Is revenge justified or is it just being vindictive?

I say tell her. Not out of revenge but b/c she probably deserves to know. Also, he'll probably cheat on her too, and so you have a chance to possibly keep a good person from getting hurt, so it would just be the right thing to do in telling her.

Who says that she deserves to know? I mean he already has cheated on her and unless she is a complete dunce, most women have a good sence when something isn't right in a relationship. She may know and not care. But even if she doesn't know, it's never a good thing to hear it from the other woman. It would hurt a lot more coming from the other woman.

In the OP is says she doesn't know. So, I say tell her, and hopefully she'll break up with him. If she's innocent she won't get hurt so bad to break it off now. And justice will be done by leaving the a*****e all alone.

Personally I would tell her she deserves to know what kind of person she is dealing with. Then she can decide for herself.

Thanks for all the opinions. I've decided to let it go. It just hurts to much to pursue any of it further. The other woman will just have to work it out herself just like I did. She is a stranger to me, so I'm putting me first and walking away.

I know you said you're going to let it go, but I belive in trying to "do unto others" when i can and I'd want to know. Wouldn't you have wanted someone to tell you? If you knew the truth earlier you could have moved on adn not wasted time with him.

If my guy was two timing me and the other girl found out before I did, I would flippin' hope that she would at least give me the information that she had, so that I would be able to make an informed decision about my relationship.

I would definitely want her facts, so that I would know that she wasn't just trying to get my guy away from me, but I would want to know.

Maybe she already knows, and didn't care...who knows what he's told her? But I wouldn't tell her directly to her face. I would probably call her or email and say that we have a mutual acquaintance, and lay out my history with the guy...then let her ask him.

Revenge will make you just as bad as he is.
Vindicism is 'causing anguish or hurt', which is exactly what he did to you !
It may make you 'feel' happy, but will it FIX your predicament ?

I dont believe in cheating on partners or being cheated on myself, as playing the persons heart it has harmful affect that hinders the person in possible future relationships.
One should really be honest with oneself before entering a relationship and if you cant actually think about that and truley answer that question then maybe ya shouldnt get into a relationship in the first place with them.

It is however plausable to have open relationships but that is honest and straight forward with each other at the beginning.

Let them know! Why should he have the opportunity to be happy when he messed you around. It might turn out that she wont care, but she'll know, everyone has the right to that. then you move on and get yourself someone better!

I wouldn't give a s*** what you call it do it you can't just sit back and pretend you are ok.

How abotu this? Set both of them on fire? Thats jsut my vengence...