Grumbling

Ahhh, a great British institution... Grumbling.

Grumbling is an ancient pastime in these islands, with our many tribes, narrow confines and persistent new arrivals all adding to the mix. In the mists of time the Iceni would grumble about the Trinovantes, Britons about Romans, Saxons about Normans, peasants about Squires, Lords about Kings, wives about husbands, English about Scots, Irish and Welsh.... and vice versa..!!

Sometimes it boils over into riot and mayhem but not often because grumbling is our release of steam. It eases the pressure. A common irony is that the British are only truly happy when we're grumbling about something.

The phrase "Mustn't Grumble" is an irony in itself. Much of our humour, from Shakespeare and before, right up to Grumpy Old Women depends on it. The days of radio as a form of mass entertainment gave us the ever-grumbling charlady, Mona Lott whose catchphrase was "It's being so cheerful that keeps me going". It makes me smile when I think of how much grumbling there must have been as the slaves of pre-history pulled those massive stones across country to the site of Stonehenge.

So........ what are YOUR favourite grumbles..?

i like to grumble about people who stand waiting for a bus for 20 minutes, the bus arrives, they get on and THEN they decide it's time to get their purse out and start fishing around for the fare.

you should be allowed to punch these people in the head.


oh and when you hold a door open for someone and they just breeze on by without so much as a nod of the head.

people who stand around talking in supermarkets oblivious to the fact that they are blocking the whole aisle and that the world does not, in fact, revolve around them.

generally people being d***heads i suppose.

Excellent grumbling, Oisin. You clearly know the art.

Some of my personal pet annoyances also occur in the supermarket. People who turn their trollies sideways to block an aisle..... people who spend all day fishing around in their purse whilst muttering "I'm sure I've got the right money here, somewhere".....

People who wander REALLY slowly in the middle of the pavement so you can't get past.

My wife says I am the orginal Grumpy Old Man which I think is a bit unfair because her dad was far worse than me, the silly old bastard.

When it comes to grumbling though, the navy has got everybody beaten hands down. A famous naval officer once wrote that sailors are only truly happy when they're complaining, and in fact, the level of grumbling is in fact a barometer that all is well. When the complaining stops, the command should beware. The only reason they will stop complaining is to start plotting. Quiet sailors can only mean a mutiny is just around the corner.

Why are most old men grumblers? Most old men can never see the good in anything. Drives me bonkers. Get a frickin hobby. I can't stand being around grumblers. Too much negative energy.

Laffin', Pleb. You clearly don't understand the British. Having a good old grumble can make you happy. I suppose, in a way, it's a case of getting things off your chest.

In a lot of ways, there is nothing you can do about a situation but to have a good old moan makes you feel better. You've had your say.... you've got it out of your system.

Have a read again of my original post. I don't resent Jacques.... or any other "Grumpy Old Man" having his grumble. I must confess to having a good complain myself from time to time.

Very often, you can grumble with great good humour. If you've ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, one of the funniest characters in the book is Marvin the Paranoid Android, a robot programmed with a depressed personality who complains about everything and yet, has become one of the most favourite of characters amongst those who read apocryphal sci-fi novels.

Marvin: "I felt awful this morning. Things got worse after lunch, and after that, everything went into a bit of a decline."

Classic grumbling. I Love it.


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Sorry, but it's draining to hear your friends b**** and moan first thing in the morning EVERY damned morning. Don't they have one good thing in their life?
And I love the Hitchhikers series. But for real life, cheer the f*** up.

People beeping their bastard car horns outside our flat, or riding extremely noisy motorbikes late at night, or people who play their s*** music so loud in their cars that the while of Crouch End can bloody hear...f*** OFF....I've taken to shouting at people in their cars from our window now, they're do up their own backsides they don't realise the while town doesn't want to listen to their terrible music ahhh I feel better now

What gets me is people who blast music with blown speakers. You can hear the static in them and yet they are still blasting them *banghead* Epic fail on appearing cool

Just to clarify grumbling isn't quite the same as b****ing, it's usually humoured, mellow and kinda pointless but makes you feel better, except for my post, maybe that was more of a rant

they don't realist that they look like utter t***s!

the car thing does my nut in as well

there must be some way of graphing s***ness of music by volume, or s***ness of car by volume of music

British weather.


Oh and people buying the last of a pair of boots/shoes/jeans etc I wanted, but who look weird in them.......slow drivers.......the way petrol pumps always go 1p over the amount you want to pay.......moronic checkout girls who insist on asking a 6'6" blonde in high heeled boots holding car keys if they are over 18 when buying a trolley full of wine.......American tourists who think that all there is to Buckingham Palace is the bit you can see from the road.