Need advice ~ sexual teen

Carly's Mommy

Underneath the Cyanide Sun....

Oct 30, 2009 @ 10:46:18

Okay, #1: don't ever check her texts. They are none of your business unless you are worried and concerned about her life (ie: she's been depressed a lot lately). That's exactly like going through her room. It's disrespectful and a total invasion of privacy.

#2: She's going to have sex whether you like it or not. The best thing to do it precautionally get her on the pill and buy her a box of condoms. When I was with my boyfriend, that's what my mom did. In her head, the pill once a month is cheaper than diapers once a week.

Don't go through her phone again, I think that's really s***ty. I b**** about my parent to my friends via text and have personal conversations I'd rather them not see.

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sister_of_mercy

London, United Kingdom

#17

Oct 30, 2009 @ 10:51:11

@tomkinson24 Said

I really need help and cannot ask anyone I know. My daughter just turned 16 and got her license today. While she was taking the driving test I read her texts. I informed her I was going to as I check her texts sometimes, today she had no time to erase them before I took her phone. I found texts to a kid (not even the kid she likes) but another boy talking about his "c*ck" and her "cl*t" and how it sounded "good". This is the second time she has been caught texting dirty stuff to a kid. The first time was by her dad and she was on her way to meet a boy texting him what she was going to do. We had grounded her and taken away her phone for the entire summer the first time.
She has talked about killing herself (only when she is in trouble) and how I expect to much out of her (she gets all A's)
Needless to say I canceled her texting completely. I don't want to take her phone because she is a new driver. She has already posted that she has no texting and I took it away from her on her facebook and myspace, so now my family and other "fantastic mothers" are asking "why now" etc.
I should also mention I have a step son who text naked pictures back and forth of himself and girlfriend. My husband(his father) took his phone away for ONE week. So my daughter is feeling like she is being punished for everyone.
I am taking her to planned parenthood tomorrow. I am at my witts end and feel like I am failing and don't know where to turn.
Any advice is appreciated.

Looking through her texts is a huge invasion of privacy, that's unfair on her.

As for the rest of it, just trust her. You've done all you can and she sounds like a fairly smart girl, you just have to trust her to do the right thing.

1

x_Laura_x

Nowhere, United Kingdom

#18

Oct 30, 2009 @ 10:59:45

Um yeah going through her texts was a s***ty thing to do. I would go mad if my mum did that.

Unfortunately teenagers are going to have sex whether their parents like it or not, the best thing you can do is just make sure that she's safe.

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tomkinson24

fort wayne, Indiana

#19

Oct 30, 2009 @ 13:33:52

Thanks for the messages. In response to the "I wouldn't dream of reading my child's text messages, it's an invasion of their privacy". I understand it is invaiding her privacy, BUT after having problems brought to my attention by the other cheerleader parents, I informed her that if she wanted to continue having a phone that I would regularly be checking it, same as her facebook and myspace. As for all the notes in her room hid in her headboard, I don't bother. I am not trying to invade her privacy I just had the hopes that she would never text sexual stuff if she knew I checked them. I guess I thought wrong. She does still have her phone, just not the texting. Thank you very much for the advice, I am going to try and learn.

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1029066

Deleted

, Georgia

#20

Jan 09, 2010 @ 05:45:18

@Kristy69 Said

Okay, #1: don't ever check her texts. They are none of your business unless you are worried and concerned about her life (ie: she's been depressed a lot lately). That's exactly like going through her room. It's disrespectful and a total invasion of privacy.

#2: She's going to have sex whether you like it or not. The best thing to do it precautionally get her on the pill and buy her a box of condoms. When I was with my boyfriend, that's what my mom did. In her head, the pill once a month is cheaper than diapers once a week.

Don't go through her phone again, I think that's really s***ty. I b**** about my parent to my friends via text and have personal conversations I'd rather them not see.

First of all, high five! :D lol

I agree and you should never check her texts. I'm 16 and let's face it. People my age are gonna have sex. Now I know you are a parent and it is hard to think about that regarding your child but...it's gonna happen. If you keep opressing her with all the phone being taken away and all, then it will make the situation worse and she may turn to other ways to relieve the stress (like drugs) and will want to rebel more. You aren't doing anything wrong. It's a natural part of teenage life.

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