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My mom and dad

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Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#1New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 17:13:42
Their relationship is SO freaking complicated, but I swear it's true love.

They've known each other or 23, been together on and off for 20, been married for 9 and separated for 4 of those years.

They aren't divorced though.

My dad resents my mom for kicking him out.
My mom resents my dad for not fixing his problems for the sake of our little family.

Despite being cheated on by my dad with a sleaze bag and having a child with said sleaze bag (me), she still stuck around. And RAISED me no less, (which was a big slap in her face because she can't have children).
Despite my mom running off to California, my dad ran after her and begged her back (totally romantic).
Despite my dad tearing me away from my mom and taking me to another state and banning her from seeing me.
Despite it all, they still love each other.
They still show one another immense patience.

They're 39 and 42, and neither of them wants to be together for real, but they don't want to date anyone else either.

Wtf?
It's pretty amazing.

I don't know anyone else who would stick together like that...
sTreetAngeL On January 24, 2022
root tedt ree





in a paradox,
#2New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 17:25:30
@Kristy69 Said
neither of them wants to be together for real,



So, they are 'settling' you are saying then?
magically_delicious On October 27, 2020




, California
#3New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 17:33:28
That sounds like something off an episode of Jerry Springer or Maury.

"Dad rips child away from adoptive mother to take back to the real mother who abandoned them both. Will she take them back?? (insert boo's and aw's here)"

Sorry, but I think they are just waiting till you go to college before they separate. I have TONS of friends parents who separated once their kids left the nest. You are the glue that binds them together!
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#4New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 17:44:25
@sTreetAngeL Said

So, they are 'settling' you are saying then?


I guess.

Until my dad gets over his issues, they can't be together.
If he does, who knows.
They very well likely could.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#5New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 17:48:56
@magically_delicious Said

That sounds like something off an episode of Jerry Springer or Maury.

"Dad rips child away from adoptive mother to take back to the real mother who abandoned them both. Will she take them back?? (insert boo's and aw's here)"

Sorry, but I think they are just waiting till you go to college before they separate. I have TONS of friends parents who separated once their kids left the nest. You are the glue that binds them together!


He never took me back to my real mother...

And they still sleep in the same bed when he's over and sleep together (eww).

My mom has gotten serious with other people, but she can't love them. She always compares them to my dad (he's a great guys) and as long as my dad is still alive, she'll only love him. She's talked about getting divorced (economic matters), but she doesn't want to. Neither does he.

When we go out together they hold hands, sit next to eachother, hug, kiss, ect.
The only thing holding them back are his issues and his job.

And, btw, that was an incredibly RUDE comparison.
magically_delicious On October 27, 2020




, California
#6New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 18:14:44
@Kristy69 Said

He never took me back to my real mother...

And they still sleep in the same bed when he's over and sleep together (eww).

My mom has gotten serious with other people, but she can't love them. She always compares them to my dad (he's a great guys) and as long as my dad is still alive, she'll only love him. She's talked about getting divorced (economic matters), but she doesn't want to. Neither does he.

When we go out together they hold hands, sit next to eachother, hug, kiss, ect.
The only thing holding them back are his issues and his job.

And, btw, that was an incredibly RUDE comparison.



Well, I've never been one who concentrates on tact. I just call it how I see it. My parents are extremely co-dependant, and somehow that co-dependency turned into "love" I guess. My Dad cheated on my Mom multiple times, my Mom suffers from mild dementia to the point where she won't go to the grocery store or even put gas in her car. She needs my Dad to do everything for her, and so he does. Also Springer worthy material.

The difference being that I generally don't broadcast my parent's desperate relationship as true love on the internet. It's true co-dependency. They have problems, but they NEED each other because they can't thrive without the other. Yes they take romantic vacations and hold hands and snuggle, and I'm sure they have sex. But they spend all their time outside of that SCREAMING at each other or separated.

So, sorry I don't sugar coat things.
ninozara On April 30, 2020




Cheshire, United Kingdom
#7New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 18:33:43
That sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship to me, from the outside looking in. More like they are obsessed, and a bit like they are using each other - they don't actually want to be together, but it's convenient to have each other around when they are lonely.

Obviously I don't know and I might be completely wrong, but that's what I get from your post. Also I might just be extrapolating my experience with my parents
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#8New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 18:43:12
@ninozara Said

That sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship to me, from the outside looking in. More like they are obsessed, and a bit like they are using each other - they don't actually want to be together, but it's convenient to have each other around when they are lonely.

Obviously I don't know and I might be completely wrong, but that's what I get from your post. Also I might just be extrapolating my experience with my parents


When you see it from my angle, you do see real love in there.
Their ability to forgive and change for each other is amazing (of course alcoholism isn't something as easy to change).
My mom and dad are good looking people, I'm sure if they wanted to, they could go out and get married (my mom was kinda close with this one guy), but in the end, they just want each other. 23 years of history is hard to move on from.
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#9New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 18:47:47
@magically_delicious Said

Well, I've never been one who concentrates on tact. I just call it how I see it. My parents are extremely co-dependant, and somehow that co-dependency turned into "love" I guess. My Dad cheated on my Mom multiple times, my Mom suffers from mild dementia to the point where she won't go to the grocery store or even put gas in her car. She needs my Dad to do everything for her, and so he does. Also Springer worthy material.

The difference being that I generally don't broadcast my parent's desperate relationship as true love on the internet. It's true co-dependency. They have problems, but they NEED each other because they can't thrive without the other. Yes they take romantic vacations and hold hands and snuggle, and I'm sure they have sex. But they spend all their time outside of that SCREAMING at each other or separated.

So, sorry I don't sugar coat things.


They haven't fought in years, I think it's because of my mom's sobriety and the time living apart has made them appreciate each other a lot more.
When they were sober together 12 years ago, they were picture perfect.
But when you put alcohol into the picture it f***s everything up.

So yes, they can be VERY good for each other.
But as long as one is sick, they can't be together for the welfare of all involved.

When I slammed in the door in my dad's face last Christmas eve eve, he finally got it that my mom and I miss him like hell and we do want him around.

I know that if he got his s*** together, we could all be together again, until then, they're married with the benefits of space.
Pooh_Pooh On June 28, 2010

Banned



, Canada
#10New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 19:00:57
@Kristy69 Said

Their relationship is SO freaking complicated, but I swear it's true love.

They've known each other or 23, been together on and off for 20, been married for 9 and separated for 4 of those years.

They aren't divorced though.

My dad resents my mom for kicking him out.
My mom resents my dad for not fixing his problems for the sake of our little family.

Despite being cheated on by my dad with a sleaze bag and having a child with said sleaze bag (me), she still stuck around. And RAISED me no less, (which was a big slap in her face because she can't have children).
Despite my mom running off to California, my dad ran after her and begged her back (totally romantic).
Despite my dad tearing me away from my mom and taking me to another state and banning her from seeing me.
Despite it all, they still love each other.
They still show one another immense patience.

They're 39 and 42, and neither of them wants to be together for real, but they don't want to date anyone else either.

Wtf?
It's pretty amazing.

I don't know anyone else who would stick together like that...





Good that they can get on for your sake,coz it aint no fun living in a war zone

but wow that's one dysfunctional family
Kristy69 On September 14, 2014
Carly's Mommy





Underneath the Cyanide Sun....
#11New Post! Jun 24, 2010 @ 19:07:53
@Pooh_Pooh Said

Good that they can get on for your sake,coz it aint no fun living in a war zone

but wow that's one dysfunctional family


It's perfectly functional when there's no drinking involved.
Alcohol does somethings to people.

It can make people do stupid things and take important people for granted.
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