@lisajones Said
Anyone want to try and explain how normal people are supposed to feel normal? I've had bi-polar disorder for years & don't use meds. Never found any that would consistently work, even after dosages were increased or 2-3 drugs were prescribed together. My last doctor said not to try any more meds since I've mostly handled the illness on my own for over 30 years.
But I still don't understand what normal is supposed to be.
Hi. You may be interested in seeing a documentary that the actor/writer Stephen Fry made about bi-polar disorder. As a sufferer himself, he admitted candidly in the doco that he doubts he could have succeeded as an actor or a writer wtihout the euphoria and boundless energy that the disorder has brought to him.
He was also very open about the troubles undiagnosed bi-polarity caused him in his youth. This included humourous interviews with the teachers from the boarding school who expelled him, for reasons he could barely recall. He was also not taking meds, and bravely allowed himself to be filmed on one of his 'down' days. He seemed very flat, without energy, and admitted that he was obsessed with dark thoughts and troubles as he spoke to the camera, -a valuable insight into what the down-side of the disorder must be.
He also interviewed a range of bi-polar sufferers, some famous including Richard Dreyfus and Carrie Fisher, but most ordinary people. Most of them admitted that they secretly loved many aspects of their bi-polarity and wouldn't wish it away in a million years if they had the chance to. A couple of the people he interviewed were clearly crippled by the disorder and no meds had helped them achieve any kind of enjoyable life at all.
I can only suggest this - can you imagine feeling the same way all the time? No euphoric highs, no debilitating lows - just a steady state of calmness? Technically, I think that is normal. But what's normal? I don't know how many people feel this way, even 'normal' people. But that is the best analogy I can think of. I don't wish to make light of your bi-polar disorder as I don't understand what it has meant for you - some difficult times I am sure. As I suffer from depression and anxiety myself, I cannot accurately describe normal for you from experience either.