Elderly famliy Keep them home or send them to a home?

So What do you think keep the elderly in your home or there with help or put them in a home where they are with help and others in the same situation? I would love to know peoples thoughts on this.

My gram lives with me. We have a care taker with her during the day wile I'm at work.

A lot of factors have to be taken into consideration...

too tough to give a definitive vote. depends on who you are, who the elderly person is and what is the relationship twix the two. it's all about caring about health. the question really should be is would caring for an elderly person in your home adversely affect your own health (your family's)? or theirs? that should answer the question of in home care or outside care. would you respect the wishes of that elder if they chose to remain in their own home rather than what you may perceive as a better option of being taken care of in another home? lots to weigh, lots to respect. my opinion only, of course. our perception can never be another's perception. there lies the weight of our decisions. again, imo.

I think it all depends on their situation. It's a nice thought to be able to keep them at home as long as possible, but after a certain point they may need that extra care that is only available in a home. If they do have to go to a home you should still be there as much as possible to give them the support they need and make them feel at home. It's sad to see people that have basically been abandoned by their family and dumped in a home. They should go for their best interest, not for the convenience of their family.

I was in a nursing home when I couldn't walk and I hated every second of it. I just wanted to die and get it over with. The room I was in was about the size of a small bathroom. There was a cot, a small dresser, a very small closet, a tv, a sink and a small nightstand. The bathroom was down the hall but since I couldn't even get in the wheelchair by myself they would bring a bucket into my room. The dining hall was filled with a lot older people than me and you could see people being fed by some of the staff, someone asking to go to their room over and over again, someone laughing out loud all of a sudden and for no reason, people staring off in the distance, seeing no one, hearing nothing. After going to the dining room twice I told them I wasn't going to go back to it again. I ate in my room by myself but at least I could eat instead of being too upset to eat. No, unless someone had to go to a nursing home because they are violent, I would not let a family member go to a nursing home at all.

I know that there are some good nursing homes out there but unfortunately I wasn't in one.

Unfortunately, may not have any choice. My quandry is what to avoid or watch out for in a nursing home.

ok, the only way it wouldn't be selfish to send someone to a home would be if there really is NO way for anyone to watch over them. Suppose you're an only child whose mother died and your father is suffering from Alzheimer's. Here's the catch; you and your partner both work OR you're single and of course, you have to work.
I think in a case like this, it would be best to place this elderly person in a home. At least, he's being taken care of properly AND its not like he'll be sitting around and wasting away. I mean depending on the level of each person's capabilities, "homes" have activities to keep their minds functioning and active. So sometimes, its an only option.

However, i find it selfish to just place someone in a home on the basis that you feel it's too much work or just can't bother with them. just my opinion.

My mum has already said to my grandmother than if she ever gets too fragile she's going in a home I would probably do the same as there is usually a much better service of care than what I myself would be able to provide.

Plus it's a good place for socialising with other elderly folk so there wouldn't be as high a chance of developing depression or feelings of isolation.