Our grandfather had a method for meeting girls, which we expect could work for meeting boys.
The method went something like this.
1. Ask permission to be in the boy?s space. For example, in a school cafeteria, ?May I join you for lunch?? Or maybe if a bunch of boys are standing around before school, ?How are you guys today?? If you get any negative reaction, smile, say something polite, and walk away.
2. If they appear to accept you into their space, ask, ?Do you like girls who are shy?? We?re not sure of the purpose of this question, except that it?s a second test of his karma. If you get a positive answer, continue. If you get a negative answer, smile, say something polite, and walk away.
3. If they offer a positive reaction, ask, ?I can tell fortunes, past, present and future. Would you like me to tell your fortune.? If they say no, smile, say something polite, like ?Okay, maybe next time,? and walk away. At this point, if you have managed to get three positive responses, you have discovered that they have at least the courage to talk to you. They may be willing to get to know you, even if you have a defect, like being shy.
4. If they want you to tell their fortune, ask to hold their hands. This is an important step because if they will not let you touch them, they are not good material as a boyfriend, at least not yet, because the whole idea of a boyfriend is holding hands and getting hugs. If they won?t let you hold their hands, smile, say something polite, ?Well, maybe next time,? and walk away.
5. If they are willing to let you hold their hands, ask them to cross their wrists. You cross your wrists and hold their hands. We don?t understand why the crossing of the wrists, and Gramps says that has forgotten why.
6. Everybody gets the same past fortune. Tell them that they were born, and that they had a happy child hood. If you get a positive response continue. If you get a negative response, such as, ?Hell, no. My old man beats me,? continue, but you have learned important information. You don?t want a boyfriend that needs to be repaired.
7. Everybody gets the same present fortune. ?You are having to have a good day.? Or, ?You are meeting an exciting girl, who will change your life.? The second line sounds rather forward to us, but we have never tried this, so we can?t really say. If you get a positive response, continue. If you get a negative response, continue; but again you have gained important information. Nobody needs a boyfriend who wants to groan about the crap in his life.
8. Everybody gets the same future fortune. ?You will marry, and have three children; one of each kind.? At our age, we don?t expect to meet any married boys, but Gramps says that he used this method as an adult. By mentioning marriage, probably the boy or the man will volunteer that information. You definitely don?t want a married boyfriend. By mentioning children, you gain more useful information. If they don?t want children or they say something negative about children, they could be an okay date, or even a temporary boyfriend; but he may not be material for a permanent relationship.
9. The three kinds of children are boys, girls, and wife. You don?t need to explain unless they ask. If they ask, you say that the three kinds are boys, girls, and wife. (Any boys using this will say boys, girls, and husband.) If he accepts it as reasonable, that?s a good sign. It could mean that he will someday be a nurturing husband for some lucky girl. It he make negative remarks, maybe he?s are okay for a date, but not a permanent relationship.
10. If he continues the conversation in a way that includes you in his world, you can stay in his space, otherwise, maybe you should smile, say something polite and leave. Our mothers insist that we should not hang around men who ?do not include us in their world.? We don?t really understand this, but we suspect that if men won?t include you, then they have no world in which to be included. That makes them a very bad choice as a boyfriend. Also, our mothers insist that women should appear to be busy. ?I need to study.? ?My mother needs my help.? ?I have an appointment.? ?Wow, that sounds like fun. Let me see if I can change my schedule.? Gramps says that the only difference in this procedure for boys is that boys should expect the girls to want to be included in the boy?s space. We don't understand the reason for the difference, but that's what they said.
Anyone wanting want to use this method should practice it, maybe with a girlfriend first. Gramps says that he would use it whenever he met women that he didn't know. For example, if he saw a woman at a restaurant or a bus stop, he would start with question #1, "Do you mind if I sit here?" He says the answer was, "No, I don't mind. Have a seat," as often as it was "You creep, get out of my space."
And he says that he sometimes used it with women he already knew, or with woman with whom he had already met by using the method. Some people are unable to deal with two times through the method. Instead of thinking, "Wow, you are going to all this trouble to get to know me," they think, "You creep, how dare you fool me twice." He says that either way, the result is good. If they can see the positive side, then maybe they can accept you as a friend. If they get angry over something so trivial, then probably they are too damaged to be your friend.
We definitely would not be as bold as Gramps says he was with total strangers, but we don't see any reason not to try the method at school or a party or church, someplace safe.