Lesbians' Kids Are Better Behaved than Straight Parents' Kids

I would like to know what Ms Gartrell's personal sexual preferences are before I believe that study. There was also no reference to the down side of having two lesbian mothers, come on, there must be a down side of having two mothers, and I don't accept that being ostracized by peers is the only one...There's an old saying which says....."Don't let the facts get in the way of a good story".

So... What are the facts? What are the downfalls?

Nah - 'May' means it aint certain! Academic studies are always biased, often by leaving out stuff that proves it all wrong lol.

Whoops. Forgot my own opinion.
To me I believe lesbian couples are more prepared for children the straight couples in a way. They had to plan to adopt or artificially inseminate to have these kids. This requires a steady home life and income(generally speaking) to make children happen for a lesbian couple. Once the child is born, then the parents are typically more aware that they are parents. It's in a way like training for the Olympics for 2 years and when it comes you'll probably be more prepared than the person who trained for 11 months.Of course they will go through the typical things a parent goes through, but the children are put in a good situation from the beginning. Also the self esteem contributes to the child already put in a situation most find "abnormal" and is found not acceptable by some, and the child adapts and most other things thrown the child's way is minor to what they had to go through. But really, the couple raising the child comes in knowing this probably will happen and typically preps the child and would know how to deal with it better.
That's just my opinion, I really don't know. I'm just 14 and not even allowed to date yet.

There is no such thing as a 'normal' childhood, just degrees of dysfunction.

You show a remarkably sound understanding of this aspect of parenting, Differ. Kudos.

And don't worry about dating... that will come when you're ready. Best wishes.


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I sthis some sort of Gay people are better than straight people post? I dont think the sexual orientation will decide how good a parent someone is to be honest. The only differenence is that a same sex civil partnership cant accidently get each other pregnent, so if they want a kid then they will have to plan for it and go though the adoption process, where as straight people can accidently get each other pregnent.

Im sure there are loads and loads of people with a mother and a father who had great upbringings. The only thing is these famalies will go on, where as same sex,well soz but your gene seed will be rooted out of existence.

And if you have any problems with the way my parents bought me up, then let us know and we can discuss it in person.

This may be for multiple reasons but i think that the reason that is because lesbians might have had been biased against and experienced being on the butt end of homophobia. Having being pelted with insults all of their life and being bullied would most likely teach their kids not to bully. Better mental health? Most likely gonna do better.

Wow... this old thread being bumped...!!

Having experience of parenting now that I didn't have in 2010 when I last posted in this discussion, I have a greater understanding of just what hard work being a parent is.

Yeah.. it's damned hard. You do your best, but so many more factors are involved than just being "good".

Amanda and I are very fortunate in many ways. We have two graduate incomes coming in. We live comfortably in a small town with a strong sense of community, very little crime and no racial, religious or ethnic tensions. I think it would have been much more difficult for us to bring our little girl up as we have done if any or all of those factors were involved. As it is, she's healthy, happy, well adjusted and smart. She enjoys school, has a lot of friends, has joined clubs and groups and has reaped the benefit of those character developing activities. She is well provided for and lives in a comfortable, loving, nurturing home environment.

None of the things listed above have anything to do with her parents sexuality. Any child growing up in such an environment should be well behaved.

Perhaps the only thing I can now possibly identify as giving the children of gay parents any sort of "advantage" is the manner of their conception.

Most (but I acknowledge that not all) families are planned these days. Easily available contraception and legal abortion not restrained by cost (both are free on the NHS) has enabled adult women of all classes and social status to decide when they want children and in my opinion that is a good thing.

However "accidents" do happen and some children can be conceived when not intended, or may even be unwelcomed. They may come when the parents are not financially stable, or even during a relationship breakdown.

These things affect the level of stability that a child can be born into, with all the concomitant knock-on difficulties that arise from that as they grow.

In the gay family that doesn't happen. Male same-sex couples either adopt or employ a surrogate mother. Female same-sex couples conceive via Assisted Fertilisation Technology. This means that all families are planned. It doesn't mean that we love our children any more than straight couples (I'd never claim that), but it does mean that we have chosen the time and conditions in which we start our families.

And I can assure you all for women, IVF is not an easy process. The difficulties and obstacles in the way of a successful conception are many and varied. To go through with it, a lesbian couple have to REALLY want that child.

We only have children that we really want and that takes an awful lot of potential negatives out of the equation from the very start.

Being a mum has been wonderful for me. It's impossible to convey the emotion I felt when the midwife gave me my newborn daughter in the delivery room. It has to be experienced to be known. But had I been a straight woman and for whatever reason not wanted my baby so much, what might I have felt in that moment instead...??

But my feelings of maternal fulfilment were very real and intense and I'm sure that for the vast, overwhelming majority of straight women, they feel the same. It's a mother thing, not a sexuality thing.

Had Amanda and I been poor, or living in a bad place, or in an unstable relationship. What then..?

There are too many factors involved in the discussion over whether gay parents are better than straight ones. Statistics alone don't tell the full story.