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Should I cut her loose?

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Ssippigirl On August 27, 2009




hattiesburg, Mississippi
#1New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:49:17
So I have this friend who I met at work and we totally hit it off at first. We had a lot in common etc. We have been frinds for about a year now and I am beginning to see the real side of her. She is very judgemental and untrusting of people. She always questions anything I do as if I am being untruthful. She is also living a very destructive life and refused to listen to anyone when she asks for advice. I am really trying to distance myself from her but I dont want to hurt her as I feel that it may make her really spiral more. i really dont know what to do as I have to work with her everyday. Should I stick by her and hope that its just a phase or am I just starting to see the real side of her??? anybody been in this situation before?
Allyson On January 20, 2010

Deleted



, Michigan
#2New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:50:30
Once you cant Trust that friend, Its time to let go
thunderwish On August 15, 2009




,
#3New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:51:22
you can find other friends ditch her
sugarflyguy On March 15, 2010
Pro-Pho-tographer


Deleted



Leaving TFS today:), United Ki
#4New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:51:54
No, keep her tied up
Wingsy On November 26, 2023
wingsdillialicious!

Moderator




Wingsville,
#5New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:52:16
Keep your distance as much as you can, but don't push her away! Sometimes that's hard to do, but that way, if she does hit rock bottom, she still has a friend who may not have been as close, but never walked away.

I'm going through basically the same thing with a friend of mine right now. Bad decisions on her part that will come to a head on Tuesday. I have the benefit of knowing when rock bottom will be there and that she'll need her friends. That's definitely not usually the case!

Good luck! Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you don't fall with her.
loveis On January 15, 2010
brat-inella


Deleted



In the mirror,
#6New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:52:52
My first thought was to tell her blunty, but gently, that's the friendship is not working out; that her negative ways are effecting you in an unhealthy way..
but since you have to work together, why not just tell a small fib?
Tell her you met a new guy that you really like..
Then, begin to have the excuse "you are with him" all the time to avoid her, until you've developed a comfortable distance.
Allyson On January 20, 2010

Deleted



, Michigan
#7New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:55:09
@Wingsy Said

Keep your distance as much as you can, but don't push her away! Sometimes that's hard to do, but that way, if she does hit rock bottom, she still has a friend who may not have been as close, but never walked away.

I'm going through basically the same thing with a friend of mine right now. Bad decisions on her part that will come to a head on Tuesday. I have the benefit of knowing when rock bottom will be there and that she'll need her friends. That's definitely not usually the case!

Good luck! Whatever you decide to do, just make sure you don't fall with her.



I agree,Just answer if talked too, but be careful
I wouldn't hope they hit rock bottom,
Only maybe a turn around and she understand how she hurt your friendship
Wingsy On November 26, 2023
wingsdillialicious!

Moderator




Wingsville,
#8New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:56:19
@Allyson Said

I agree,Just answer if talked too, but be careful
I wouldn't hope they hit rock bottom,
Only maybe a turn around and she understand how she hurt your friendship



Unfortunately, it usually comes to rock bottom before they realize something needs to change
Allyson On January 20, 2010

Deleted



, Michigan
#9New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 16:57:40
@Wingsy Said

Unfortunately, it usually comes to rock bottom before they realize something needs to change



your right wingsy. its just sad it has to be that way
myk1992 On August 01, 2011

Deleted



Tired out shack :), United Kin
#10New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 17:17:50
You cant trust anyone in this day and age, just live life to the full and forget about everyone else apart from the ones your closest to.
Ssippigirl On August 27, 2009




hattiesburg, Mississippi
#11New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 17:19:39
Thanks everyone! I appreciate the advice!! I think I am just gonna continue the friendship but just put some distance there. I thought that maybe I could be a good influence but I am starting to realize that she is just bringing me down.

You guys are great!!!
Wingsy On November 26, 2023
wingsdillialicious!

Moderator




Wingsville,
#12New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 17:20:35
@Ssippigirl Said

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the advice!! I think I am just gonna continue the friendship but just put some distance there. I thought that maybe I could be a good influence but I am starting to realize that she is just bringing me down.

You guys are great!!!



If she starts pulling you too far, and you can, cut ties as much as possible. No sense in going down with her!

And you can PM me if you need to talk!
silk_boxers On September 14, 2009

Deleted



, Illinois
#13New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 17:40:37
@Ssippigirl Said

She always questions anything I do as if I am being untruthful. She is also living a very destructive life and refused to listen to anyone when she asks for advice.



I have never understood people like that... they ask for advice and then refuse to listen or even try something differently. Why bother even asking for the advice?
Ssippigirl On August 27, 2009




hattiesburg, Mississippi
#14New Post! Aug 06, 2009 @ 17:50:10
@silk_boxers Said

I have never understood people like that... they ask for advice and then refuse to listen or even try something differently. Why bother even asking for the advice?


I know and then gets mad or treats you like you're stupid because you didnt tell her what she wanted to hear...
amelie3 On March 07, 2010




Sydney, Australia
#15New Post! Aug 08, 2009 @ 00:04:41
I agree with others here: if she is being destructive in her own life be careful that doesn't impact on you. I would be friendly but I would create some respectful distance. When people start to spiral out of control there's often little others can do, except be there later.

Something else to think about is that we are all known by the company we keep. If this girl is known at work as a destructive force, do you really want to be known to be one of her besties? In your personal life it wouldn't matter a jot, but do think about how this friendship may impact on you work-wise.
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