hello and thank you for call the state mental hospital.
please select from the following options menu:
if you are obsessive-compulive, press 1 repeatedly.
if you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
if you are multiple personalities, press 3,4,5,and 6.
if you are paranoid, we know you are and what you know, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
if you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded the mother ship.
if you are schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
if you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
if you are dyslexic, press 9696969696.
if you are bipolar, please leave a message before the beep or after the beep. please wait for the beep.
if you have a short-term memory loss, press 9. if you are have short-term memory loss, press 9.
if you have low self-esteem, please hang up, our operators are too busy to you.
if you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. you won't be crazy forever.
if you are a blonde, don't press any number, you'll mess it up.
you ho, you ho,
- hey el tino and moderators of tfs, what number to you press on your phone everyday ?
Mar 05, 2011 @ 22:22:13
