Married, Bi, and conflicted

@Roy00 Said


@alk


thank you. there's just one burning question i have..

"However, the fact that you are still in love with someone else creates a whole new issue in your marriage aside from the flings with which it has already been pummeled."

this quote, with whom do you believe im in love with still? my former friend? cause that's a relationship that has ended YEARS ago and i know now i dont feel the same for him anymore.

@Roy00 Said

If you got some time to read this, thanks.
im 25 yrs old, married, Bi and the wife knows. I first knew of my sexuality, in high school, on a dare that my ex-best friend challenged me to kiss him and find out. We kissed and chatted for a bit, it seemed ALMOST awkward but not really. When we did, the rest of high school seemed like a dream and a nightmare at once. It was hard when people at school found out what you did and have your best friend still claim to be straight (even after kissing he tells me he liked it) and just shun me out. The biggest pain I felt is having our childhood relationship come to an end only to remain as acquaintances. I could barely cope, he was my best friend and i loved him very much that i wouldnt have cared what relationship we had as long as I could still talk to him the same.

I don't know if that point in time has changed me but a couple of years later, i joined the military, married, got out, and now going to school. but the worse part is that I am hooking up with other guys behind my wife's back. I know what this seems like, and i see myself doing these things! I just feel like such a slave to my urges. When i do feel the shame though, I always remember my best friend and how i was so romantically involved and how i used to get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I hate this and i'd like to know some opinions, should i try to make things work with my wife? Or is it better for both of us for me to leave? She has forgiven me once for hooking up but now i feel it's more than that. Thank you in advance.

@Roy00 Said

...but the worse part is that I am hooking up with other guys behind my wife's back.

@kershi Said

Hello,

I am sort of in the same situation. When I first began to feel attracted to men (I am a man), I was 15-16, and the feeling was so intense and somehow so elibertaing that I thought I was gay for a while... Since then I have had relationships with both men and women, and feel sexually attracted to both, but with time it seems to me that I prefer women. I met this gorgeous and incredible girl which I can now call my wife, I am attracted to her and our sex life, with the usual up and downs, is very fulfilling...

What bothers me is that there is always a part of my sex life which is sort of left behind... I still feel attracted to guys, my wife knows about that and would tolerate for me to go out with other guys... I have done this in the past, and I can tell you that I became the victim of my own crime, even though I did it openly and despite the fact that my wife was totally aware... Since I love my wife and there is no-one else I would want to spend my life with I have came to accept the fact that being truly bisexual may lead you to being at least partly frustrated with your sex life... Being sexually involved with a woman is not the same that being with a man, and one does not replace the other one...

Search your soul... Being bisexual is full-time thing, is not a hiding place for gay people.
For the threesomes I would say someone ends up hurting in the end... Sometimes the three of you...

@Roy00 Said

If you got some time to read this, thanks.
im 25 yrs old, married, Bi and the wife knows. I first knew of my sexuality, in high school, on a dare that my ex-best friend challenged me to kiss him and find out. We kissed and chatted for a bit, it seemed ALMOST awkward but not really. When we did, the rest of high school seemed like a dream and a nightmare at once. It was hard when people at school found out what you did and have your best friend still claim to be straight (even after kissing he tells me he liked it) and just shun me out. The biggest pain I felt is having our childhood relationship come to an end only to remain as acquaintances. I could barely cope, he was my best friend and i loved him very much that i wouldnt have cared what relationship we had as long as I could still talk to him the same.

I don't know if that point in time has changed me but a couple of years later, i joined the military, married, got out, and now going to school. but the worse part is that I am hooking up with other guys behind my wife's back. I know what this seems like, and i see myself doing these things! I just feel like such a slave to my urges. When i do feel the shame though, I always remember my best friend and how i was so romantically involved and how i used to get a sinking feeling in my stomach.
I hate this and i'd like to know some opinions, should i try to make things work with my wife? Or is it better for both of us for me to leave? She has forgiven me once for hooking up but now i feel it's more than that. Thank you in advance.