaned the toilet when he could have and I've never heard of one Prince Charming b****ing about the bra in the shower. People aren't fantasy creatures and as a result, neither are relationships.

Be open to learning from your partner but don't lose yourself. In the process you'll both learn a lot about each other and yourself.
ReAdSaLoT On September 23, 2019




,
#6New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 01:46:59
It's a process you have to go through yourself. Watch marriages or relationships that seem happy. Don't assume, ask questions specific to your needs.
My mother had rules about choosing a mate and my parents were happy. She'd say- be wary of someone who hates animals, is tight with money, mean to their parents, and likes the bottle too much. She'd be 100, but my parents were in love for 40 yrs. until he died. We gravitate to what is familiar. Since I don't know you, how can I advise?
You'll figure it out.
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#7New Post! Sep 02, 2011 @ 02:13:06
@LuckyCharms Said

Be selective. Choose your partner with care. Chemistry is important, but chemistry isn't enough. You need communication, compatibility and compromise.

So what does that mean?

It means pay attention to how well you two actually get along. Infatuation is often confused with love but infatuation usually leaves out those three crucial items. People make excuses or don't see clearly because hormones and the desire to be in love blind them.

Communication. When the going gets tough, the tough communicate. It's hard to expose yourself and your innermost feelings to another. Do you trust your partner to take your feelings into account? And moreso, do you trust yourself and your partner to work through it when we all fall from grace occasionally and screw up?

Compatibility. How do you handle being together? Can you figure out what TV to watch together without an argument? Can you work together to come to mutually satisfying activities?

Compromise. What's the give and take in your relationship? It doesn't mean that you always have a 50/50 balance but that you share the sacrifice and rewards of being together. If you give 70% and they give 30%, are there roughly the same amounts of experiences where they give 70% and you give 30%? And can it be done without score keeping? You don't want to run tabs and you don't want them to run tabs on you.

And speaking of score keeping, can you forgive them when you feel you have given more? And can they forgive you?

Remember that love is wonderful, titillating, even all-consuming. But to be in a relationship and make it work requires a large amount of pragmatism. Keep your negative emotions in check and they should too.

In my experience, if you've covered these bases your relationships will be a lot more satisfying.

And one last bit - if you've got it, drop the Disney fantasy crap. I've never heard of one Cinderella irritated that she cleaned the toilet when he could have and I've never heard of one Prince Charming b****ing about the bra in the shower. People aren't fantasy creatures and as a result, neither are relationships.

Be open to learning from your partner but don't lose yourself. In the process you'll both learn a lot about each other and yourself.



I agree with keeping your negative emotions in check. Don't battle your partner with your little devil when she pulls her little devil out. Just turn the other butt cheek and weather the storm until she calms down and puts it away again.

After awhile of practice you'll easily be able to take her little devil without getting hurt by it and she'll start to learn that she doesn't have to pull it out as often.
Skyla On September 10, 2011




, United Kingdom
#8New Post! Sep 10, 2011 @ 07:22:26
hi, newbie here,

i think We all learn/realize/accept/like/suit different things and different people.

i think Only you can answer those questions, only you know what your expecting and what your willing to accept, only you know what you want out of life and i think you will only ever find the answer to these questions in your own personal experiences. x
Electric_Banana On February 05, 2024




, New Zealand
#9New Post! Sep 10, 2011 @ 07:49:37
Don't allow your desires to choreographic all of his next actions in your head because he's going to be out of sync with all of them.

I don't know what the girls I dated were told but most of them told me off for not acting how they were imagining I was next going to act.

"You just found five on the ground, I was expecting flowers but you bought Hustler!"
jeanineleah On September 16, 2011




Malasiqui, Philippines
#10New Post! Sep 15, 2011 @ 19:38:57
relationship advises really do help.. but of course u got to create ur own love story,too and I think best way to dig all the wonders and surprises of love is to have the experience of being there.. (relationships..)and that's it! u will learn along the way....
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