Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool space ranjur for Xmas. I'v ben good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND, BiLLy
Dear Bill,
Nice spelling. Your on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a f***ing book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!!
Santa.
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the Worldfor everybody.
Love Sarah.
Dear Sarah.
You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa.
Dear Santa.
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really want a fire truck this year.
Love Joey.
Dear Joey.
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
Santa
Dear Santa.
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love Teddy.
Dear Teddy.
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby sitter? He banging her like a screen door in a Hurricane, son! let me get you some nice lego instead
Santa.
Dear Santa
I need more Pokemon cards please! all my friends have more than me. Please see what you can do.
Love Michelle.
Dear Michelle
It blows my f***ing mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and noneof you snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed like Snakes and ladders.
Santa.
Dear Santa.
I want a new Bike, Playstation 3, a train, some G.I Joe's, a dog, a drum kit, a pony, and a tuba.
Love Francis
Dear Francis.
Who the hell names their kid "Francis" anyways
Santa.
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your Reindeer outside the back door.
Love Susan.
Dear Susan.
Milk gives me the s***s and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face. You want to be a kiss ass? leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.
Santa.
Dear Santa
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys.
Your friend Thomas.
Dear Thomas.
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in vagas, where I spend most of my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' asses and losing my cash at the crap tables. Hey, You wanted to know.
Santa.
Dear Sants
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song.
Love jessica.
Dear Jessica.
Are you that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I'm skipping your house.
Santa.
Dear Santa.
I relly relly want a puppy this year, Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one.
Timmy.
Timmy.
That whiny crapp might work on your parents, but that s*** doesn't fly up here. Your getting a sweater..... again
Santa
Dearest Santa.
We dont have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love Marky.
Mark,
Firstly stop calling yourself "Marky" that's why you're getting your a** whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside youe pad just like the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
SWEETDREAMS
Santa