@Kels8786 Said
I posted a thread about my father being against my relationship with the black man I am currently dating. So when I got a call from him I had obviously been crying and was upset and when he asked what was wrong I explained to him what had transpired.
He was quiet a moment then asked me not to come as to keep my father from kicking me out. I told him that regardless of what my father feels thinks and does I have no intentions of changing who I am and what I do to keep him happy. Then he said that maybe I should have said I was going to Philly to visit a girl friend. It was then my turn for a pause after which I simply said Austin I refuse to lie about what I am doing.
He has a valid point in thinking I should fib about my true reasons for going to Philly to make getting there easier... but I am not someone who likes to lie. I am not ashamed of him and I feel as though I would end up pissing my father off even more by telling him a lie that he would eventually figure out.
I hate lies and liars and I was not under the impression that Austin condoned them either. It startled me to think he might lie to get his way and though I have no clue whether he has ever lied to me I hope he was only saying it in hindsight.
Also I feel like if I would have lied to my father it would show Austin that I was not serious about being with him. That I would not stand up to those who are ignorant enough to still believe people of different races and backgrounds shouldn't be together. I feel that I showed him and my father that I will stand up for those I care about and for my beliefs.
What do you think should I have lied to make my situation easier or is it good to always stick to the truth no matter how hard?
And....
Is his suggestion that I should have lied about who I was going to see a warning signal for me about his ability to be honest?
Without knowing him personally, I think he was just trying to find a way that you could still have your relationship with your father and still do what you want to do. On the other hand, he may have only suggested that to see if you would be willing to keep him a secret...just to see where you stood.
That being said, you may want to keep an eye on who he
does lie to and why. What you say in your next post (which I'm not quoting) is true. If you lie about something that is going to face you every single day, you're going to have to keep lying about it.
The truth is really the easiest way to go, even if the circumstances become difficult because of it. If your father is willing to disown you because of who you love, sadly, that's his loss and hopefully he'll come to realize it.