you love the girl of your dreams and she loves you to but...she has a n # 2 lined

The talking to the ex isn't the real problem here. I talk to my first ex all the time too. But it is totally and 100% platonic.

Your problem is her hiding her phone, but her insisting on reading yours. The only way she could make you feel okay about her friendship with her ex is to be a complete open book with you about her conversations with him, which she isn't doing.

I don't blame you for feeling so nervous about this.

I'd let her know that if her convo's with an ex are going to be kept hidden that it could very well become a deal breaker for you. And i would point blank ask her straight up why she is hiding her phone but rummaging all through yours.

I would be completely firm on this. If she can't let you see their texts then you have every right to assume some of them are shady.

i know you southern folk say ya'll a lot but cant believed you actualy typed it in a post like you were speaking it. so funny !

Ah this is redflag number two. THE ONLY way two ex's can remain in a friendship while one is dating someone else is if they both no longer have feelings .. even if she doesn't, the fact that HE does makes all of this chatting VERY inappropriate.

When i was with my last ex and was still talking to the first one on occasion, we BOTH were totally over each other and my conversations with him were not hidden from my ex. He either could hear my side of the phone convo or could read my texts.

And the conversation was VERY infrequent. Limited to if he had a question he knew I could answer and vice versa.

What can I say.....I'm a true southerner
I didn't even notice it until I saw your post

We say it a lot in my region too (virginia)

theres a girl that i like who likes me back as well and she doesnt want to get into a relationship but she agreed that we should not see other ppl. i used to get frustrated alot about it but not so much any more.
when guys hit on her i ignore it now and she has alot of male friends that she went to high school with and i get kinda jealous when she talks to them but its not a big deal anymore.

she told me that there is no number two. its me and then everyone else is far below.
i think if you guys are engaged she should not be lying to you and you should be secure enough about her male friends. try to work it out.

When people say 'you should be secure in your relationship' that is assuming the person they are in a relationship with is not fostering clandestine behavior.

I couldn't with good conscience tell the OP to be secure in this because she sounds like she is up to no good quite frankly.

This is different than he just not wanting her to have male friends. I think your post rings very true if she just wanted to have guy friends and he said absolutely not.

well i saw it and was "fixing" to reply and let you know . haha love the lingo

idk, maybe shes up to no good but maybe not.

for eg. my significant other is rarely ever up to no good but she talks to alot of guys that like her because she's trusting and stupid.

she tries to see the best in ppl too often and is far too sheltered and innocent.
there are about 8 instances where guys were hitting on her and she didnt realize it.

i kinda learnt to understand that as long as a girl is pretty she's going to be hit on by guys.

we argued a few times about it but now im kinda cool with it.

another thing, i dont think its fair to tell a girl she cant have guy friends. cause its not like they listen.

Thanks, I've tried breaking the habit of saying it because I fear it makes me sound ignorant, but it always manages to pop up.

Does she grab her phone from you though when you touch it? I am not at all saying she can't have guy friends...what I am saying is that since she had a romantic relationship wtih this guy (an ex isn't a regular friend, this is someone you were once intimate with) that her conversations with him should be an open book to her fiancee'. She shoudln't be hiding what they are talking about like that. It breeds mistrust and concern, legitamately.

I dont think he has an issue with her having male friends. Or at least that is not what I am getting from his post. I think he just has an issue with her HIDING their conversations to the extent she does, but then wants to flip thru his phone at the same time while hiding hers.

yeah, i guess